In a relationship...

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How long is reasonable to say "I love you"...?

Especially if you've already said it and get no response........

i don't know because i usually wait for the other person to say it first. . . don't really know when the right time to say it is but I do know that it shouldn't be longer than a couple days before the other person says it. . . at least thats what i'd think

it's been months and still nothing in response

i don't really know, because when i think about it, the situation has been different with every relationship i've been in.

once a guy said it to me after only 1 or 2 weeks, and that was too fast.

yet... my husband said to me after 3 weeks, "you're falling in love with me aren't you?" and that felt okay (except he wasn't in love with me yet so it was awkward). he didn't say it back for another 2 or 3 weeks!

my friend is comfortable saying it to her girlfriend (of 2 months) quite often even though she hasn't heard it back yet. and it has been 2 weeks since she first said it. but i don't know your situation.

9 mo relationship...

ive said it quite a few times since a couple months ago... which is fine... but it's starting to get hard.

i mentioned once how i felt exposed... but still nothing.

he's a probable aspie... so i dunno

that seems like long enough to me, but to some people i think the word 'love' is problematic. i've known a couple of people who did not like to attach words to their feelings and they were more comfortable showing their love than speaking their love. to them, the word 'love' implied hollywood swooning and rose petals, which did not apply to their actual feelings.

do you feel that he loves you? if you know it on the inside, is that enough? (just asking. it probably wouldn't be enough for me.)

he suffers from depression and has been kinda in a funk but it's hard for me to tell cause i guess he hides it well...

i dunno. im happy... it's just hard. he's in a near town, so i don't see him that often and i just feel anxious a lot.

Girl, you're both Aspies (or at least you expect you're both Aspies). If you want to get some kind of definitive resolution of what's going on with him right now, you're gonna have to talk to him about it. Just be sure you've figured out what it is you want/need to communicate.

I think asking him in a very non-offensive way will be best. Don't force an answer out of him, just sit him down and tell him how you feel. Ask him if he feels the same way, so that he can give you a "yes" or a "no," incase it's the word that he doesn't like. Ask if he can tell you how he feels about you.

There's no set time, it depends on how things are between you two, and you're the only one here two really knows that.

Personally I think it should be fine to say the moment a relationship starts. That said, I also don't feel comfortable starting a relationship with someone I don't love...

I think people should only say that if/when they feel it otherwise it will be meaningless. I'd only say it when I felt it & I'd want my partner to only say it when she felt it. The length of time is meaningless

i'd feel weird and suspicious if someone said that to me within the first few weeks. Like others have said attaching a word to feelings does not work so well but is only useful for comunication