For what it's worth, I'm here to say that it IS possible.

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Couldn't think of a good title so I quoted Gattaca.


My beautiful aspie other

Using the The Premier Aspergian Singles List, my now-boyfriend contacted me. I highly recommend it for any single Aspies. It was love for us at first dorky, exchanged PMs.

For what it's worth, I'm here to tell you that it is possible. It is possible.

And by "it", I mean finding love/romance... call it what you wish. It is here, it is over there, it is anywhere you wish to find it... if you look hard enough. It could be next door, or it could be on the other side of the world, the latter being the case with us. No ocean will keep us apart, and as I type this he is waiting on his passport to arrive so he can visit me here in New Zealand in a matter of weeks. Yes, he is willing to fly halfway across the world for me, all the way from England. He is willing to maybe move here in the future too. That is love. Love drives you to do such things.

I know that you may be skeptical, logical aspies as you are, and you may be thinking how could we love each other when we haven't even met? Well, when you crave to talk to a person every day, when you find them beautiful both on the inside and out, when you overlook any flaws they may possess and decide that they don't matter, when their radiant smile brings a smile to your own face, when you dream of a future with them, that is love. And if you won't call it love, call it the potential for love. I don't know about you, but whether it be potential for it or the real thing, I want that. My life would be a lonely one indeed without it.

My boyfriend and I have been talking for five months now. Whether this be through instant messages, video calls using our webcams, or good old telephone, we have talked every day for hours on end. We plan to do the same together in person in a few weeks. He will stay with me for a month (I can hardly wait!).

Just stay hopeful, fellow aspies, and one day you might discover the mythical thing they call love too and realise it is not so mythical. Some girls, like me, love your brilliant logical minds, and we find your awkwardness and sensitivity cute. Just don't grow cynical and bitter; embrace sensitivity and romance, keep looking, and it will come to you someday.

Love makes the world go round, as they say.

Silly me, but unless your boyfriend gave you permission to put his photo up here in public, you REALLY might want to take it down while you still can. Trust me on this one.... Sighed - an old broad.

I do indeed have his permission. He finds this public declaration very sweet.

That's my mantra on here, despite others telling me that it's impossible.

Last edited by Tim_Tex on 03 Jan 2010, 2:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

What if you aren't looking for another Aspie though? What if you like neurotypical women?

Then I'd recommend a regular, mainstream dating website if you want to meet a NT lady online.

congrats to both of you. now dont either one of ya muck things up *no, this is a rare moment of me feeling happy for someone so please dont take it the wrong way. >_>

Last edited by DemonAbyss10 on 02 Jan 2010, 11:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Thank you, we are doing everything in our power to make sure this lasts!

I meant in real life. My problem is I'm a mild Aspie. I'm "one step behind" common-sense and life-smarts wise, but I don't have weird interests and can be quite outgoing around the right people (Family, friends that I like, women that I'm attracted to) etc. My problem is that when I'm not familiar with someone, I don't have a "feel" for them and don't know how to act around them, and usually end up making a bad first impression.

You'll find that a lot of aspies have that problem, myself included. I'm not the best person to ask for advice on this. All I can say is act as normal as you can, observe what others say in casual conversations with acquaintances and strangers, and try to replicate their mood. Get to know the girl, ask her about herself, and it'll all go from there.

Congratulations - you two seem like a cute couple. Good luck with the visit.

Ok, I'm gonna give it another go.

The problem is when other less-caring women start taking advantage of that awkwardness and sensitivity and using it to slam us into the ground, it's hard not to become cynical and bitter...

You just have to remember that all women are different.
In the sense of niceness we are like berries; some of us are sweet, some have a bit of spice.
But you'll want to avoid the poisonous and bitter ones.
Don't let one berry put you off the rest of the bunch.

Oh man, I am a sucker for the wild, curly hair.

You know, I don't know if my boyfriend would count as an 'aspie,' but he does have traits. Up until we were together, when we were friends, he was already resigned to being alone. Neither of us expected that we'd suddenly have a reason to be together, and mutual attraction.

Life experience can really lead you to some weird and unexpected shnite, let me tell you what.

I doubt there are any single, female, Minnesota-based aspies on this site.