Let's talk about romantic privacy, guys

Post Reply New Topic

I'm a little troubled by a trend I've noticed lately, of WP guys corresponding with girls and then posting the conversations, the girls' names or nicknames and even pics on WP forums.

There are enough reasons I might not answer an e-mail on aspieaffection. Please don't add to it the fear that a guy might post the results of our communications on the forums for all to see.

I only use a person's real name if they themselves use it on the forum

I'm not sure that's enough to justify making everything public. Why are you guys assuming that romantic or would-be romantic communications are free for WP posting?

If I reply to a guy privately, I'm assuming he won't post my e-mail or an identifying synopsis thereof in public. I thought that would be an automatic understanding. The gentlemanly thing to do, in another time.

I'll tell you what, I've responded in the past, but if this keeps up I never may again. And if I'm thinking that, I bet other aspie girls are as well. We do tend to think alike.

well I never been romantically involved with anyone
but I get what you mean

I wouldn't doubt that alot of the people who post here could also have a profile there, and as much as alot of people would like to talk about it, I guess that person could see it here.

You do bring up a good point.

If I were in that position, I would only post real names and/or pics under one of two conditions

1) She gave me explicit permission to use names and/or pics
2) She posted names and/or pics of me...

yeah its disrespectful and it creeps them out when you're so public about it. it kinda makes you look possessive. so uh knock it off. no wonder so many of you guys complain about the girl cutting off contact. .

I'd go along with that.



No, lads. We've gotta rise above.

Hear hear, that's what I'm on about

Yeah, I'm feeling really bad for the girl in kbergren21's thread; especially if she just got cold feet. I think that's more of a sheer aspie than autie thing though, like the people who are doing it really are either just lacking the social gription or alternatively are using that proposed lack-there-of just to do what they feel like doing - either way its some ugly business.

We don't need to name names. Can't we agree on a code of conduct going forward?

Mods, your input is invited.

Last edited by juliekitty on 19 Jan 2008, 4:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I just added a thread to the global moderators forum on this. Being I'm not real active in this regard I don't know what's been done already in the past for this kind of thing or what we can do now but I'm hoping people will come on board about getting this resolved.

Do screen names or names really matter though? Its not like they are posting addresses.

Maybe Im just not informed. Maybe this forum does need a code of conduct. Still, sometimes I feel this is one big discussion bonanza.

I agree that a number of posts lately have violated the privacy of the other parties involved. I think Techstep mentioned that some of the content could also be considered insulting and I agree with that as well. I don't know that we need a formal code of conduct, but perhaps the mods should step in more often. Basically what I'm thinking is that the posting of private communications should be confined to paraphrasing and small quotes. What do you guys think?

I think so. I wouldn't want juliekitty being bandied about, that's for sure.



That's what I'm hoping to get going.

When it gets that specific its a nightmare for both parties involved (the girls when they find out that they've been trashed in front of thousands of people, the guys if they ever realize the magnitude of it and what they're doing to their own dignity in disclosing that much info). The hardest part is there is an element of other factors as well, not everyone's on the same functioning level and some people will make these slips just because - this is an aspie forum. Because of that though I think your right, we may have to take much more decisive action early in the game.