Why all of a sudden I started having crushes?

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I had my crushes during and before my adolescence, but I gradually outgrew that type of emotion-driven irrational thinking and during a 6-7 years time period I never had a crush again. But recently I've had 2 crushes within a 4 month time period and this bittersweet feeling that comes along with crushes is taking a toll on my happiness. It's also affecting my self-esteem because I used to take great pride in my ability to not let my emotions interfere with my reasoning, but now I find myself fantasizing about women I saw on TV whom I'll never meet in real life and even if I met them my chances of dating them are zero.

Is this a sign that I am becoming less aspergean or just an early sign of brain damage?

um..how old are you?..if you don't mind my asking...

I am so glad I learned about limerence or having crushes, come to find out it is a chemical thing that is more of a problem than a benefit sometimes!

and of course, like everything else it goes haywire.




Here is the info:

Limerence can often be what is meant when one expresses "having a crush" on (or infatuation with) someone else although limerence, unlike a crush, can last months, years or even a lifetime. It is characterized by intrusive thinking and pronounced sensitivity to external events that reflect the disposition of the limerent object towards the individual. It can be experienced as intense joy or as extreme despair, depending on whether the feelings are reciprocated. Unlike English many other languages have traditional terms to denote limerence, like in German Verliebtheit or Russian ; (vlyublyonnost); both expressions may roughly be translated to “fallen-in-love-ness”.


Origins
The concept of limerence first originated in Tennov's research in the mid-1960s. She interviewed over 500 people on the topic of love. Tennov coined the term "limerence" in 1977, publishing it in her 1979 book "Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love".


Distinction from love and other emotions
Tennov differentiates between limerence and other emotions by asserting that:

Love involves concern for the other person's welfare and feeling, while limerence does not require it, although it can certainly be incorporated.

Affection and fondness exist only as a disposition towards another person, irrespective of whether those feelings are reciprocated, whereas limerence demands return.

Physical contact with the object is neither essential nor sufficient to an individual experiencing limerence, unlike one experiencing sexual attraction.

New Relationship Energy (NRE) thrives on open communication and known mutuality of feelings and is mostly seen as a positive bonding experience, while limerence can dissipate once reciprocity is established, and is characterized by uncertainty and anxiety. New Relationship Energy also carries implications of active contrast with relationships in different stages, while limerence does not.

Limerence can be longer-lived than transient forms of romantic feelings such as infatuation and puppy love, enduring for months, or even years in the absence of knowledge about reciprocity.

as I say, this info helped me to sort out my feelings quite a bit.

I'm in my mid 20's



morrigan, thanks for the info. I'm not sure this is limerance though. It could be limerance or just classic infatuation.

What is the difference?

I can be very susceptable to limerance. It can be a terrible terrible thing....

I have done terrible terrible things because of limerance.

I never want to experience it ever again....it helps that i know what it is though.

i have it and love the way it makes me feel!

I don't have crushes anymore