fantasies

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I've been noticing lately that if I ever have fantasies about women, they're never of a sexual nature... instead they usually involve us falling asleep in each other's arms and that whole deal.

Is it normal to have all fantasies be non-sexual, or is it a sign that I'm becoming an asexual person?

i believe that is shows that you feel a need for affection

and does not represent anything to do with sexual desire or lack of

Sounds pretty normal to me. I get those too. It is a nice thought falling sleep in each other arms.

I doubt it means you are turning asexual.

I get sex thoughts as well just not recurring fantasies. If I had to chose I would say I prefer the hugging because the sex thought are not all that fulfilling nor much of an aid as I can't visualize. I suppose they can be fun sometimes too.

Honestly do you ever hug your pillow, etc?

I think most people have some fantasies like you've described, and some sexual ones. Maybe more of the former if you're not feeling so good and wish you had more support. I wouldn't worry about it.

funny thing is, I end up dong that every night when i sleep, practically... I thought it was just the position I slept in...

And yes, I have always felt the need for affection more strongly than the need for sex (although both are there...) I guess I just never noticed it before...

sleep with one lengthwise against me every night... throw and arm and a leg over it... though i dont necessarily do these with a body next to me... but i do oh so love the intertwined sleeping.

I think you often dream about what you most want at the time. Maybe your craving a relationship rather than just sex so falling asleep is a symbol of that - something you'd do with a girlfriend, not someone you're just sleeping with?

I get these innocent fantasies a lot. Like, just wishing there was someone sitting next to me on my couch, so I could put my arm around her shoulder while we watch TV together.

That's basically most of what I desire and dream about with another girl, I don't have much sexual drive. It's there... but not dominating my thoughts.

i get them all the time. no further details are required

I stopped having those BS romantic fantasies
its all crap to me

You may be right about that... I know I've been rather annoying to all those people who post the "I want sex" threads, which could just be the fact that I think that wanting just sex is just too shallow (maybe you've seen some of those hand pictures I've posted)...

I seem to remember seeing 1, hadn't realised you were the same person though!
The reason I came to that conclusion is that it's what I crave myself. I do desire sex too but intimacy and sharing life with someone special are higher on my list, which means the fantasies I experience are often less sexual.

It's not a BS romantic fantasy, everyone needs to be touched and loved, even less sociable people.

I don't know why wanting non-sexual affection makes people think you're weak or pathetic but wanting sex makes you cool and exciting.

It's a scientific fact that babies and children need to be touched to thrive and be healthy, so why would it be any different for adults?

I think society is over-sexualized and has made it so that you can't ever touch someone without it being sexual. Sometimes I just want someone to hug me or stroke my hair or rub my back, but I'm not "allowed" to have someone do this unless it's with a romantic partner (which I don't have), even though I don't consider those things sexual at all. It makes for a lot of sad and lonely people, I think.

Yeah I don't like that about our society. And what makes it difficult for me, is that I associate any touch as a threat or sexual... instinctively.

It's hard for me to touch others also, because I associate it in a sexual way... any touch really. I don't want to, but I do.

I really have no clue about what is communicated by touch, and all the implications of it.... or what is expected of me in certain situations. This isn't something that is exactly told to you, and

I don't think I was touched much growing up... maybe... I can't remember. All of this seems to indicate such...

I know what you mean, unless I've become comfortable with them any form of touching from a person is extremely uncomfortable. An example I often come across (& hate) is when paying for goods with cash and hands accidently touch. I'm sure this is something quite normal to others but I really dislike it personally. Also (generally) older people who like to touch your arm/elbow when talking to you - awful!

Last edited by Mark198423 on 14 Jan 2008, 9:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.