an invisible touch kinda situation

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Kilroy
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15 Jan 2008, 1:08 am

so I know this girl, who's boyfriend is kind of a bastard to her
so she wants to hang with me-because I'll do stuff she likes (dancing, etc)
I don't know if I should trust her-but she's a nice person
just fed up with her situation of being ignored...

what do I do?
(if she likes being around me she will probably wanna hook up) :o



LVBen
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15 Jan 2008, 1:13 am

Do you like doing the stuff she likes to? Would you feel like you wasted your time if you do that stuff with her and never hook up with her? Do you spend any money on her?



Kilroy
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15 Jan 2008, 1:23 am

yes she is a fun person to hang with
no I wouldn't as we'd still be friends
and no I don't
not sure if I'd have to :?



LVBen
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15 Jan 2008, 3:21 am

Kilroy wrote:
yes she is a fun person to hang with
no I wouldn't as we'd still be friends
and no I don't
not sure if I'd have to :?


well then, I think you should just keep doing what you are doing...



woodsman25
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15 Jan 2008, 3:22 am

I dont understand, I mean I get the gist of it but are you sick of her situation because she is being ignored by her BF or are you sick of her situation of her ignoring you?

I am not sure eather way what a good route would be. The thing is its not cool to break up relationships, but it is cool to have friends and I guess it is up to her to make the choice. I suppose you would not be breaking up the relationship if she asked you out and told you she would dumb her BF for you. But if you ask her while she has a BF or put the moves on then I suppose you would be breaking up the relationship. Just watch whatever you do, that can be dangerous water you will be swimming in, but if you do the right things you in my eyes anyways wont be responsible for what happens, let her do all that. Just my thoughts I am the last guy on Earth you wanna ask relationship advice of. Most middle schoolers have more experience with these things then I do, its sad but very true.


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Mark198423
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15 Jan 2008, 7:53 am

Kilroy wrote:
so I know this girl, who's boyfriend is kind of a bastard to her
so she wants to hang with me-because I'll do stuff she likes (dancing, etc)
I don't know if I should trust her-but she's a nice person
just fed up with her situation of being ignored...

what do I do?
(if she likes being around me she will probably wanna hook up) :o


It could be that she's one of those girls who doesn't like to be single and if her boyfriend really is a bastard to her then she may be looking for a replacement (you) to move straight onto...

On the other hand she could also be really into him (they say women love a bastard) and just using you as an outlet for the things she can't get from him. This could be both a conscious or subconscious thing on her part.

The way to find out is the most difficult bit (for us anyway), you need to read the signals she's sending you to see if she's into you in that way...



Kilroy
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15 Jan 2008, 10:42 am

she doesn't seem to be the using type
I mean she just wants to have fun you know
she's unhappy
I don't wanna break up the relationship they have either
and won't do anything beyond friend status until/if she breaks up with him
woodsman25-I'm not sick of anything she is



0_equals_true
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15 Jan 2008, 11:01 am

If the boyfriend is really a bastard, hopeful she will recognize this.

I don't think you would, but I wouldn't take advantage of the fact.

She probably needs a friend.



Kilroy
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15 Jan 2008, 11:23 am

yeah...and I just want a friend too
she likes the fact I like all the romantic stuff-where as he (the boyfriend) doesn't
its not about sex because he's better looking then me and I'm a virgin :lol:
so...I know that's not it



Mark198423
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15 Jan 2008, 11:28 am

Kilroy wrote:
she doesn't seem to be the using type


Didn't mean using you in a malicious way, more in the mould of 'I use my drinking friends to go to the pub with and my more intellectual friends to discuss interests/current events'.



Kilroy
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15 Jan 2008, 11:38 am

ohh god what do I do :lol:



0_equals_true
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15 Jan 2008, 11:45 am

Why not continue as you are? If any time it is like you are being used, then I would either see her less or voice those concerns. I probably more lean towards speaking my mind nowadays.

Being used is relative. You might actually both enjoy the function you have together, in which case you not using each other in a bad way.



Mark198423
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15 Jan 2008, 11:49 am

Kilroy wrote:
ohh god what do I do :lol:


I'd try putting some feelers out there...
Ask if she's thought of leaving him/why she stays with him. If you guide the conversation well enough you may be able to find what she's looking for without being too direct.

Try to drop it within a conversation though, rather than just coming out with it. If he's a bastard I'm sure you'll already hear the odd complaint about him - that's the perfect opportunity!



Kilroy
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15 Jan 2008, 11:52 am

thanks guys for all your advise :D