Dating site experiences?

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I see that actually "chatting someone up " isn't the fashion these days.

Anybody tried the dating sites?

Last edited by TrueDave on 27 Jan 2008, 5:23 am, edited 1 time in total.

Yep.

And?

Learn anything interesting?

I tried it once, and I don't plan on trying it again. I don't think dating sites are for me. The view I got on it was just people trying to hurry to meet and get in your pants. I need to go slower than that. Much slower.

I learned that dating sites is very useful for single girls only but it can be a great waste of time for guys. (since guys have little change to get a date from dating site.)

Same here,I tried editing my POF profile & still no takers.

likewise.

I can't find profiles I like.
They are mostly of the kind "hey i wanna meet cool guys no weirdoes plz in my free time i like to hang out". When they are not (something already like 5%) there's usually something else wrong with them like they strictly want a guy over 6' who smokes (literally) or want someone very religious or are hyperobese or simply never reply.
Also no one ever contacts me on their own volition (other than random gay dudes at a sex site I decided to try once); it's like they just don't care or a flooded with messages. . . or both.

Plus, the profiles that are effectively blank. The vast majority of online profiles could've been written by the same woman - one that would bore me to tears were I to meet her.

I rather gave up on them....because although I can post without a problem on the forums...I stink at the chat thing.

Nothing like "aspie delay" by IM.

them: "So...have you lived all of your life in ***?"

3 min later...

them: "Hello..are you still there?"

Me finally replying 10 minutes later after re-writing the last sentence for the 3rd time after waiting for my brain to kick in.

No one has THAT much patience.

I tried a dating site once. Didn't like it. At first I kept on getting lots of messages from creepy men. Eventually, I found a guy who looked interesting and we decided to meet up. He asked me to help with his laundry and said he had already had 30 women

What do you mean by chatting up? I try to send 1 medium-sized message every 1 - 2 days. I would never send IM type messages unless me both agreed to chat via IM later on. On my 3rd or 4th message, I ask for her telephone number.

I'll send winks to girls, and I won't waste my time writing any messages unless they wink back or write a message back. I think I've had some relatively good success. I have had problems with girls that look nothing like their photos. Sometimes they look better, but many times they look worse.

Probably 80% or more of the girls that send me messages have "Spiritual, but not religious" listed as their religion, because I have "atheist" listed as my religion, and there seem to be very few agnostic women and even fewer atheist women on dating sites.

I'm on a dating site, and people generally use pick up lines like "how was ur weekend?" Me, not being a fan of poor grammar or small talk, ignored most of these >_<

Dating sits and dating in general aren't for me.

When I was Catholic I was on a couple orthodox Roman Catholic dating sites. I mention the type of site because these places tended to attract a larger proportion of intellectuals than most sites, so I met people who were very intelligent and could spell. Years ago I was on okcupid and I met some awesome friends there but I wasn't looking for dates at that time. The matching algorithm, again, only matched me with guys I actually found interesting, which was great. At the Catholic sites I also met many interesting men. Again, I ended up not really being ready for a relationship (which was lucky as I reverted to being an agnostic soon after, which would have made such a relationship non-viable anyhow) but there were tons of opportunities.

The majority of the guys I talked to were decent fellows. A few were great. A few were... borderline psycho. Overall, I would highly recommend dating sites, even though I met the right guy later on in a different medium. Pay attention to the front page. If it looks skanky (and you're not), move on to another site.

I think for guys, you need to be somewhat to fairly aggressive and send out a lot of e-mails to women (they probably won't come to you). Also, you need a really good profile picture, because they are most likely going solely on looks. I have heard mixed opinions on dating sites, but you definitely have better chances if you do these things. I am thinking about trying to use facebook to meet some women. I haven't had the nerve to try a dating site yet, but I'm sure it's inevitable. When I do either, I will make sure to post about it here.

That basically covers it. Dating sites still put women in the power position of choosing who they are or aren't interested in. Odds are, unless you are above-average looking, as a guy, dating sites are relatively useless. Dating sites are like picking a someone out of a catelog; you're stripped down to your specs instead of the person that you are. It doesn't allow you to get to know each other any better or give you the chance to use your charm before a judgement is made.

Getting over approach anxiety is far more likely to help in the long run (& yes, that's easier said than done). At least when given the opportunity to talk to someone, you can win them over or make an impression upon meeting them. You may not get to have that chance with a dating site.