When and how should I tell girls about my AS

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I have 4 friends-who-are-girls: they respond to my facebook messages, talk on the phone, and meet me in coffee bars and to catch movies. They all have made clear that we're just friends and of course, I'm infatuated, to varying degrees, with all of them.

My question is how I should tell them about my condition?

I've already told one and it (a facebook message) basically went like this:
I suffer my from Asperger's Syndrome, a disorder communication and social interaction. It is why you found me to be creepy the other day in Starbucks.

For the other ones, should I first start off by saying "hey there's something I'd really like to tell you about me, but I'm not sure if you want to hear it..."

or should I just continue like the first one and say it all at once?

I'm also communicating with some women via a dating service and don't know how to go about telling them about me.

thanks

Brilliant!

I wish I could contribute something more useful, recognising a problem is half way to a solution.

I wish you luck

No make it out casually. Or even cool.

"I'm in this very select club. You can't get in you have to be born into it. We have our own form of talking , hand signals everything. The goverments out to shut us down so theres no mor eof us,. . . .I' guess we'll just have to go underground."

Seriously I know its hard but dont make it out to be so bad. Don't use so much negative language.

Tell them like you would tell some body you're actually from Canada. A little oh did you know kinda thing.

Remember how we're told to remain calm and positive when breaking some crazy news to a child?
I wouldnt tell untill theres reason to.

I went through ten weeks of acting class. It wasnt untill my grade and the teacher was saying I had really bad eye contact that I said. "Really ? You think? Here I thought I was doing much better. Are you familiar with Aspergers? Its a high form of Autism and eye contacts an issue there."

THE WORST thing about telling someone who does not already kinow what AS is is them hearing your say " I have ass burgers."
Damn how I wish that doctors name had been "Smith "or something . . . .

Do you really 'suffer' from Asperger's, or is that just the catchphrase. Anyway you could word it so that it sounds like you're cool with it.

Why bother telling them, do they really need to know? I mean, if they think you're creepy, then this won't change their opinion of you, it'll just make them understand. Do you need to justify yourself to them? (I'm not saying you shouldn't, but if they're just casual friends that you don't really know that well, then I don't see how it would make things better for you.)

First of all, yes I do indeed _suffer_ from Aspergers. I'm certainly not cool with it.

The reason I felt compelled to tell the first girl was that I could see she was nervous about something there in the Starbucks, but I can never be sure about body language b/c of AS. I told her about my suffering from AS just to let her know that I wasn't ignoring all the messages she was sending thru body language, but that I have hard time: 1) perceiving it in the first place, 2) applying meaning to what I do see.

The summary of my message to her I posted above was a terse, condensed version of what I actually posted. I really don't like indirection and fluffery in language, but I realize the rest of the world does, and I managed to wrap my message to this girl with enough of it that she responded that it explains alot about me. I talk with her more than I do with the others, hence my questioning about whether I should tell the other girls.

I see, that makes sense then. It's good that you told her if you feel that way. Remember that AS is a complex thing to describe, so it was good you used more descriptive language... don't take it for granted that she'll understand it the same way you do. You've had most of your life to understand AS, she only has a couple of sentences to go on. So as long as she's clear on what it is, you should be fine.

LOL, yeah I don't always pronounce words well, so thanks for the heads up. Thank God for Facebook, where I can type what I want to say.

I'm an aspi, I'm married to an NT. The first time we went out, she noticed there was something a little weird about me. But she didn't care. And one thing led to another, and we've been married for 20 years.

She was not my first girl friend, and I was not her first boy friend, and I hate to tell you, but it's a crap shoot!

Some women will screem "eeek, freak!" and some women will say "hmmm, well, does that mean you can't....uh....you know....."

My answer was, always "oh, no. I certainly can. It just means I'm weird sometimes." My wife, who is very much NT answered that one with "we're all weird sometimes."

Honest, I'm not making fun of you or light of the situation. It's rough. It's very rough. But there are millions of nice women in the world (some of them are aspies, some of them are on this board) Put up a notice here (in the right forum...oh, this is the right forum.....)

Wanted, a nice girl in the (whatever area) to go out and have coffee, and maybe get involved later. Aspi girls welcome, encouraged, whatever. I'm an aspi myself, so maybe we've got something in common. What's not to like. I'll buy the coffee."

I mean, you word it, but we all have the same fear (men and women)....that there is no one out there to love me....and it's not true. I know of a lot of Aspies married to Aspies, and a lot of Aspies married to NTs. It's the people, not the affliction. You don't have to be "okay" with being an aspie. I'm not, but I didn't get a choice. And if you're going out with an aspie girl, then when some part of her AS gets in the way, you're in a better position to understand. Yeah, I have lots of examples, but they're also my friends, they don't live on the East Coast (I'm from California originally), and I don't talk about my friends. But take my word for it. It happens.

Good Luck
Beentheredonethat

Well said, btdt!
I've never come out to a potential mate (being only recently Dx'ed), but I did tell a female friend that I felt really close to. She said, "Oh, really? Well I did think you were kinda eccentric--but in a good way" and it didn't alter our friendship at all. She was actually interested in it.

Wait a second! NORMAN BATES said that in his dead mothers voice at the end of "Psycho"!