What is romance?

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Can someone explain to me what romance really is? I have seen references in some threads where romantic attraction is distinguished from sexual attraction. I am asexual and usually avoid relationships altogether. Is romance something I actually could or should look for? Would it even make sense to me?

I feel like a 12-year-old even though I am in my 40's. I never seemed to grow up emotionally beyond that point and probably was slow to even get there. I don't feel or believe in love.

Is there any hope for me? Would going on a date be a bad or good idea? I've been on dates before, but I wonder what is the point.

Feeling romantic or longing for an intimate relationship is something that arises naturally in an individual. Under some circumstances romantic feelings can be encouraged but they cannot be forced. Most adults have a strong urge to be very close physically, sexually, and emotionally to another person. If you don't have those kinds of longings, there's no need to force yourself to date people.

Are you unhappy as you are?

Do you mean with a particular person, or in general? I don't have any urge in general, so there is no incentive for me to try to meet anyone.

It sounds like from what you're saying, romance (and I still don't know what that is) is inextricably tied to sex. If that is the case, I might as well just ignore the whole thing.

I wouldn't say that I'm unhappy in general, but sometimes people say that I should get a boyfriend or get married. There is no way to explain why I don't want to that they would understand, so I guess I should just say "mind your own business" or something like that.

I just want to be sure that what I am doing (or not doing) is the right way for me.

A hypothetical person. And later on (hopefully) a real one.



I think for most people, romance is linked to sex, yes. But there are people who are not interested in sex and still want a life partner. I don't understand that particular urge, but some people here talk about feeling that way.



You could just tell them that you are satisfied with your single life. Some of them won't believe you and will still try to set you up... but maybe some of them will respect what you say.



If you suspect you might be missing out on something and you have the opportunity to try dating or hanging out with a guy, maybe it would be a good experiment to try it out.

Nah. I've decided this stuff is definitely not for me. I have been reading some other threads in this forum, and can't relate to any of the stuff people are saying.

It's like they're speaking in secret code.

Romance can be tied to sex, but it doesn't have to be. I find spending time with partner doing something we both enjoy romantic as we are both in a state where we are in tune with each other. I think being romantic involves exploiting (in a good way) something that you partner likes. If your partner loves cinema, for example, take them to a film you know they'd like or that you both would like. Romance doesn't have to involve huge gestures either, in fact the smaller things in life can be just as effective.

Romance is what the what the general population on average think it is. Ask enough people and you will find out.

I think romance is different for everyone. For some, it may be a romantic candlelight dinner, for others, maybe when you're in a semi-serious relationship, just go out to the movies like you did at first, except with the comfort and love factor in there. For even others, romance might just be cuddling and watching a movie on the couch, or saying i love you, or playing ping pong. It depends on the person really, there are a million different ways to be romantic, cliche' and not, and only some of them work for every person. At the heart of it, I think it means doing something fun and loving that you enjoy together.

That's what I gather anyway, I'm still at a loss with the whole romantic thing myself >_<.

How is that different from friendship?

The best way to explain it would be the Triangular Theory of Love...

LOL


So there really is such a thing as love, with a concrete definition, and everything? I just thought it was a word that they used in songs that really didn't mean anything.

I'll have to look that over. It means changing my ideas of what certain words mean. Ugh, that can be hard.

Too much serotonin in the brain

I didn't mean to post that as a definition, merely one of the possible explanations... love is one of those really annoying things that cannot truly be defined... at least not in scientific terms...

As best I can tell, "Love" is a set of subconscious connections cause a hormone release in the brain in response to stimulus associated with that person. Oxytocin is widely cited in this regard, though it's not the only such hormone. Most people regard the release as pleasant and comfortable. The phrase "warm fuzzy" is sometimes used to describe it.

It's a mixed bag, like any other emotional content.

So, in effect, you can BUY love in pill form?

I like it.

CrushedPentagon, keep in mind I don't know you, just going off what you written. But you sound like your looking for some scentific answer.

Romance is not x2 − x = 0.

Not going to find what your looking for by researching. It's something that can only be expiranced.

Different people have different things they find romantic when they are with someone they have feelings for.