Worried about how my current life looks

Post Reply New Topic

I'm currently feeling a bit insecure about my current life and the impression it might give, I work on a semi steady basis, with my old man in remodeling, considering I plan on becoming a carpenter this makes sense, I’m also going to voc school for a builders license and considering site management or getting a journeymen’s license. That all seems perfectly normal right?

Here’s where I’m worried I Still don’t have a drivers license I never felt any compelling need to drive, and it kind of snuck up on me but I‘m going to start taking classes once winter its over, also I still live with my parents, partly because I’m still trying to get my life In a secure enough position to live on my own.

I'm courteous, a decent conversationalist, pretty smart, and all around well balanced in my personality. so think this would balance all that out, but what you’d think and what is are often very different.

Now I might be being paranoid but I Really get worried about all of this seeming to make me look like some loser or something, I have a plan for my life and I’m starting to get it in motion, and I'm easily capable of living on my own If I can just get my crap together. But I can’t help but be worried Am I Justified in my concerns or am I being paranoid?

Last edited by loudmouth on 05 Feb 2008, 12:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

The only way you can truly be a loser is to let yourself think you are one...

That's just it I'm pretty confident if not kind of excentric, but nedless to say being 21, never having had a date and being at a point in my life where even NTs are still trying to figure what to do with their lives combined kinda makes me nervous. Not so much about my impression of myself but more my seemingly constantly single status.

Thats why this is bothering me it's an annyoing paradox I know worrying will only worsen the problem but I can't help but worry.

Living at home when you're only 21 is NOT strange. Living at home when you're over 30 is. Get a license though, cause it is kinda lame not to have one when you're that old, but that is pretty quick and easy to fix. I guarantee you most people your age have no plan whatsoever (otherwise they wouldn't be majoring in communications), so you're really ahead of the game there. You aren't in an uncommon situation at all, and while it might not be the most exciting place to be, it sounds like you have a plan to get out. So don't panic.

I agree that you sound like you're ahead of the game. If a nice girl finds you to be an attractive person on your own merits, she will not be discouraged by any of the things you have mentioned.

That said, I would honestly find it mildly worrisome that you do not have a driver's license. Even if you do not have regular access to a vehicle, it's a generally recognized symbol of adulthood and responsibilty (and speaks for the fact that you have not had those privileges removed by getting caught making bad decisions like drunk driving). Not every 21 year old with a license is a great guy, but -not- having one could bring up doubts and questions that you could avoid by just taking the time to study and get one.

What? Totally paranoid! Get a driver's license. Work on your career. Ignore what other people think! Work on the things that YOU want! You are only a loser if you don't achieve your own goals.

The part about being able to handle your life, I think your right in the sense that you probably do have what it takes to at least do well and get yourself financially independent (as well as the driving). Though the paranoia your talking about, do you think that might be over some of the executive functioning issues you may have that haven't been put to the test yet?

When I was still in college I was getting real good marks, living with a roommate, and had been driving since I was 18 already - but something still felt like it was really amiss; turned out that I was right on one level, I had an internship where they didn't want to train (or didn't have the people and resources) and I was out of there within a month because I couldn't just hit the ground running; learning and adapting on-the-fly tends to be a big problem for a lot of us. I'd say just pay as much attention as you can to people who know what they're talking about, soak up as much information as you can on the things that worry you, in the end your paranoia over it may be well-founded but the better you can prepare yourself I think the more likely that you won't have as many headaches getting there.

And on the dating thing, don't worry about it so much yet - the things your after should be your first order of business. The dating world is really it own entity, sometimes you'll be able to achieve more than you ever thought you could and it still doesn't make a difference. Just try to make yourself happy, grow in self-assurance as much as you can, and I think even if it takes till your in your 30's that will catch up on its own (though its not something that you'll likely have as much control over as the rest of what you want - just be prepared for that and do all these things for you, not for the ladies).

Not to mention, you never know when you might need to get behind the wheel and drive.

I worry because I can't drive a standard. What if there's ever a situation where I needed to take over??

Not knowing a basic skill like driving isn't a good idea.