Random encounters.

Post Reply New Topic

It seems the only time I can reach out to another person is when they do so first to me. Being a man, this is quite the problem as I'm supposed to be the aggressor I've never asked a girl out on a date, and my earliest memory of love was like 5th grade.

I liked the girl a lot, and she went out of her way to let me know she liked me. I froze up. I said no. All because I was too afraid that she might not accept who I am...it's something I'll never forget, that I'll always regret. I've often wondered since then how different my life would be if I had just said "Yes" and went with it, how just the simple experience would have helped me.

Random encounters now seem to be the only hope I have. My first, and only girlfriend/mother of my child, was a complete fluke. I remember I was looking to find a girlfriend at the time, but any real attempts failed, bad.

A friend of a friend, who I didn't even know, IMed me one day saying I was gay. We started to talk after that, and I ended up doing something I never thought I was able to do. Try. I managed to put all my fears behind me, doing things I had no idea how to do, which scares the crap out of me.

I went to the bus station, I remember some crackheady dude asking for money off me. I asked him where I could buy tickets at, and he pointed out the terminal right in front of me. I gladly gave him the $2 for putting my uncertainty to rest. I bought my ticket, boarded my bus, and played Lateralus on my headphones.

May just go where no ones been. Where I never was, and even though in the end it didn't end up working out for us I'm still so glad I met her though. She was the only person I ever portrayed my heavily guarded inner self to. My only friend. Krista <3

Ahem, lost in nostalgia...back to the point, how am I supposed to find a girl for me if I'm unable to search? If even when I do try a little, I get terrified and back off completely...being alone sucks

I feel ya man I know everytime I went out on a date the women would have to ask or really seem interested. Of course they never really last. I could never find the courage to ask a girl out and then do what I am supposed to do to make it work, women find me to distant, I am a decent guy and can provide for a family, and I try to show that, but women want a guy that is, well... I think more aggressive and physical (in a good way, like affection) and I show 0 affection. I have gotton to the point where we hang out, but then I have no idea how to get around my own fears and inability to read her and do or say what she needs.

I too feel I will be alone for ever, and do envy ya, at least you have a kid, thats my ultimate goal in life. So you proved you can do it I guess. I always considered myself to be really high functioning, but in this dept I am seriously beginning to wonder ya know...?