what should i do?

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this is the situation:

since last october i have been seeing this guy quite casually, but he likes me. i am not used to this, no one has ever liked me in this way before. the problem is i am not 100% sure if i like him in that way as well. when i am with him i definatly do but when i am not i am not so sure. this means everytime i am with this guy he has to start from the beginning, getting my trust to allow him to touch me etc. last time i was with him just the 2 of us was before christmas. since christmas he has asked me out to dinner once but i did not want to go as i was not in a sociable mood so i made up some excuse. a few weeks later we were out as part of a group & someone asked us if we were "going out". as the guy has never officially asked me out i said no we weren't, as i wasnt sure! i think this may have upset him a bit that i denied it so quickly.

since then i have only seen him when we are part of a group. he still looks at me a lot & my NT friend still thinks he likes me. he sent me a text 2 weeks ago which i did not understand so i ignored.

now i think he is not communicating with me or asking me to go out for dinner because he thinks i am not interested. it is not my way to wait to be asked out, i would ask him. the problem is because i am not sure whether i like him in that way or not, would inviting him round to mine for a meal & then changing my mind be fair to him & leading him on. however if i dont do anything then decide i do like him, i may have lost him by that point.

i have never been in the situation where someone has liked me before so any advice on what to do would be greatly appreciated

Yeah thats a tough call, sally. There are plenty of guys out there. Yeah, when a girl doesnt respond back to a guy it means you are not interested. I have a two call rule with girls myself personally. If they dont call or respond back after the second attempt I move on to others that wont waste my time. Your fellaw my be the same way. From I what I read im 95% sure he likes you . (He may be shy to act on his intentions so you might need to add a catalyst like tickle him or tease him) Guys are typically more logical Id say just simply communicate your feelings of the situation with him.

Ask him to participate in a little experiment. Place your hands on either side of his head, betwean the ears and the eyes, and look into his eyes.
What ever you feel when you look into his eyes, go with it. When doubting your emotions for someone, look into their eyes!

Obviously he will think this is rather strange, but don't you worry, you won't have to explain. Either because you don't care about him and him thinking you are strange matters little. Or because you will distract him by asking him out.

Heya,

I've had this problem before (at least sort of). Like, not knowing if I liked a guy who liked me. I think the best thing to do is just sit and think about what exactly about him makes you unsure. When you can define what it is that's holding you back, you can decide if it's something minor that can be overlooked or overcome, or if you really don't think it would work because of that thing.

Probably best not to lead him on in the meantime, just in case... and then there's always the option of being completely open and honest with him (lolol, just kidding!)

It sounds like you like him but you've got conflicting schedules etc... ie: You're not sure if you can commit.

My advice... unless you're very young - under 20
or have had hundreds of people liking you this way - which you've said you haven't,

Go with it.

Stop leading him on and enjoy the relationship.

Believe me, you have no idea how hard it will be in the future to meet someone if you let the good ones slip away now.

What you're doing at the moment is leading someone on, then slapping them away. You'll only hurt eachother if you keep that sort of behaviour up.

As others have said, go with it. It's possible that your feelings of uncertainty are just a desire not to be close to someone, as you might lose them one day. An understandable feeling, but you'll never know unless you try. And upon finally realizing what he meant to you, you might regret not having submitted yourself to him.

When you say you're not sure if you like him in that way, how does that exactly feel?

I say go with it, if you desire to be in a relationship. If you feel good when you are together, well can't get much better than that. And from the guys side, right now this is probably very painful for him.

If you really don't want a relationship, and don't want so much social closeness with anyone... then just drop it.

better to have loved and lost...

I know this is probably a big secret, but guys get hurt being shot down. And being shot down more than once, if he's still interested, it sounds like he's got it bad. Try a date. You can always say no to a 2nd one (I'm probably the world's champ for no 2nd dates, back in the day...