Feeling so horrendously conflicted!

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K, this is the deal.

August last year I went with a group of friends to a beach house to celebrate an 18th. We were there for the weekend. One of my friends had brought her boyfriend. Now I liked the dude, like as a friend, and tended to hang out with him a fair bit. But one night, there was just this look. We were at the dinner table, sitting across from each other, and both looked up at each other at the same moment... I had good dreams that night.

But anyways, I did my best to banish those thoughts because I didn't want to hurt my friend, and I just thought they were the cutest couple in the world, etc. All the same, my friend got insanely jealous and basically I was exiled from the group. Except I still maintained contact with the boyfriend. We hadn't done anything wrong, right?

So last night we head out to the Trop Fest (short film comp). And then on the way back... on the train... he mentions the car ride to the beach house. I was confused. He realised I was confused, left me hanging for a while, then finally enlightened me when I stalked off, miffed that he would keep me in suspense. On the car ride he was flirting with me the whole time, he reveals. I was in the back seat, with him in the middle... and his GF on the other side of him. Now it had been subtle, cuz during the car ride I hadn't picked up on it at all, but clearly not subtle enough. My friend obviously had good reason to be jealous.

Ok, so we've established that my suspicions were confirmed and that look did mean something. Right, here's the dilemma. I like the guy. I really do. But would I be comfortable entering a relationship with him? And would it be worse if it were clandestine, or if I split up my (ex)friend and him? I really liked that friend, and have missed her friendship since. I had at first considered using this information to try and sort of "win" her back, but if I did succeed in that, then nothing could happen between me and the BF, cuz that just wouldn't be cool.

So far he hasn't made any moves as such, but if he does... what should I do?

(sorry if this was just an incredibly long post!)

Just realize what goes around comes around. Obviously this guy will do the same thing to you down the road . Sounds like drama anyways. SO you are around 18ish? I take it? haha You are young! Id say focus on your career and future first before getting tied up in these sort of things. Most young guys just want sex so make sure he not playing on that.

if he flirts with a girl on one side while dating the one on the other, he must have a death wish...
yup...sounds like trouble to me.

Unless your friend is acting/doing something really bad that's driving their relationship downhill, the BF should be ashamed of flirting with you behind her back. Ya you might feel good that he's choosing you over her, but you shouldn't be too trusting of someone that is willing to flirt so liberally right next to his girlfriend, it shows how much he (dis)respects girls; though you know him better than I do, so you're the best one to judge.

Don't - Just DON'T get involved.

Don't bother trying to tell your friend either - if they're in love they won't believe you - or if they do, they'll only get jealous of you.

No matter what you do, you'll hurt your relationship with your friend unless you back off and give them both some space.

The guy is obviously not worth anything if he treats her with such disrespect. Give her time and she'll get rid of him.

well I'd tend to agree with you, except that this girl is a bit.... of a b***h, really. She's nice enough when she's your friend, but I have not spoken to her since last year cuz she can't accept an apology or nothing. it's... complicated.

If he is willing to do that in front of his girlfriend, he is willing to do it in front of you. You can rationalize it anyway you want. If someone is willing to go behind their significant others back, and flirt with someone else, they obviously don't put much thought into their relationships.

Question.

Let's say, you go for it.

Let's say, you end up together.

Can you ever truly be sure that he won't flirt shamelessly with other women in front of you, and then dump you for them, too? And just keep going on like that forever?

Just stay away from it. Deny it if you must. But don't get involved, even if he makes a move.

He sounds gross. I don't care if he's Adonis. He's bad news.