Was I too aggressive?

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Hi,

Last week after a program at a church I talked to a guy who is fairly close to my age; I am 37 and I believe he is 44 or 45. The previous week I had met him outside of the church and we talked for a few minutes. I talked to him after the program was over in the lobby. We seemed to have a good rapport; I suspect he may be somewhere on the autism spectrum. Anyway, I blurted out "Can I get your e-mail address?" He seemed receptive to the idea. He wrote his e-mail down on a piece of paper he tore from the journal we received for the Lenten series. He asked me to write my e-mail address down in his journal so he didn't lose it.

I sent him an e-mail saying I just wanted to say Hi. I mentioned that I enjoyed talking to him and that I hoped things would go well for his new employment situation; he said he is on a thirty day probation time for his job. I closed by saying I would pray for his employment situation and by saying have a good day. He did respond to my e-mail and said that it was good to hear from me. I am just wondering if I was too aggressive. It was raining outside after the church program and the stairs were wet. He held out his hand to me at the bottom of the steps. I don't want to read too much into it but I can't help but wonder if it was a sign of genuine interest or just plain courtesy? Also, he asked where I parked and offered to walk with me to the car. Well, I don't drive but I stupidly blurted out "I didn't drive here. I came here with my friend but we can still walk over there together." So we walked across the street and my friend was talking to someone else and then he said "Have a good night" and walked to his car. So was I too aggressive? Guys, does it sound like he was expressing an interest in me? ARGGG! It's so confusing! I hate not being able to read nonverbal cues!!

ask him if he's interested in you. aggressive can be good by the way. It weeds out people who aren't interested.

Does he seem like the overly timid type? If not then a little agression from the woman can be a good thing, a really good thing actually.
Now it isn't possible to say much from what you have told us, but I doubt he would not only give you his email, but also ask for yours if he wasn't at least a little interested.

Alex also makes a good poing, simply asking him will save you a lot of trouble.

Being assertive is good. I don't see you being agressive, merely assertive that you enjoy his company (so far) Who doesn't like being courted by a socially acceptable person that may become a good friend?

seems like a 'can't lose' situation, especially if you let it unfold on its own .

and the season of spring is almost upon us in the Northern Hemisphere, and that is always a plus for new relationships!

just make sure he isn't giving up meeting new people for lent!

Merle

I agree that your description did not sound agressive to me, but assertive.
I'm always one to encourage communication between people.

I'd say follow Alex's advice.

I don't think you were aggressive at all, you did just right. Confident, but not pushy.

He did reply to your email. Maybe he didn't write more because he's not good with email, or that's just his style. Many people are terse and write one-sentence replies. But really, how much interest do you expect him to show if he barely knows you? I'd say you have a good start, but it's too soon to start drawing conclusions.

I would wait until you see him again in person, and then continue where you left off. I wouldn't ask him flat-out if he's interested, especially if he's shy, that might make things too obligatory. Rather just say you'd like to get to know him better, and ask him out for coffee or something.

Well, here's an update on the was I too aggressive thing. Apparently I wasn't too aggressive because I saw the guy at the church again tonight. It is a series of classes being held for the Lenten season. I had just gone through the line for confession and then went back into the parrish hall to get my coat and stuff and when I was in the doorway he came out. He said Hi and I said Hi back and then he rushed out. I got an e-mail from him saying that it was good to see me for a second tonight. He said that he was rushing home to do his penance. He closed by saying Hope to see you soon. This e-mail was not sent in response to an e-mail I sent him. I sent him an e-mail last week and he responded to it and I didn't send another one since it was just a brief e-mail and it ended with Have a great week.

Sometimes I go out to dinner with a friend or two after the program at the church. So, my question is, should I ask him to join me and my friends? Or should I ask a friend of mine to ask him to join us? Or should I just wait and see what happens? I was really glad to get the e-mail he sent me tonight. He is single and within a reasonable age range for me, and that in and of itself is a miracle.

Do ask! It all sounds very promising.

Perfect! just perfect because if he can't come this week, you can casually just say we do it every week, just come along when you can! no stress at being the only two at dinner. . more folks around to spread out the conversation, more people in common as acquaintances and friends. And then you have a group to go to movies and stuff. . .and you two can get to know each other with out being so self conscious!

it's looking better and better all the time!

just a little laugh aside: (oh, but to rush home to do penance. . .that's got my curiosity up. . ) but I appreciate it's between his Creator and him. . .