The connection between friends and girlfriends.

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I have noticed lately that it is difficult to get a girlfriend if you don't have friends and that it is difficult to make friends if you don't have a girlfriend. I'm not sure how this works with women, but I think it may be an explanation for why NT's seem so afraid to do anything if they don't have at some some friends with them. Kind of a catch-22.

I definitely think you need to understand friends/friendship before trying get a girlfriend. To me it seems like the natural order of things. Before I had real friends I did naively try and peruse relationships, but in hindsight it doesn't make much sense.

I know people do this but it is kind of strange to be in a relationship but not really have friends. Not that I'm saying it is wrong, I just thinking it is odd when I hear people complaining they don't have any friends but they have a girlfriend/boyfriend. I wonder what skills did they use?

I think having friends can be a good thing to go with a relationship. Separate friends and maybe some mutual.

I don't think you need a huge number of friends. I only have a couple of close friends. It isn't the number that matters but being able to reciprocate friendship can help you with relationships.

Everything 0_equals_true said.

If I found a boyfriend, I know I would be tempted to get cut off from my friends, but I shouldn't. If your other half is the only person you socialise with, and especially if you are NOT the only person that they socialise with, they wield so much power over you it's scary. Imagine knowing that if you're relationship ended you'd be completely alone! You'd be totally attached to them, which is not healthy.

Also, friends make you part of a network, they introduce you to their friends, their friends might then introduce you to someone you like. It's a lot easier than having to approach anyone.

And rightly or wrongly, I think girls are scared of lone men in clubs and bars. Is that our flaw? Maybe. I'm happy to acknowledge that it's sadly true.

I think not having a partner actually makes it miles easier to find friends, simply because you are devoting all your energies to it, rather than trying to maintain friendships and a relationship at the same time.

Personally I have no problem keeping friends once I've made them, and I've made some good friends (both my own age and other age groups) at the church that I work at (perhaps because it is a church, and not a fundamentalist one at that, people are more likely to be friends around there...)

Outside of church, though, I don't make that many friends (especially not the type I would want to do stuff with)...

Come to think of it that makes sense. Like my female friend every time she goes out inevitably she gets a text from the other half. What is it this time...something about spending the overdraft on video games and beer then getting upset because the bank has sent him a letter....aw. Then she has to do a paper round to get him out of the s**t.

Frankly it would drive me nuts if a girlfriend was texting for me to come home for no good reason, not long after I've gone out. I only see my friend about once a month these days, used to be every 1-2 weeks. Not much to ask. It is not like they have just started going out they have been together for over 4 years, before I knew her. I made friends with her precisely because she didn't get on with his friends, namely one of them told her to go kill herself. That is water under the bridge now. But I value her friendship, I wouldn't let anyone come between it. I'm serious.