questions about breakups and heartbreak

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so when (someone you're in a relationship with) breaks up with you, then is it rare for the (person you used to be in love with) to help you emotionally cope with the situation? Especially in cases of heartbreak?

Is heartbreak rare among those who break up and remain friends? If those who break up _do_ remain friends, then do they help console each other over the breakup? Or is this rare.

(okay as background info, my ex-girlfriend broke up with me a 2-3 weeks ago. we remained friends for that time period though, so i didn't feel any heartbreak [note this was online]. However, last week she told me that she could never talk to me again and this message left me psychologically devastated. I don't know. I'm kind of especially devastated since I have strong traits that are not valued by society (namely intellectual honesty, obsessiveness, and massive curiosity with respect to some subject areas [mostly academic]). [if you don't value those traits, then it's unlikely that you'll value me]. I also don't trust people very much (I used to trust them more but now have realized that most people don't fundamentally care about you and like to fill up conversations with meaningless jibber just for the sake of continuing the conversation) and I can't stand non-intelligent superficial conversation (unless it's with someone who is *both* intelligent and fairly close to me). So now I'm really mostly alone now (I still have a few friends, but they don't try to console me or anything). I don't know.. I don't synchronize with people very well (and I have Asperger's Syndrome). And I'm not *exceptionally* intelligent in math/science. I'm just good at writing thoughts.

and just wondering, if you've experienced heartbreak, does it tend to significantly lower the chances of re-socializing with the person for life? (she's probably happier without me, but I'm still emotionally attached to her, and will probably remain so for weeks if not months). Is (lack of desire to socialize with the other) more common among those who have *experienced* heartbreak or is it more common among those who have *triggered* heartbreak in another person? And do those who trigger heartbreak frequently feel bad about it? Is it somewhat common for those who trigger it to become nonchalant about it?

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for the record, I may not convince all of you of this, but I don't share interests with a lot of people. I just don't like doing anything with redundant stimuli - some computer games being the exception (I've rarely enjoyed social activities no matter how often I've came to them - I tend to bring my textbook with me to them too). And I'm studying math/science but am not particularly good at the material (for now, it's possible that work ethic may be the bigger problem). I'm good at *thinking* and *writing* - and more in the way of empirical writing about the world. I don't know anymore... if you want to see my writing, it's at http://simfish.wordpress.com/category/insightful/. I'm too heartbroken to write a coherent post right now. I've made my own theories of synchronization and such (very general but very applicable at the same time).

Hey Simfish- sorry to hear about your recent heartbreak. That's always tough.

I'm that girl that always makes herself emotionally available to her ex after break-ups. Partially this is because if I've been in a close, romantic relationship with someone, I will still care very much about their feelings. The other reason is that I will feel a great deal of guilt and responsibility for making them feel miserable- and I will naturally want to try and fix this.

I've come to find that playing therapist to a guy you personally put on the couch is not especially common- most people just want to move on (even if only during the recovery period) when something has fallen apart.

A certain amount of distance can be important to the healing process- especially if you want to someday reform a friendship with this girl where you don't become dependent on her as an outlet for your romantic thoughts or impulses.