Hey, I don't think I shared it here at all, but about three weeks ago I had the chance to start a relationship with a girl named Debbie. So far, despite the AS, it's going very well! I'm kinda hoping that I can help others find hope here by sharing a few things I learned.
One thing that kind of made her nervous is that I tend to be repetitive, and perhaps a bit boring, but so far it hasn't been an issue. The fact that we are even doing stuff together has made us both happy. So far together we've gone to a nice botanical/statue garden, gone to movies, went to see the Ragtime musical, and we had a pleasant Valentine's day gift exchange.
The fact that my wording is almost like straight out of a textbook at times hasn't been a problem. When I first asked her out, well, I'm not sure I want to repeat the line I used, but she thought about it, and accepted anyways. Since then though, I've been able to use a few lines that really touched her.
When she answered yes to me, I was very excited. I had a problem of not always feeling like I wanted the relationship sometimes after that though; part of it was because I had to give up a few special interests, one being my guitar playing. I can almost say I was "in love" with it. I had to learn to give that up a little bit. And in the course of my life, guitar doesn't add up to much. I can say I'd rather have her than my guitar abilities. It feels much easier now. Part of it too is the burden of school, but it's something you have to learn just work through. When you learn to be unselfish, or less self-centered, however you want to say it, it helps.
I had to learn to stop being nervous. Especially emailing, I was never really sure of what she was thinking, how she felt as she wrote the things she did. Many times I assumed she was upset or indifferent towards me; not true. I see how it is now, and for the times I wonder what she's thinking, I trust her that she does like me, thinks well of me, and she's not angry with me.
It's a matter of finding the right girl, one who will accept you for who you are. At the same time, you have to accept her for who she is, and be willing to communicate, and correct your own faults and the things that annoy each other. It's not AS vs. NT; it's about making something work. Yeah we are very different, but so far it doesn't really matter.
Just kinda hoping this helps people here.
25 Feb 2008, 9:22 pm
