Letting someone know about my disability

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When's the right time in an online exchange to mention that I have a autism-spectrum disorder during an online-dating exchange? I think they need to hear me speak well on the phone beforehand (as I can be a pretty good speaker if I want). If I meet up with them, they're going to at least notice some of the tics. Maybe its best to just not even mention it, but I dunno. I suppose its whenever I feel comfortable doing so. Anyone get rejected from one of these? I believe I'm going to get especially hurt at this point with this person if I meet them and they reject me based on my subtle wierdness.

whatever you do do

you have to know that if the person cant accept you for who you are then you dont need that person

so the only problem in a situation with a person that might accept you for who you are might be scared off or unwilling to REALLY get to know you bc of autism would be that they have preconception of problems or difficulties that you might cause to the person in the process

so maybe work into by asking what they know about autism? see how comfortable they are on the topic itself

if they seem to be very ignorant you can then continue by informing them properly about their misconceptions

I think it depends on whether any of the symptoms you have would cause any problems during dating, like any issues with conversation or reading body language may - depending on the severity. I'd say if you can get through a few dates first then bring it up when you're comfortable.

I'm no expert though, I'm wondering the same thing about someone I'm seeing. I do have noticable issues though!

I don't usually tell anyone I'm an Aspie until I really know them well. Instead, I tend to give specifics such as "I'm a very literal person and have a hard time picking-up on social cues." etc. It's honest and as 99.99% of the public doesn't know what AS is, it helps to frame how I'm different in a way that the other person can understand.

Honestly, it depends on the person. I am starting to see someone, and in my particuliar situation, I chose to tell her straight up front. Told her all my quirks and what not. She had "concerns" but didn't run screaming for the hills. However, I had the feeling she could handle it, and turned out I was correct. If she has issues with certain things related to your brand of AS, then you might tell her a particuliar trait. If she seems to have to take time to adjust to that, then it'd be best to dribble indiviual quirks out, until she has enough of them to where AS is just a convient label. If she instead says "Oh, cool, well I do this...." Well, basically you can dribble faster. But honestly most people don't know about AS, and so it can actually be a good way for them to get to know you. In other words, you could find a list of traits and explain how each one applies or does not apply to you.

The problem with this, is habits within any relationship really start on day one. It can be ackward and/or difficult to go back, and say something needs to be changed to better deal with an AS trait (or anything else for that matter). This is most especially true for communication. OP says he good at speaking, but if, for instance, he's not good at expressing emotions, then that is something that can be addressed early on. Unfortunatly, it's always an ackward balance between seeming to try to rush things and putting those things in place as early as possible.

I wouldn't. You can paraphrase your difficulties as themselves but don't give them a label and in going that way reference them mildly (ie. try to phrase them in a context that won't make it look immature or weak). I agree with most of what was said, even if they accept you for who you are - the emotional 'damage goods' trigger that comes from the word 'autism', 'aspergers', or anything like that is a reaction that they can't help and likely can't recover from easily. If they're in love with you and things are going real stable - and they already have a sense of you without the label and are still ok, that's when its a 50/50.

This sounds about right. She used geek to geek dot com so she must already realize what dating pool she's going to be pulling out of. My worst trait in dealing with the opposite sex is staring and talking to myself. And I've been socializing SO much more lately, its boosting my confidence (I'm in like 3 DnD games and I hang out at a dorm so dating is just another step and if I get hurt I know how to deal with the pain)

That's the spirit! Let me tell you, the grass is always greener on the other side. I dated from ages 19 to 29, and at the time I viewed dating as very difficult and disheartening. I met "Ms. Right" when I was 27 and married her when I was 29. Nothing against her, but I swear I was a little depressed for a few years after marriage because of all things, I missed the excitement, possibility, and challenge of dating!! !
The bottom lie is that it all may seem very challenging now, but later on in your life you will look back and realize how enjoyable it all was.