Have you ever loved someone so deeply...

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...that you can't stay with them?

That being close to them is agony?

That thinking about them fills you with mortal terror?

Just to breathe, to be free, you must empty your mind and run from them?

As if it is impossible to live and to feel...?

Because;

To see the stars we must stare into that dark abyss...

Hmm, not sure. I've loved someone so much that I was afraid to be with them, for the simple fear of it's inevitable end. Subconscious acts of the relationship's self-destruction would follow.
A matter of opinion, I guess. You have to stare off into the stars...and I don't see abyss, I see a never ending future of the unknown. Which I guess, is still pretty scary.

Hmmm... Just maybe. Actually, I'm not sure about that kind of stuff. I just sort of go with the flow, sort of. It all really confuses me.

I am familiar with that feeling, too, although it was not specifically what I was talking about. I don't even fully understand this, myself; and it would be impossible to explain.

thats pretty much how i felt when i believed in god

in some ways its like how i am with myself

I had the opposite. I wanted to be friends forever. I was addicted to the possitive feedback from that person that I would have done anything to keep it comming. Boy did loosing that friend teach me a lesson. I had been literaly starving for acceptance all through my youth, so of course I was stupid and ignorant of her needs.

I've been in that position before...

No not really, I don't have a problem being or doing things with a person of my affection. Part of the reason why I like certain people so much is they understand and appreciate my natural self... and I can communicate with them.

The real pain comes from the knots my mind goes through not knowing what to do or say to gain their affections. Over analyzing what I should do, even when I know the very act of over analyzing hurts my chances.

But also knowing that acting on pure instinct, what I innately feel is what I should do hasn't worked for me either.

Analogy time: it's like I'm going on a trip with the wrong map and a compass that points north when I'm going east. Somehow you're supposed to learn survival techniques along the way, but I must have been distracted during that lesson...

Like your mind and emotions are summersaulting a little too deep into their soul maybe?

I've loved someone, yet we were so far away that it was torture. We couldn't stay together.

...Nods quietly in full understanding...

That, yes.


Also, I've loved so deeply before, that I have sealed myself away from the beloved at the price of great pain, to protect those people from being hurt.

How would sealing yourself away from someone you love benefit them? If the love was unrequitied, I understand, but if they reciprocate, not expressing your love for them would hurt them more...

It could be unrequited or impractical or impossible or dishonorable.

People are funny creatures. Once I loved a boy who loved me back but he was making some poor decisions (as was I) and I didn't feel it would be wise to be together. That's similar to unrequited love, but worse, I think. My presence as a friend began interfering with his relationship with his girlfriend and was helping him keep the impression that "maybe someday..."

I don't know for sure if he's better off now that I'm gone. I like to think so. Based on my own feelings and some observations I've made from far away, I suspect that he doesn't feel much differently from before in terms of pain but I think his relationship is better. That's enough for me. Any little bit of happiness for them makes it all worthwhile. I'll always love him. Bonds like that one just don't break.

Sorry to double-post, but...

I know what you mean. I do. But I think I almost love that black expanse as much as the stars that adorn it.

When twoshots develops romantic emotions, they tend to be terribly overwhelming - so the symptoms of "love" seem coincident always with a situation in which he cannot endure the thought of the object.

I do not see how a love that is anything less could even register on me. Ecstasy & agony - neither without the other, and without either... it differs very little from the everyday.