Where would you suggest taking someone with Aspergers?

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Where is the place that you would feel the most comfortable?

comfortable for what?

I enjoy eating at Denny's.

Yeah, this presents a problem for me when trying to get to know a woman better. I really need a significant amount of isolation and privacy in order to interact in a meaningful way with someone I hardly know, just me and the other person. Women, understandably, like to meet men they hardly know in highly public places. I think this contributes to the fact that I sometimes come off as "creepy."

I would imagine that it would depend on each individual's tastes.

The great date topic

Library. Quiet, yet public. Full of knowledge. If they leave, you can read or use the computer. No love lost there.

1) Some place that doesn't require dressing up or conforming to certain social standards.
2) Some kind of activity that's a little more structured in nature is also good

For example, if he is into bowling, try a bowling alley... you're not expected to dress up beyond street clothes in most places and a game of bowling is something that an aspie can follow...

Home, definitely

I've been putting some thought into this myself lately, since the social norms of dinner and a movie are stupid. For literal togther dates, my best idea so far (for anyone that does not have Social Phobia) is a grocery store. First, you get your shopping done, whether it bombs or not . But mostly, you can learn so much about a person from how they shop, from the type of grocery list they make to whether they shop for brand names or not... My other idea is a book store. Being a store, it seems more natural to me to move around, pull the books down, that sort of thing, than with a library. Libraries are too *shhh* and don't touch kind of feel.

But in today's society we put too much emphasis on meeting in person. I mean which would be better, going to some crowded noisy restaurant together, or putting your phone on speaker, and cooking the same meal together in the safety of your own kitchens, while talking to each other? Or sitting in a darkened packed room, with the noise up way to high, or sitting in on your own couch on the phone watching the same movie, like in When Harry Met Sally? There's also the internet. I have never heard of anyone going on a virtual date, unless they met in a game to begin with, but seems both people playing an immersive game like WoW together.... well, a pay-for game would be more expensive than a traditional date, but... Or it doesn't have to be a structured thing like a game, but just sitting on the phone while both browsing some website, like the Louve's website.

Some excellent "outside the box" ideas! (I've heard a rumor that there's a box.)

meeting in person is still a much more fulfilling experience than phone or online. Phone can only transmit sound, and internet can only transmit text (with possiblities for aound and/or video if you set it up right). Being with the person, on the other hand, stimulates all of the senses, not just one or two, and having been in said positions before, I can say from experience that it feels so much more fulfilling to be with a person you love, rather than just sending messages online. (Of course, if you have some sensory integration issues, it may be safer to try something over the internet first...)

That being said, I completely agree with the "dinner and a movie is too cliche" thing... I would probably try something else to start with...

What I don't understand is why you say things like "go to a grocery store so you can find out what she shops for". I tend to only try and date women that I already know (which conflicts with the NT "friend zone" construct, but that's a stupid idea anyway, and not all women utilize it), so trying to "get to know them" over a date seems redundant...

There is a box. My cat likes to play in it occasionally.

Obviously I don't mean the virtual dates as replacements for "normal" in person dates, but for us weirdos, they can help bridge the gap between getting to know someone and a first meet. Seems that's a typical trait for AS, a total aversion to blind- or nearly-blind-dates. Anyrate, there are times when you might just not want to be up to the stress and such of prepping and getting in the car and the performance anxieties of a regular date. There are other options to just chatting it up on the phone, which can be espcially helpful if you're having a quiet day . Less stress to talk, if you're both watching a movie, but still have a great source of topics from watching the same movie. MST3K style date . Try that in the theatre, and see how much popcorn you'll be wearing.

For the grocery store, frankly there's a lot of guys who have no clue how there wives shop. This would actually be more of a second or even third/forth date, though, since what you shop for is kinda intamate. But things that may be telling are like if they have an organized list, no list, whether it's on an evnelope or it's own sheet... do they go straight in for what's on the list, or is the list is just a guide... do they impulse buy... Whether they do brand names, comparision shop on price, do they read the labels... whether they go for prepared foods, health foods, fresh foods... And those are just the obvious things. I think you could really get to know someone from watching them shop. Kinda worrying really, considering all those security cameras . As a third or forth date, grocery shopping would also be an excellent lead-in to cooking together... Making the entire meal from planning to cooking together.

My bunnies like boxes too....
I'm all for the museum, especially if its a local museum you might not have checked out, or a new exhibit at another museum...less need for eye contact, and plenty of things to talk about. Public, but quiet...

I've always wanted a girl who would go to the arcade with me

This peson I and know each other pretty well. We have talked on the computer for almost a year. I've also been around them a few times and talked with them over the phone several times. We have a few things planned to do this summer, but I would like to do something with them in April. I want it to be something fun and different, but not something social that would make them feel uncomfortable. They have been diagnosed with Aspergers and avoid anything social at all cost. I care deeply about this person, but so far they prefer us to be just friends. They have not been in a relationship in years and had a few very bad experiences with women before that.

This person knows exactly how I feel about him. (I don't have a problem with telling a person my feelings and this has helped with this situtation.) They know I've read everything on Aspergers that I can get my hands on and they know I accept them just as they are. It is only in the last two months that they have decided that they will go places with me. And that's the reason that I want it to be as comfortable for them as possible. It's important to me that they have fun and want to do things again.

This person is a history buff. He doesn't play video games or any sports. And he spends every spare moment he has in the library already. I plan on us going out to eat somewhere, but after that what would be a good place? My house is not a option, since I live with my parents at this time.

You could go to a park that is not too busy.

Or if he likes history a museum.

Anyway if you go for a meal, etc just focus on that. Then decide what you are going to do after.