Trying to ask a girl out but I think I might have a hurtle

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Praetor2379
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16 Mar 2008, 3:28 pm

A girl I met in September I would like to go out with. She is one of the few girls that I have gotten to know well enough that I think if I asked her out she would say yes. I would like to get wrongplanet.net suggestions as to whether or not she likes me in a romantic way. Some of my evidence is mundane, but I'll tell it all so you can get a very good picture. The pencil sharpner that was in our class was a piece of crap, and I happened to carry around with me a very good one. Everyday she would ask me to borrow it, and if i took awhile to find it (as the sharpner fell into the vass vacuum of my large napsack) she would kindly say, "Take your time, buddy, no worries". I often would talk to her or ask her questions for help on homework, and everytime she would say, "Hey (my name) buddy." On several occassions she would pass me and rub my hair back and forth, something I have seen done between other men and women, and that has happened to me once before. One day I asked her if she could draw a picture for me, because she's a very talented artist. On the picture, was my name, an object representing my pencil sharpner, and a heart. I've recently started talking to hero on facebook. I asked her if she had a boyfriend and said no. I asked her why, and she said it was "complicated". I asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime and in respeonce she asked me if I still had the picture she drew me. Now here's the problem, I threw the picture out awhile ago. Why would she ask me if I still have it, and is it worth it to ask her out?


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gwenevyn
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16 Mar 2008, 3:33 pm

My hunch is that she has been trying to get your romantic attention for some time and you let her down by being too slow to catch on.

Why did you throw away the drawing?


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Praetor2379
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16 Mar 2008, 3:36 pm

gwenevyn wrote:
My hunch is that she has been trying to get your romantic attention for some time and you let her down by being too slow to catch on.

Why did you throw away the drawing?


I didn't think I would be in contact with her again, and I was a little afraid my parents would find it and put me in an embarrassing situation. Oh I should add this too. As a joke some people were asking me if I would go out with blah blah in the class. She chimed in and asked my If I would go to coffee with her (in a joking way) and I said yes. She said "ohhh thank you" and smiled.


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Complex
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16 Mar 2008, 3:38 pm

This is one of the few instances I've come across so far on WP where I can emphatically say GO FOR IT!! ! All the signs are there. Dude, she has probably been waiting quite a while for you to get it. She asked you if you still had the picture because she wants you to look at it and connect the dots. You should come up with a plausible white-lie as to why you still don't have it and ask her to draw you a new one which you should keep. Ask her to do something with you AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! You can do it over Facebook if you are nervous but don't let this one pass you by!



gwenevyn
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16 Mar 2008, 4:35 pm

The white lie is tempting. I can't recommend it though. People's tolerance for the sort of thing varies. Personally, my trust for someone is severely damaged with every tiniest lie I uncover. These things often come back to bite you in the butt.

I think you should just say you don't have it. She might not even ask why. If she does ask, tell her the truth, immediately followed with an explanation of how much you wish you hadn't and how much you missed her. Girls like it when you're willing to be a little embarrassed for the sake of being true to your moral code. It shows character.

I agree that you should ask her to do some specific activity ASAP. (Coffee, a movie, whatever.)


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Complex
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16 Mar 2008, 4:44 pm

gwenevyn,
I can't say I disagree with you. I was just concerned for the girl's feelings. Us Aspies often overlook feelings. I have found in situations like these society deems a white lie as acceptable. One way or another though, he is going to have to tell her he doesn't have it. Well Praetor, it's a judgment call, but I have to say that in my short time here I have found gwenevyn's advice to always be sound.



gwenevyn
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16 Mar 2008, 4:53 pm

To be fair, I should note that I have been called "over-sensitive" about white lies. I don't even want to be lied to in order to cover up plans for a surprise party, for instance. Most people think I'm being ridiculous about that... so I think I might be a bit quirky in my zero tolerance approach. :)


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Praetor2379
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16 Mar 2008, 6:16 pm

Thanks for your advice. I will tell her I no longer have it, but if we meet again I'll ask her to draw me a new one. Your all sure the signs are promosing?


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Complex
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16 Mar 2008, 6:18 pm

Praetor2379 wrote:
Thanks for your advice. I will tell her I no longer have it, but if we meet again I'll ask her to draw me a new one. Your all sure the signs are promosing?


There is no such thing in life as "a sure thing," but this is by far the closest I've seen.

What the hell are you still doing here anyway? Get on Facebook and ask her to participate with you in an activity immediately!! !



zee
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16 Mar 2008, 6:28 pm

Complex wrote:
Praetor2379 wrote:
Thanks for your advice. I will tell her I no longer have it, but if we meet again I'll ask her to draw me a new one. Your all sure the signs are promosing?


There is no such thing in life as "a sure thing," but this is by far the closest I've seen.

What the hell are you still doing here anyway? Get on Facebook and ask her to participate with you in an activity immediately!! !


Yeah, I agree. It looks like she likes you, why not ask her out to coffee or something? :wink:



Praetor2379
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16 Mar 2008, 6:37 pm

zee wrote:
Complex wrote:
Praetor2379 wrote:
Thanks for your advice. I will tell her I no longer have it, but if we meet again I'll ask her to draw me a new one. Your all sure the signs are promosing?


There is no such thing in life as "a sure thing," but this is by far the closest I've seen.

What the hell are you still doing here anyway? Get on Facebook and ask her to participate with you in an activity immediately!! !


Yeah, I agree. It looks like she likes you, why not ask her out to coffee or something? :wink:


Luckily, zee, this isn't the same woman I talked about in my last thread.


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Praetor2379
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16 Mar 2008, 6:38 pm

Complex wrote:
Praetor2379 wrote:
Thanks for your advice. I will tell her I no longer have it, but if we meet again I'll ask her to draw me a new one. Your all sure the signs are promosing?


There is no such thing in life as "a sure thing," but this is by far the closest I've seen.

What the hell are you still doing here anyway? Get on Facebook and ask her to participate with you in an activity immediately!! !


I have asked her if she wanted to hang out, and she replied asking me if I stil had the picture.


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gwenevyn
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16 Mar 2008, 6:45 pm

"Unfortunately I don't. :( It's really too bad, too, because you're a great artist.

What would you say to [doing xyz activity] with me on [specific date and time]? It has been way too long since I've seen you."


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Praetor2379
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16 Mar 2008, 6:53 pm

gwenevyn wrote:
"Unfortunately I don't. :( It's really too bad, too, because you're a great artist.

What would you say to [doing xyz activity] with me on [specific date and time]? It has been way too long since I've seen you."


K, tnx. I am a little unsure of myself because I dont know what she'll think or other ppl about us hanging out.


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gwenevyn
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16 Mar 2008, 6:57 pm

Well.... if I understand the situation correctly, if we're wrong about her feelings and she says "no way", at least you don't have to see her all the time, right? :)

Will everybody be able to see a message like that, on Facebook, or just her? If there's a way to make that sort of reply privately, I'd do it if I were you.


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Praetor2379
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16 Mar 2008, 6:58 pm

gwenevyn wrote:
Well.... if I understand the situation correctly, if we're wrong about her feelings and she says "no way", at least you don't have to see her all the time, right? :)

Will everybody be able to see a message like that, on Facebook, or just her? If there's a way to make that sort of reply privately, I'd do it if I were you.


Okay/


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