Making the first move

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Is it upsetting to any other men that we have to get up and do all the work to show a woman that we like her?

Here are just a few considerations we have to make:

1. Whether or not she already has a boyfriend (we usually have to ask).

2. Whether or not her boyfriend will appear later and be mean to us, on the basis of both our individual personality and our decision to ask.

3. The appropriate level of acquaintence needed to ask whether or not she has a boyfriend.

4. The appropriate level of interest she must show in us before we may ask.

5. Whether it would be appropriate to request five hours of her time in the form of a date, taking into consideration our own personalities and life circumstances and the chances that these factors will influence her satisfaction on the date.

Why can't men and women simultaneously show interest in each other? Why does the man have to make the first move? Give me an honest, reasonable answer.

The good news is that I finally have a job. The bad news is that I'm constantly hearing voices that call me names. Is it appropriate for a man who constantly hears voices in his head calling him names to ask a woman out?

Right now, I'm hearing a voice that says, "Psychopaaaaath," just over and over. God, it has to be the most annoying thing I've ever heard. We use the word to refer to people whose behavior is chronically immoral. I feed the homeless and pick up trash. Why should I have to hear that?

Not to mention that antipsychotics would kill my sex drive.

I feel so insulted right now.

Because they are sheeple; they like to fantasize about gender equality or give it lip-service but they don't have the guts nor the brains to actually do something in that direction.
Women are pretty comfortable as things are and men who don't comply with this crap are called cowards and losers and because of that they don't get sex. . . nor love. How ironic!
There really isn't a reason. Those who support it are the kind of people that say "things are the way they are and because I comply with them even though they are humiliting and unfair - either because I have no brains or no spine - then you should too".

The day I got flamed the most at a forum was when my ex and I made a thread about our relationship and how she made the first move and how all the Alpha Male talk had been proven to be crap. Loners said we just wanted to make them jealous and the typical love-doctors showed their true colors once more by calling her "b***h" and making threads for the sheer purpose of mocking us; she even received threatening pms and I lost all my "friends" from that forum. It was worth it.
That said, she wasn't even one in the many millions inhabitants in my country - she happened to be one person on the other side of the planet; so hard to find she had been. . .
So. . . extrapolating. . . I'll meet someone like her again in like. . . 20 more years - and people will be angry again as the mainstream way of going about this is crap and, at heart, they know it causes them a lot of pain.

If I'm retching (throwing up) and hearing a female voice in my head say I hate you, Scott Hoagie Sandwich over and over again, then I think there might be a problem with not having a girlfriend.

I make the first move nowadays, but no one is interested in me. And the one woman I am currently interested in does not want a relationship with anybody right now.

I think that women do tend to attempt to show their interest non-verbally, but of course we have trouble picking up on it. That said, I wish things were more equal. It seems that women don't have as much motivation to not be shy, because if the guy with difficulty communicating doesn't make a move, the next guy who's more adroit will. They just have to put themselves out there, and we're supposed to do the work.

or so she says.

She's very busy with school right now.

This thread is silly, girls tell us how to act. If your expecting her to come up and say hey I like you, will you ask me out then you will be disappointed. You have to read nonvberal clues.. and this is very hard to see if a girl is just being nice or if she would mind if you asked her out or not.

Yeah, it's very hard, I can't read those nonverbal clues. No, it would be silly for someone to say "I like you, will you ask me out". You don't ask someone to ask you a question. If you want it, you ask the question yourself. What we are saying is that the unwritten rule is that it has to be the guy who does the asking, while it would seem better for everyone if there were no such requirements based on gender.

that's what the girl I asked out said too and she starting dating another guy a few weeks later.

Yeah, girls generally make up some excuse like that so that they feel better, as if they didn't reject you, they had an excuse. One time a friend of mine asked a girl for her number, and she said that she didn't have a phone!

I agree totally. I get that too, although it's more like an evil little gremlin sitting on my shoulder and perpetually pouring poison into my ear about how useless I am. That doesn't really do my self-confidence any good whatsoever...

One time there was a girl i was trying to ask out (actually the second time I made any attempt with her) and she said she had to go into the city (just for reference NYC is about 30 mins away from where I live in good traffic)...

My first girlfriend asked me out. My third made the first move, and I wasn't even the dominant partner for any of the relationship. It is a different society we live in now, it doesn't always have to be the man.

However if no woman is coming up to ask you out - bro, if you want a relationship, then you've got to put the effort in.

It's not meant to be hard work to be asking a girl out, you're meant to enjoy the chase. A relationship or dating someone is an experience in itself, not just a means to an end.

What I mean is that her status for at least about the next 6 months is single, but not looking.

Everyone who has the same interests as me is either (a) single, but not looking, or (b) already in a relationship.

I actually got this girls number by handing her my phone and saying "Put your number in my phone"