Why Is It Considered Wrong?

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I am an older Aspie woman who finds herself frequently being attracted to younger men. I don't deliberately decide to do so, it's just that often, when I find myself being attracted, someone points out that the male in question is younger than me. And when they do point this out, there are definite moral overtones to it. For instance, I was discussing my latest interest, whom I learned was much younger than I. The person I was discussing it with, said "But he's really young!" He is an adult, as far as I am concerned, and I have always had trouble being able to guess a male's age. It isn't like I am attracted to teens, or people who are barely legal. Yet I feel that I am expected to be ashamed or something.

I have a hard time feeling like my age, plus I look at least 20 years younger than I am, too!

Exactly why is it considered wrong, in your opinion? (I'm talking about men of 25 years of age or more.) No moralizing, please. I probably wouldn't get it anyway.

Do you connect with these people in other ways, age issue aside? I feel that would be the more important thing.

I married for years, when I became single I noticed all the guys I found attractive were much younger. I assume this is because that was the age I had dated last.

I've seen relationships work out well with the guy even 15 years younger.

It's double standard, nobody thinks anything of it of an older guy dates young women.

Yes. The guy I am talking about is someone who comes to my meet-up group. I really like his personality, and the things he has to say. I only found out his age months later.

That's very good. I wish you the best of luck.

I agree, the age thing is a double standard. I have experienced frustration of not knowing how to deal with others' hang-ups of unknown origin. Could have been age, could have been religion, I don't know, whatever. Why do you care if someone points out that a guy is younger? There's nothing immoral if you're both adults. Take responsibility and control, because if you let other people tell you who you can't date, and this causes you to be unhappy, then you'll have nobody but yourself to blame for that.

Because people who moralize are incapable of seeing anything as right.

It's not wierd at all I was attracted to a woman 6 years my senior and generally am attracted to women up to 8 years older than me or 4 years younger so idont factor age in either was as long as the aren't over 8 years either way. (in future referance in the case of younger ages)

It's considered wrong by other people because you are rocking the cradle, he was a baby when you were possibly a teen or something. They see him as a baby and you as a teen sorta thing. And women are supposed to be mature, more mature than men. Old men are still horny little boys, excusing them for going after young women. So it's taboo for a mature woman to go after a much more immature man.

A lot of people also consider it wrong to fall in love with a step-sibling who has no blood relation. They still look at them like brother and sister even though they do not share a parent and are not blood related. So it's taboo to marry a step-sibling because it has brother or sister in the title.

Quite a few people also believe it's wrong to mix cultures and races. It's not so taboo anymore though.

Their opinions don't matter though, there are people who have opposing opinions on all of the above issues. Each side is right for itself. If you have a problem with it, don't do it. If you don't have a problem with, and there's nothing inherently wrong with it, go for it.

If the person you like is legal, I don't see what the problem is whatsoever.

Well there's certainly nothing *wrong* with it Legally, but you do raise an interesting question hartzofspace. I too wish I knew why its such a cultural taboo to be Cougar.

Maybe it just more ways to enforce the double standard, as zghost mentioned. I only started to feel uncomfortable about it after at least three women, one of them my counselor, said he was too young. My counselor even said he was a "baby." I don't think 28 is a baby. It's past the quarter century mark.

Been there, done that, and may I add, it's a lot harder when you are a gay male.

In what way is it harder?

Define old. What's your age?

What the hell kind of a counsellor gives you that kind of 'advice'? Just tell me I hated my mommy and piss off!

Honey, as far as I'm concerned, it's down to you to prove to these people that they're wrong. If you like him and he likes you, and you make each other happy, then to hell with anybody else. Prove to them that it's not just some boy-toy thing by making it last, and not just using him as a trophy (not that you would) but doing everything you normally would in a relationship. It's not like he's my age, and he's going to drop some giant faux-pa at some fancy dinner, is it?