Dating wisdom only belongs to socially gifted

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Don’t you feel that some dating wisdom only belongs to socially gifted? That’s what I would believe if I was to believe most people. I would also believe that if they didn’t have the social gift that they had, they still will do well in regards to dating. Which most probably isn’t the case?

There is all this emphasis about confidence and less on ability. There is no scientific explanation why nature would give you lack of confidence with out any apparent trade offs. Confidence without ability is hard to maintain especially when one doesn’t relate to 95% of woman and conversation runs dry.

Which reminds me, there are women out there who I can relate to as far as interests go, I know that. Doesnt make a difference. For example, I met an 18 year old on myspace recently, and after the first day of talking, she posted a bulletin claiming that she was 17 and not looking for dates, even though her profile clearly said she is 18 and that shes "here for dating". She liked all the things that I did, I never know what I do wrong, have no idea what to change, nothing to work with. Even though Im the NICEST person, AND attractive. Sometimes I think that my new friends dont even like me anymore. But then, maybe Im just being paranoid, I have a reason to be though... Nothing good has ever lasted long enough to matter in my life. Im guessing its the same situation with all aspies though. Im numb from harsh treatment, it doesnt even bother me anymore (not that it happens anymore either). However I still cant get over the fact of how lonely I am, in a romantic way. Ive even reached the point to questioning what the purpose is to exist among humans when not a single one will ever be interested in falling in love with me, and continue to do so. I wish I can be numb to this kind of burden... But I just cant. It drags on me so much that its even starting to annoy me... Like.. Goddamn, why cant I be concerned with something better? Not being wanted has always been my biggest pain in my life... Isnt there anything I can do??
I mean, if anyone bothered to read my post anyway I dunno..

That’s how I feel. It is them and me and it never becomes an us. In reality a can probably live without someone loving me, but I cannot with this void of loneliness. I surely would not be here if it wasn’t for my Liz. I met her on holiday she lives so far away though and her life is to complicated to make a relationship happen as yet. Her wanting a relationship with me makes me believe that it is possible that NT can love me.

As far as advice, try watching some youtube dating advice and consider meditation and NLP. The way I survive is to concentrate productive activities. Activities that will give you contact with the opposite sex or indirectly improve your chances. I generally don’t waste time with TV or computer games. I am poor so I don’t like to wasn’t money on such activities especially if the cost loads.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt60645.html

I question that experience always leads to wisdom. Some people be very experienced, but they only know what is in their capacity to know. Also these skills are inherent to people that are socially gifted. I doubt they are are aware of everything they are doing right. I think there is quite a lot to be learned from failure and rejection. I know I have learn from that.

I was thinking about this link.

One thing that NTs don't realise that confidence often correlates with ability.
I am the dogs bullock an programming but because they think I am as not good as I think I am they think I am over confident in that regards


I think they are a right bunch of tossers, I tell thee.

Don't I know it. I used to think I could date without having to be social as an NT, and look where it got me, nowhere

Not that I don't socialize, I just socialize differently. But when I take that risk, I think they assume I just got out of a funny farm. I don't know, I can't really read men.

What we need is exercises one can practice every day that will make the task of socialising easier.

If one was to learn to punch brease block. One can simply practice untill it become easier. This is synonimus with practice socialising by just going out there and practicing.

My approach to learning how punching brease blocks is to make sure you are strong enough. This would require doing the correct weight training exercises correct dieting and the monitoring of progresss and requiring enough sleep. And because punching blocks is a mind game, learning tie-chi or meditation would also help.

This approach might be long winded by those who have the capability to break those blocks by practicing for a week or two. But this approach would be the only answer for those who would never have enough strength to be able to break those blocks.

If you want to punch breeze block then you need to do iron fist training. But really there is no point to punching breeze blocks other than entertainment value. Those that martial artist who did these tricks in china/hong kong (and the mostly are tricks) did it in order to urn a living from their art, they do require real martial arts skill to to do the trick however.

My assumption is that Iron Fist Training is only effective if one has acceptable level of strength. The same way that socialising techniques are only effective if one has a acceptable level of social skills to start with.

Pruce Lee took a comprehensive approach believing that conditioning the body( and mind) was as important as the martial arts itself. Being punch in the gut a thousand times through experience is not as effective Pruce Lee rock hard ab training as a way to stengthen the abs.
. Where are the social skills equivalent?

Well first off iron fist training isn't really about punching breeze blocks. A master might *occasionally* demonstrate breaking a hard object at a short distance however the Chinese are not really into doing that other than special occasions, apart from the 'vagabonds' who did it to make a living while they practiced their art. You get more of that in Korea and other places.

Iron fist isn't primarily about muscle strength but I will get on to that later. It is conditioning of the bone. Scientifically it is a gradual process to increase the density of the bone in that area. You don't need someone to hit you to know they have done iron fist. You just have to hold their fist it will be solid.

Like I said the primary aim of iron fist isn't actually to break hard objects. The body moves and is also quite elastic. This can cause a strike to buckle and/or be deflected, and especially after a while it may take its toll. Iron fist makes the wrist and forearm stronger and more solid on impact, and more likely to penetrate. It also trains accuracy and speed. It is also used to use just the finger for emergency techniques, which would normally be too weak. Relaxation and accuracy are just as important as muscle tension. You need to be able to turn them both on and off when you want to. This will enable you to generate power at much shorter distances. The physical reason for this is muscles work in pairs. This means that the back muscle will always oppose to some extent. In the case of a punch the bicep can take up to 30% of the power off. A loaded punch is only effective from the right distance and after it has happens it needs to be re-cocked. So really these are a lot slower than centre line/chain punches. So unless you are mike tyson they won't effective at all distances. The aim of relaxation it to not apply most of the opposing force as much, just by focusing on moving the joint (in this case the elbow), then applying the tension right at the end when you need it.

These are some Sifu Samuel Kwok demonstrations of iron fist/one inch punch.
[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=bg-4Ii1RYIE[/youtube]
[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=iLR9VINPCkM[/youtube]
Notice that the blocks are not held stiff they are hanging from a wire, and he talks about relaxation and applying the tension at the last split second.



Bruce lee studied Wing Chun. However his physique that he trained on was not advantageous for fighting however. He had ripped abs and biceps to look good in the movies. He knew this would make things more difficult, that is testament to just how good he was that he actually put himself at a disadvantage. He used those electrical pulse things that contract your abs. Those are not at all healthy.

His philosophy Jeet kun do extended beyond technique and style. He may have not chosen the best martial arts but the philosophy of Jit Kun Do is beyond technique

Think of Jeet Kun Do as similar in concept to Object Oriented Design while a specific martial arts technique is synonymous to a programming language. I believe that Israel has an excellent fighting system it probably implements the philosophy of Jon Kun Do like Python is an excellent implementation Object Oriented Design.

Google Jeet Kun Do. I want to develop a Jeet Kun Do for the development of social skills without the dogma that comes with each technique.