Fellow aspies, relax, it's not your fault.

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You may feel like creeps, wierdos, awkward, whatever.

If you're a male aspie (or NT) in the age range of 14-22, listen up, because this post is for me, you, all of us.

1. We live in a world with 6 000 000 000 people in it! about 3 100 000 000 of those people are female. A good number of that 3 000 000 000 people are within the 14-22 age range. I'm guessing there are about 1 000 000 000 potential mates out there for you, me, all of us to chose from. I know you've heard it before, but there ARE plenty of fish in the sea. That is a HUUUUUGE sea of fish! All shapes, sizes, personalities, and varying degrees of maturity and intelligence.

2. Chances are, 99% of these girls are NT. Now most girls are not stupid. When it comes to athletics, the arts, academics, science, young women can do anything because they can use their brains, which are more developed then the male brain at that age-range. However, when it comes to relationships, they stop using their brain, and they begin to think with their hormones- if they're even thinking at all. As soon as a "relationship-type-situation" comes along, they turn into an indecisive, incoherent, situation-avoiding, people-pleaser. They don't know wtf they want, and they don't know that they don't know what they want.

3. Aren't you forgetting that girls can be awkward too? Hello? I guarantee you, that most of the awkward situations are caused by the girl, not the guy. When there is an awkward silence, does the girl pick up the conversation? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I've been in many situations where the girls were more socially awkward than the guys. Is that any fault of the guys'? Well...I thought so at the time. But when I look back at the situation, and I analyze how the interaction went down, I realize that the girls were the ones breaking the social rules. Not the guys.

4. Fickleness is a fact of life. Young NT women who are hormone driven, and confused about relationships, often act arbitrarily. So, it doesn't matter whether you socialize properly or not. It's a dice roll. 3 or lower, you bomb, and the girl thinks you're a creep. 4 or higher, you succeed, and the girl is head-over-heels in love with you. It's a dice roll every time you pick up the phone, every time you get on the computer, every time you meet her. Girls go through mood swings so rapidly, it's almost impossible to keep up.

5. How many young people do you know who are ACTUALLY in a relationship? All of my friends are average-to-good-looking guys with great personalities. In highschool had one friend, Pablo who had a relatioship last a year. Another friend, Trevor, had several relationships that would last anywhere from 2 or 3 weeks to 2 or 3 months. Never worked out. My friend, Richard, had a girlfriend who was really messed up, and that didn't last for more than a few months. I don't see Pablo and Trevor anymore, but I can tell you, that the rest of my friends are single and have been single for a long time! Many of my friends have never had a girlfriend. I know a lot of girls who have never had boyfriends.

6. 99% of the young people I know or I've met are single. Guys and girls. It's not that Aspies can't get girlfriends, it's just that no-one can get girlfriends nowadays, it seems. We live in a world of indecisiveness and confusion. My young brothers, wait until you finish college, mature, and get settled into the adult world. Then more people (maybe not everybody, but most) will know what they want.

7. Everybody messes things up. Guys and girls. It's not always your fault that it didn't work out, or that she didn't call. It has very little to do with your social skills. You just have to be at the right place, at the right time, and that is all about LUCK! There is very little skill involved in getting girls. Almost all of it is luck.

8. It's human nature to play games and f**k each other over. There is nothing we can do about it, except not play. Or do what I do, and break the rules. Sometimes you end up with a creepy girl (like I did), sometimes you end up with nothing. Such is life. You win some, you lose some. Don't beat yourself up over it.

You guys and girls on WP are all f*****g awesome! Don't forget that. If the girl at the office thinks you're a creep, if the girl at the line at the grocery store thinks your a psycho, then...meh...

...999 999 999 more to chose from.

I hope some of you guys feel better. I know I do. Writing this out really made me take a good look at my problems with girls and it helped me put this s**t into some kind of perspective.

You posted this right at the same time I started thinking about giving up on finding love. You did say that it was for males in the age range of 14-22, since I'm 23 that further lets me know I should give up. I'll never find anyone that will love me and I'm going to die alone. I'm just going to have to accept that and move on.

dude no!
f**k that!
YOU WONT DIE ALONE!! !!

The 14-22 was a guideline. It doesn't apply to everybody. You're 23, man. You have at least another 60 years to live.

My cousin didn't find his love until he was 31.
My great uncle didn't find his love until well into his 40s.

You may not find love for a while. Most people don't find love until much later in life. Why do you think divorce rates are so high?

But that doesn't mean you won't find love ever. You might find it at 24. You might find it at 44. Who knows?

999 999 998 more for you.

I suppose you're right jkrane. I'm just really depressed right now for the very reason you started this topic. It just seems like every Tom, Dick, and Harry is dating someone but not me. I've tried but everytime I get somewhere with a woman, Mr. Hunk comes along and she totally forgets me. If you've ever had that happen to you then you know how that makes you feel. I've had it happen to me several times. Those memories have really been bothering me today.

I'll keep what you said in mind.

Tom, Dick, and Harry are frustrated too. Tom just got dumped, Dick's girl can't make up her mind about the relationship, and Harry is a hopeless romantic, who's had enough of it all.

Mr. Hunk'll get his ass dumped in a week or a month. Or get beat up by the jkranes in this world who are tired of being cockblockt

It may seem like everyone's having a good time, but us. But it's all just an illusion.

I'm lonely as can be. I have dreams about girls who I have been obsessed with in the past. It just seems that I go from one obsession to the next.

older women would probebly love all of you! And, they are way more decisive than younger women.

About that 1 Billion number... You have to apply the Drake Equation for Women to it:
(note: since I can't do subscripts on this forum just pretend that the lowercase letters in the equation are subscripts...)

N = W* x Fs x Ns x Fp x Fi x Fd x L

W* = number of women on the planet in the age group
Fs = fraction of those women that are single
Ns = average number of women that are potentially seeking a relationship per woman that is single.
Fp = fraction of the above that actually go on to develop a compatible personality
Fi = fraction of the above that actually go on to develop similar interests
Fd = fraction of women that release detectable signs of their existence such that they will be detected
L = length of time such women release detectable signals

I am not a teanager. I am 35. A higher percentage of girls my age wan't to stay single to a degree.

In my office almost everyone is in a relationship it feel like 95%

Good post.

(edit) ESPECIALLY the parts about remembering that you aren't the only one influencing a social situation; I think a lot of people forget this fact.

exactly! It takes TWO to tango. So if there's an awkward pause, and no one picks up the slack, then both parties are responsible. Not just the guy, or the girl.

Great post man, thanks.

Sweet analysis jk

Your "Drake Equation" is not only crap (for example, developing interests can be part of a relationship, not a prior requirement), but it also does not apply, since the number is a rough estimation across a period of time, not a specific point in time. For example, at any given time, (using fictitious numbers) 50% of women are in a current relationship (and 50% of those aren't willing to cheat), so only 25% of women are "unavailable" at any given time. However, 75% of those may be available at sometime in the next five years. OP mentions removing all non-females and everyone outside a given age range.... Both are arguable (especially the second), but obviously there are populations that could be removed for any given individual. Some people will have a lot of fish in the sea (though one billion is a tad high no matter how in discriminatory you may be), some not as many (for instance if you require someone within a xxx miles, has AS, and likes Sponge Bob...sol), but for most people it would a relatively decent proportion.

Now that I'm feeling better, this is really encouraging jkrane.

word! A good night's sleep will often make a sh***y day go away.

That along with some soul searching and help from a dear friend. I realized I've been looking for love in all the wrong places. I just have to find the right place.