Ever felt as an Aspie your lover coddled you too much?

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kid020
Blue Jay
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Joined: 23 Feb 2008
Age: 37
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03 Apr 2008, 5:48 pm

I currently don't have a girlfriend, but my main girlfriend for a long time was the sweetest and best thing that ever happened to me. Anywayshe was so good to me but at times I felt like she was mothering me more than being a girlfriend. She would always help me with things I could easily do and then in school (this was high school) she would tell people to leave me alone when they were just joking around. Her coddling me got embarrasing in public. Essentially she was a beautiful and in my sweet girl but I felt she was babying me too much because I come across as having a hard time doing things. Has this ever happened to any of the Aspies on here?



PowerGirl
Snowy Owl
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03 Apr 2008, 5:52 pm

I've just been smothered by my last boyfriend. Not nice. If people seem to overcrowd you and you don't like it, GET AWAY!! !! Those people tend to be not nice. Also, watch out for the manipulators and people who hurt you with their words, otherwise known as emotional abuse. Not nice, people, not nice. Save yourselves from the misery, stress, fear, angery, depression, saddness, and all negative feelings it causes. -Power Girl



roguetech
Deinonychus
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04 Apr 2008, 11:38 am

PowerGirl wrote:
I've just been smothered by my last boyfriend. Not nice. If people seem to overcrowd you and you don't like it, GET AWAY!! !! Those people tend to be not nice. Also, watch out for the manipulators and people who hurt you with their words, otherwise known as emotional abuse. Not nice, people, not nice. Save yourselves from the misery, stress, fear, angery, depression, saddness, and all negative feelings it causes. -Power Girl
Or, ummm..., maybe say what it is you don't like :P

Sometimes, like with PowerGirl, they're actually being controlling, but it may be she was over-compensating from misunderstanding what is difficult for you or how difficult it may be (or without enough regard for your independence).

My gf sometimes offers to do things for me or let me off the hook from some not-entirely-pleasant thing (for instance going to the grocery store) from not knowing what circumstances may cause me anxiety, even when it doesn't really effect me. Her concern does make me uncomfortable when misplaced (like being patronized), but I think it's sweet she's concerned, and truelly appreciate it when her concern is justified.



PowerGirl
Snowy Owl
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04 Apr 2008, 3:56 pm

Nah. Stupid guy was manipulating me into going out with him, even when I didn't want to. And other stuff, like trying to get attention. It was bad enough when he cut MY wrists because HE hated HIS life so much (no, not literally, figureatively). -Power Girl



Khraese
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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04 Apr 2008, 5:22 pm

Hah, I want a chick who's interested in smothering me.

If the problem is that the chick is being too emotionally insecure over you, that's a bad thing which you should confront her over. If it's that she's just a physical person, appreciate your blessings.



yesplease
Veteran
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Joined: 28 Dec 2006
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04 Apr 2008, 8:23 pm

PowerGirl wrote:
If people seem to overcrowd you and you don't like it, GET AWAY!! !! Those people tend to be not nice.
Ya sure...