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MikeH106
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01 Apr 2008, 12:23 pm

When I compliment women on their clothing or hair, they usually turn away and either giggle or say "thanks" in a tone that sounds to me as if they thought it was irrelevant. Very rarely do they ever show me genuine excitement in their response.

Needless to say, I'm left feeling bad after having complimented several women. What's the appropriate time, place, manner, and level of acquaintence needed for a compliment?



aaronrey
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01 Apr 2008, 12:31 pm

when she got a new haircut or new cloth, and the first time you see her in that hairstyle and that cloth. i think 'thanks' and a little giggle is a normal response though. it means they take the compliment.



weather1man
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01 Apr 2008, 1:17 pm

complimenting a woman makes them think your hitting on them, nothing more nothing less. Don't do it. Women love to be teased, or at least teen girls do. I've said some out and out rude things to females that got a much better response than if I said "your a nice pretty girl". Join in on it if the guys are saying haha we all think "so and so" is fat (in a joking way), girls love it.


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MikeH106
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01 Apr 2008, 1:21 pm

Don't compliment them? Are you serious?



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01 Apr 2008, 1:40 pm

MikeH106 wrote:
they usually turn away and either giggle or say "thanks"


MikeH106 wrote:
... which many may consider is genuine excitement in their response.

fix'd


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JohnHopkins
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01 Apr 2008, 1:48 pm

weather1man wrote:
complimenting a woman makes them think your hitting on them, nothing more nothing less.


This just plain isn't true.

I compliment virtually every woman I know if and when I mean what I'm saying, that they look nice, that they look pretty today, that they are talented, that their new haircut is nice. And her giggling and saying thanks is a GOOD response. A bad response is either none, her denying it (which I can often find insulting) or her thinking you're a pervert.

Here's John Hopkins' two Keyz to Komplimentz.
1. Make it conversational.

2. Make it unique.

Number one is because if it seems like you've spent all this time just complimenting them, it WILL seem like you're hitting on them. When I compliment someone at work, I don't go up to their office to say it, I will say it in passing, often when I'm leaving the room, and sometimes not even stick around for a response, because it's for their benefit not mine. If you make it casual, it won't seem obsessive or perverted.

The second one is harder, but makes it seem like it isn't a line. It doesn't have to be totally unique ("you have the hottest kneecaps I've EVER SEEN") but don't tell them they look pretty every damn day. Sprinkle it about. Do it too much and you'll seem obsessed. Do the same compliment over and over, even spaced apart, and they'll just get weirded out. Have a set cycle of three that you rotate for each person will eventually arouse suspicion if someone notices or mentions it.



Aspie_Chav
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01 Apr 2008, 1:55 pm

Notice something special about them that sets them appart from the other girls. I try it on a girl call Jenni I told her she had the best most nobel job anyone could have. it worked too well, she found out that I wasn't a smoove talking on our date.



Bopkasen
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01 Apr 2008, 1:59 pm

MikeH106 wrote:
When I compliment women on their clothing or hair, they usually turn away and either giggle or say "thanks" in a tone that sounds to me as if they thought it was irrelevant. Very rarely do they ever show me genuine excitement in their response.

Needless to say, I'm left feeling bad after having complimented several women. What's the appropriate time, place, manner, and level of acquaintence needed for a compliment?


That is good. It doesn't guaranteed that they are interested but it have to make them feel good about themselve.

Avoid all sexist comment.



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01 Apr 2008, 2:04 pm

Aspie_Chav wrote:
Notice something special about them that sets them appart from the other girls. I try it on a girl call Jenni I told her she had the best most nobel job anyone could have. it worked too well, she found out that I wasn't a smoove talking on our date.



Remember me?

Any way... I think complimenting her job is a big turn off.

The compliment have to be 100% focus on her. I don't you believe you should over do it either. It be consider as too obvious.

I like your hair or you look nice then you start throwing conversation while waiting for the meal. Talk about life and general without job, politic, and controversal.



Aspie_Chav
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01 Apr 2008, 2:07 pm

It depends on the job if it is a job like teaching young kids that will be our future or social workers might rate more highly the bailufs, bank manages or roadsweepers.



weather1man
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01 Apr 2008, 3:11 pm

JohnHopkins wrote:
weather1man wrote:
complimenting a woman makes them think your hitting on them, nothing more nothing less.


This just plain isn't true.

I compliment virtually every woman I know if and when I mean what I'm saying, that they look nice, that they look pretty today, that they are talented, that their new haircut is nice. And her giggling and saying thanks is a GOOD response. A bad response is either none, her denying it (which I can often find insulting) or her thinking you're a pervert.

Here's John Hopkins' two Keyz to Komplimentz.
1. Make it conversational.

2. Make it unique.

Number one is because if it seems like you've spent all this time just complimenting them, it WILL seem like you're hitting on them. When I compliment someone at work, I don't go up to their office to say it, I will say it in passing, often when I'm leaving the room, and sometimes not even stick around for a response, because it's for their benefit not mine. If you make it casual, it won't seem obsessive or perverted.

The second one is harder, but makes it seem like it isn't a line. It doesn't have to be totally unique ("you have the hottest kneecaps I've EVER SEEN") but don't tell them they look pretty every damn day. Sprinkle it about. Do it too much and you'll seem obsessed. Do the same compliment over and over, even spaced apart, and they'll just get weirded out. Have a set cycle of three that you rotate for each person will eventually arouse suspicion if someone notices or mentions it.
Errm, no because an aspie rarely puts it smoothly. When I was younger, I would say things. It's all and good to give a nice comment or two but if you think a girl is going to want to go out with you or like you any better because you compliment her your mistaken. Talk to her, get to know her, tease around with her, etc. It's hard as hell but compliments are not the best way to do anything. I personally find them annoying.


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0_equals_true
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01 Apr 2008, 3:30 pm

I'm not good at complementing women in general. I'm not sure how to regulate it to the correct level. The intent is sincere but maybe the content could be better.



zee
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01 Apr 2008, 3:38 pm

Most people don't know how to handle compliments, other than simply saying 'thanks'. What more do you want? I think it's a good way to talk to people, both for romantic interest and friendship, or just co-workers you want to get along with. Just don't do it too much, but most people do appreciate compliments, even if they don't say anything to that extent.



0_equals_true
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01 Apr 2008, 3:40 pm

zee wrote:
Most people don't know how to handle compliments, other than simply saying 'thanks'. What more do you want? I think it's a good way to talk to people, both for romantic interest and friendship, or just co-workers you want to get along with. Just don't do it too much, but most people do appreciate compliments, even if they don't say anything to that extent.

True, I don't know how to handle complement but don't mind them. Although I don't like them if I don't think I deserve them, then it is just patronizing.



MikeH106
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01 Apr 2008, 5:33 pm

Do you have any idea how much it hurts my feelings that women make it so hard for me to show them that I love them?



Hector
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01 Apr 2008, 6:21 pm

Based on my own failures in this department, I would still definitely use compliments but would be careful not to compliment too much because it may make you out as appearing too desperate. I would also reserve them until I've already had a decent conversation (preferably more than one!) with said person. I hate the other side of verbal flirting with women, which is teasing and being sexist or nasty, but many guys seem comfortable with it - use discretion I suppose is the least I can say if you go down that path, and don't be incredulous if you get into trouble.