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Praetor2379
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11 Mar 2008, 10:01 pm

Okay, there are a couple girls that I know from school that usually say hi to me first if they pass me in the hall. My question is, how do you ask a girl out? The most important hurtle I need addressed is how to go about it without embarrassing the girl. Often if I ask girls if they have boyfriends they get embarrassed, so how do I avoid this?


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AnonymousAnonymous
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11 Mar 2008, 10:03 pm

Just be yourself & don't be embarrased.

The ladies find it very sexy when a guy is embarrased.


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Praetor2379
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11 Mar 2008, 10:08 pm

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
Just be yourself & don't be embarrased.

The ladies find it very sexy when a guy is embarrased.


Hehe. So, I shouldn't be embarrassed but they find it sexy if I am? Did you make a typo?


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KingofKaboom
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11 Mar 2008, 10:09 pm

If they get embarrassed they get embarrassed you can't do much about it just make sure you get them alone like if you hang out do it when no one will hear you ask b/c that will embarrass both you and the girl whether or not they want to say yes or have a boyfriend.


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Complex
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11 Mar 2008, 10:10 pm

What most guys fail to understand is that asking a girl out is a process and not an event. Girls are just like everybody else, they get to know you gradually. Girls, being sexual creatures just like men, are always scanning for cute guys. When they see a guy they find cute, they send a little signal. However, this signal is not saying "focus all of your attention on me." Rather it's saying "I would like you to say "hi" and let me know that you want to talk to me." If you've received the signal, then at the earliest casual opportunity just say "hi" to her.
After that, I would only ask a girl out after we've had a week or two of good conversations.
I hope this helps.



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12 Mar 2008, 4:55 am

Yeah if you are interested in a girl, get to know her become her friend. Just start up a conversation with her before you ask her out.

Your nerves will go with experience, the more girls you talk to the easier it will become.



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12 Mar 2008, 5:18 am

Complex wrote:
What most guys fail to understand is that asking a girl out is a process and not an event. Girls are just like everybody else, they get to know you gradually. Girls, being sexual creatures just like men, are always scanning for cute guys. When they see a guy they find cute, they send a little signal. However, this signal is not saying "focus all of your attention on me." Rather it's saying "I would like you to say "hi" and let me know that you want to talk to me." If you've received the signal, then at the earliest casual opportunity just say "hi" to her.
After that, I would only ask a girl out after we've had a week or two of good conversations.
I hope this helps.


I sort of agree with this, but it is entirely possible to just ask a girl to do something in a totally casual manner at first meeting, I've done it myself numerous times. You don't always have the luxury of repeatedly seeing them in order to talk multiple times. I can't think of a single time that I've been turned down at the end of a first conversation when I simply said something along the lines of "we should do blank some time", and then after affirmation, "what is your phone number". You don't even make it sound like a date (although you should have figured out if they had that sort of interest in you by that point), its really that simple. But you do need to have at least a conversation as a basis for your apparent interest in them.



Praetor2379
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12 Mar 2008, 7:27 am

How do you know a girl is into you, without directly asking?


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viska
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12 Mar 2008, 8:30 am

There's no one clear sign, but there's lots of small ones that you may or may not see. If you start to see enough, then you know. There's way too many for me to list but I'll list some:

She goes out of her way to talk to you.
She laughs at your lame jokes.
She casually touches you while taking (like your arm or your elbow or something.)
If you let a conversation drop she picks it back up for you.
She holds eye contact a little bit longer than normal.
She's playing with her hair or licking her lips.
She complements you.
She asks you if you have a girlfriend.

There's really tons, I could go on and on.



autisticon
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12 Mar 2008, 9:40 am

Back in high school I used to think that in order for it to be a "date" you had to actually use that word. As in "can I take you on a date tonight" or something silly like that. After many failures I realized that if you are so up front with girls you will scare them away 98% of the time, the only time it would work is if the girl is already really into you.

What you want to do is just ask her to do something as friends. For a first date I recommend inviting her to join you and some friends for something, its a good opportunity to get to know her w/o the pressure of a date scenario, and it puts her guard down. After that if she had fun then I would recommend a 1 on 1 date, one of my favourite tricks is to say something like you were supposed to see a movie or a concert with a friend and they backed out, and you wanted to know if she would join you instead. Once again, the key is to not make it look like a date.

Then at some point you have to go in for the kiss.



ToadOfSteel
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12 Mar 2008, 10:14 am

If it weren't for the "friend zone" that so many women are fond of I would be doing so much better... I like to know someone before I date her...



Complex
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12 Mar 2008, 10:48 am

PowersOfTen wrote:
I sort of agree with this, but it is entirely possible to just ask a girl to do something in a totally casual manner at first meeting, I've done it myself numerous times. You don't always have the luxury of repeatedly seeing them in order to talk multiple times. I can't think of a single time that I've been turned down at the end of a first conversation when I simply said something along the lines of "we should do blank some time", and then after affirmation, "what is your phone number". You don't even make it sound like a date (although you should have figured out if they had that sort of interest in you by that point), its really that simple. But you do need to have at least a conversation as a basis for your apparent interest in them.


This is true for more experienced Aspies who are able to see the writing on the wall. Less experienced Aspies may wish to err on the side of caution though.



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12 Mar 2008, 4:06 pm

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
Just be yourself & don't be embarrased.


I wish it were that simple. Nothing turns a girl off more than poor social skills, unfortunately...


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Cirrus
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12 Mar 2008, 10:21 pm

If you're worried about embarrassing her, don't ask her out in front of other people. Try to catch her at a moment where it's just the 2 of you and keep it casual.

If you are worried about getting embarrassed, that's an entirely different animal.



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14 Mar 2008, 8:24 am

Well, my experiences in these matters are rather slim but I do have a bit of advice....

Basically last year I realized that if I kept putting off asking someone to one of the school dances (prom or homecoming) I would never get around to it. Since that time I have, with immense difficulty, on 3 separate occasions asked someone to a school dance. And the last time (which was only 2 days ago) I finally got "yes" for an answer.

1. Try to find out if they are even interested in such events. Some girls haven't yet stopped thinking that "all men are pigs", or something of that nature. I ran into this problem on my first attempt.
2.Don't wait until 2 days before the actual event. She will have already made plans. The second time I asked someone, despite hours of contemplation, I again never accounted for this.
3. Just because she's with a friend (or friends) doesn't automatically mean you can't ask. This is a total departure from tradition, but I have found it to be true. In fact under very specific circumstances it can actually increase probability of success. These circumstances include:
- She isn't an extremely popular girl (in fact I'll go as far to say the less popular the better) among other guys. This doesn't mean to go straight to the bottom of the pile, but it means you shouldn't ask someone who is clearly out of your league.
- The friend(s) present know who you are, and know your a fairly nice guy. This of course means you actually have to be a fairly nice guy for this to work. No way you can fabricate this.
- The friend(s) present have no reason to be jealous. This is generally caused by the friend(s) having a boyfriend (or boyfriends) and the girl your asking does not.


I should note that if any one of the circumstances are not true, I cannot guarantee it will work. If they are however, I honestly credit her best friend for convincing her to go, as she wasn't originally planning on going, I suspect it was because she never expected anyone to ask her.



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05 Apr 2008, 10:15 pm

:D I need to know if a girl likes me. Please let me know what you think or if I can answer any additional questions to help you get a better answer. I very much appreciate all of the help

Does she smile every time she sees you? (mostly)

If she's flirty- no

She most likely will never dream off- never would do that

If she turns BRIGHT red-no

If she calls you to just talk with her- tough to tell

If you have a class with her-3 classes (WOOT!)

Strike up a small conversation.- seems to work pretty well (I guess)

Hang around her- I try to do my best w/o being awkward

she stares at you.- its happened a few times

Ask her for help during class- whenever I can

Try to seem interested in her school projects or special talents.- hell yes

Ask her for her cell phone number if she has one- getting there

if they laugh at your jokes- I think so?