Pace of a relationship

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or how to know when you are in a 'serious' relationship.

I'm dating this girl. 3 dates so far. We like each other, and some casual comments or her part seem to indicate that this will be serious or is right now.

Yet nothing has been explicitly stated, and I don't really want to ask it... knowing that it kind of ruins everything. And a part of me thinks that it's obvious that we are fairly serious anyways.

And a big topic that I have no clue about, is touching. We have stood close to each other, and some incidental touching 'bumping into each other'... but nothing exactly intimate or anything like that.

What is usually the pace of a relationship? It's not that I'm trying to 'score'... but stuff like the first kiss... first 'I love you'... that sort of thing. That'll help me rest my doubts about the seriousness of it.

What I would hate, is that after all our doing stuff together and compatibility and interest in each other... I am still so naive as to get a "I don't think about you in that way" response from her.

You should find an excuse to hold her hand. ...or just do it without an excuse.

If the moment is right, in my experience, the time would be appropriate for a first kiss. But waiting a couple more dates would be fine too if you're uncertain. Just make sure you don't give any signals to make her uncertain.

The first "I love you" is usually a ways down the line... for me it's usually a month or two. Get too fast with those three little words, girls might worry you don't really know what they mean.

Guess I should bump this. Things are moving forward, but still at a very slow pace. Which is fine by me.

A couple of more dates that went well enough. And more comments on her part that seem to indicate how serious this is.

I think we both are kind of skirting around the issue of physical intimacy. Not quite sure where either of us stand.

However, our feet made contact for a fairly lengthy period of time during dinner. While nowhere near 'footsie', it showed to me where all of this is going more than anything else.

She is also more comfortable touching my hand incidentally, grabbing things from my hand and making contact like that.

Anyways, I think we both are kind of socially awkward about all of this. But with each date we chip away what we are each comfortable with. She's concerned about not making me feel uncomfortable... and I'm waiting for a signal to indicate how much intimacy I should push forward with.

Plus none of our dates have really involved alcohol, which could push things more quickly.

But anyways, things are still going great. She's awesome and we go together so well, everything just 'fits' between us. It feels to me like we don't even need that much physical intimacy, when we go together so well... and can connect verbally.

My guy and I were pretty shy about touching but we sort of bumped into each other while walking and I grabbed his hand to hold it. Him not pulling away in horror was a plus!

You could take her to a nice dinner, sit across from her and tell her you really enjoy spending time with her. If her hands are resting on the table, you could reach across and hold her hand while you talk. I know I'd enjoy that but I'm an Aspie. Might not be the same for an NT gal (assuming she's NT).

You have to break the physical barrier any way you can, just casual touching, or slapping her leg when you make a joke to her or something like that... it just gets rid of some tension and makes things less awkward. -my 2cents

If I took her hand, she wouldn't object. It just hasn't came up that we should hold hands... if that makes any sense. Kind of like if that's what I wanted to do, she would go along with doing it for me.

We haven't really done anything on the romantic side of things. And actually we haven't really talked about how we feel about each other much at all... it's all been sort of implied though.

I think she's NT... but not without a personality that is relatable to one who has AS. I might have AS, and she's about as close to 'normal' as I am.

Oh I've done a little something like that once. And we stand very close, and she doesn't object... seems natural and what's right.

For the first "I love you" better too late than too early. It's something that can definitely wait.

The first kiss though....I've never known when girls wanted it. They've gotten annoyed because I waited too long.