Worst relationships

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What's the worst relationship or dating experience you've ever had?

I once had a date where the girl (unexpectedly) brought two of her friends along. One on one I can handle kinda ok, but three on one and I become a mute. The whole thing was surreal. Kinda funny now that I think back on it.

my first ex when I was 14 said she was pregnant with my baby at this time my mother was in the hospital and I was with my overbearing grandparents who are nuerotic. I eventually weeded through the lies when my friend reminded me how much she lied in the past once I found out she lied about something so important I was pissed and I believe it was the first time I raised my voice to a member of the opposite sex.

My first girlfriend led me on and cheated on me.

That is why I will not date NTs.

Here is a post I made earlier on Wrong Planet about the worst person I ever dated, Kristin R. She is a horrible liar and narcissist and that why I have included her name in this post

The story of what happened to me is a bit long but it illustrates just how awful some people can be and how their former lovers think of them after they find out about their partner’s infidelity. Here is a copy of an email I sent to one of my friends after I found out about what my former girlfriend had been doing while we were dating.

As I said before, the email is long but I think it is worth readying Also, since she has to come back from Norway soon I hope her marriage is on the verge of failure. Sorry to be bitter but she really treated me badly.

Text of the email:

The true story of it all begins in the summer of 2004 when I was still in Menomonie and had been dating Kristin for a little over 6 months. I believe it was in July 2004 when she told me that the guy from Norway was planning to visit over Spring Break (March 2005) to do research at St. Olaf College and that she was going to help facilitate his visit there. She said he was just a friend and I believed her.

We were still dating and still talking about getting married in March of 2005 when he came for Spring break. I thought Kristin and I were doing well in our relationship and, as a sign of my affection for her bought her an opal necklace and earring set for Christmas 2004. I am sure you must have seen them. They were actually somewhat expensive, $800, but one buys give like that for the girl he love.

Well, over Spring Break of 2005 Kristin cheated on me with this man from Norway. She called me not long after he went back to Norway and she told me that we had to discuss our relationship. She said she thought it would be best if we put our relationship on "Hold" as she called it so that we could evaluate our relationship. She said her sister and husband did that for about 6 months while they were dating and then they resumed their relationship and got married. We agreed that the relationship was on "Hold" for a bit but that we had not broken up. We discussed this again in May and once again agreed that the relationship was on "Hold" and that we had not broken up. We also agreed to talk again in the summer to see how things were going.

I called her in July of 2005 to talk about getting again but she said she still didn't know how our relationship could work with me in Mankato and her in Menomonie. I asked her at that point if she was dating anyone and she said, "No." I called her again in November of 2005 and asked her if she was dating the guy from Norway and, once again, she said, "No." You can imagine the shock I had this past Tuesday when I looked up her name on Google and found this web page, http://english.osu.edu/NewsEvents/featu ... risley.cfm, and found out that, in fact, there I was being duped all along about the Norwegian man and that she had indeed even married him.

Kristin is a horrible liar and a cheat. Her lying about this man to me extended from summer of 2004 when she first began telling me he was coming the following March to do research at St. Olaf College. Here lying about putting our relationship on "Hold" and about not dating the Norwegian man were simply ways of getting me out of her life in the easiest way possible without having to admit that she had cheated on me and lied to me. Her actions were despicable and I want you to know that the story she told about the end of our breaking up is utterly false. We never actually broke up--I was under the impression our relationship was on "Hold" and to be resumed again sometime in the future.

I have grave doubts about the long term sustainability of her marriage. If she treats that guy the way she treated me I don't know how he will be able to tolerate it. Also, whether the guy from Norway realizes it or not, she does not want to live in Norway permanently. She told me in February of 2005, when she applied for a job at the University of Stavanger in Norway, that she wouldn't want to live there forever and that she worried about how she would get another professorship in the United States if she left to teach there and wanted to return to the US. She also wants to be a professor. Professorships are hard enough to get in the United States much less Norway and I don't think she wants to do any other kind of work. I also don't know why any man living and working in Norway would want to leave his friends, his family, and his career in Norway and move to Menomonie Wisconsin or the Twin Cities. I know I wouldn't do it and I can't imagine that any man would.

Personally, if Kristin's Norwegian Dream turns into a Norwegian Nightmare it wouldn't bother me one bit. She treated me far worse in so many ways than any other girl I have ever dated that I can wish her no success in any of her future endeavors. I believe that her marriage will eventually fail, and will probably do so very rapidly, because of her own selfishness and deceitfulness. Don't be surprised if, when she comes back to work through the 2007-2008 academic year at Stout that the Norwegian man does not come with her and, also, don't be surprised if she continues to work at Stout and does not move to Norway to be with him. In the end, her career will be more important to her than he is and he will never give up his life in Norway to move to the United States. It's easy to see the clouds of a broken marriage already building.

To conclude, now you know more of the real story of Kristin and Paul. It is not a pretty story. It is a story of lying, treachery, and infidelity. The next time you see that girl think about this letter. You will see her in a completely different light. I am sure that no one other than a few of my friends know the real Kristin and Paul story. Now, you know it as well. People like Kristin eventually reap what they sow. Eventually, she will find that all of her lying and deceit will have led her to a terrible, quiet, and dark emptiness.

Last edited by PaulW on 07 May 2008, 5:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

My worst relationship was last summer, when I dated a girl in my Biology class who seemed to be really into me. She was attractive I'll admit, but I feared right from the beginning she wasn't my type, knowing that was asking for trouble but I ignored that. Told her one night "You know what you need? A handsome guy to buy you dinner.", and two weeks later that guy was me. Yay, I thought!

She's from Russia (lived in Moscow until she was 9), and that's an important thing later on I think. So we went to dinner, saw a few movies, went over her house and met her family, ect. But she was by far the most Neurotypical girl I'd ever dated. She seemed mildly frustrated by my trespasses over the unwritten rules of dating, and more frustrated that I was never relaxed enough around her in that short amount of time we'd been together to really be affectionate with her.

However what she dumped me for apparently, was that I told a Non-Blood Relative that I had a girlfriend (i.e. a close friend of over 6 years that I call my Sister even though she isn't), and my girlfriend equates telling someone I'm not actually related to about her as the same thing as telling my next door neighbors, saying I was talking about her behind her back and that she couldn't even be friends with me anymore over it. I can only assume that in Russia, you only tell family members anything like that. The fight did suck, but I can't say I was heartbroken over it anyway; I could never be myself around her anyway.

Last week after nearly a year, she approached me asking if I could help her study for her physics homework; I agreed. So yesterday was supposed to just be the 2 of us in the library, but when I got there early about 4 other classmates crowded around me so there were 5 of us total. I suspected she was just trying to use me, and I think her lack of talking to me at all during that study session because the other guy next to her was more useful to her kind of gave that away. When she got up and left, 3 of the other classmates there said something about one of them wanting to ask her out... I told em good luck! Someone else mentioned she rejected a guy once after leading him on because he was a non-Biology major. A girl who used to be friends with her said she's just a total user of people. I'd had no idea she'd has this reputation!

So the main lesson I learned from that whole thing was NEVER to date a girl outside of my 'type' again... unfortunately that'll leave me single for a very very long time, because every girl I've met in my life whose been my type has already had boyfriends, for years... I always meet them much too late.

I have been in, at time of posting this. 3 relationships. 2 with women in the same country, one with another Wrong Planet member who I met on another forum who lives overseas (not going to say who she is as she may not appreciate me doing so)

it was the 2nd relationship, of 3 years, that has been the worst so far......

I had known this girl a year or two prior to getting with her. I helped her out when the guy she was with (ironically my supposed best friend at the time) was dreadful to her, and ultimately cheated on her. After that (2003 by this time), I asked her out by text message, she said yes, with a letter and a kiss, her letter stated her "true feelings" for me, and she told me somewhat the same as the letter.

A month after getting with her, the two of us expressed our feelings physically, making me a proper man in the process, little did I know that a few weeks of the two of us doing this, she'd got contact details out of my phone for a friend, and sent this friend a text claiming she was pregnant by me and I wasn't to know...... when I found out about this I was disgusted and outraged, and should have dumped her outright, but I never, I continued on with the relationship.

By the end of 2004, the two of us were engaged, I proposed to her at her 22nd birthday party, she accepted. This could have been worse, as the years past, more hell and more lies, by january 2007, the engagement was called off and I split up with her.... for good......

but

her nasty self resurfaced in november last year, and it near destroyed the 3rd relationship

she is pure evil this girl

girl i lost my virginity to broke up with me on my 18th birthday, didn't tell me why, and then gave me a Dear John e-mail a week later. really wrecked me for a while.

But that's kinda generalizing NTs as all being cheaters, isn't it? And that's certainly not true.

Maybe it's more along the lines of him "not taking any chances" than a generalization?

Anyway, even though I've never had a relationship or a date, the worst thing closest to a dating experience I had was in middle school. There was a girl who I guess was "popular" or something, but I didn't even like her because she was a total brat. And yet one of the idiots in my class thought that I should ask her out. I refused, so he asked her for me, even though I had told him not to. Her response to him asking if she would go out with me was "I'd rather eat cockroaches." LOL. As I said, I didn't like her, and I would've expected a response like that from her anyway... but I still found it really annoying that I had to get rejected without even asking.

I once went on what I thought was a date (because she gave me her number and I subsequently asked her to meet me to see a festival) but turned out not to be anything of the sort. By date standards it was terrible in that the event we went to hadn't even started yet and the food we ate wasn't nice, but we still talked for hours and I left with the impression that I had been on a bad date that could still have been patched up. I think she found out from a friend later after I mouthed off to other people in my school that I had a date. She told me to stop calling her. She was still going out with her old boyfriend and I didn't know the story behind her not realising that I was interested (and thought she was too) until several months later. It wasn't that traumatic an experience really, but a bit embarrassing.

I guess if I learned anything from that it was not to take a gesture of interest, though somewhat promising, too seriously. Though that turned out to be the last time I responded at all to any such interest to this day, and that was about three and a half years ago.

Last year, when I was a senior in high school, I somehow garnered a small freshman girl fan club...and asked one of them out (that was probably the biggest mistake right there).

At first she really nice and devoted and la la la. Then after the first month, she got really mean and was always insulting and belittling me and playing all these mind games. Our relationship was also extremely empty anyway. All we did was fool around...there was nothing else to it. It felt more like friends with benefits. But anyhow, she ended up using me to go to prom that year...and we broke up on our 2 month anniversary.
She was also the shittiest prom date ever.

I'll split them up into two different sections: dates and relationships.

Dates first.

1) I was meeting this girl for the first time. We had decided to meet at this popular restaurant that had outdoor movies as well. We'll she brought one of her girlfriends without telling me. That was awkward in itself. Then, trying to be nice/polite, I tried to talk to her friend as well as her, but she said just a few words and it was like a one-sided conversation. That made it all even more awkward. At a certain point they both abruptly just left.

2) I meet this women at this coffee house. First date. It was noisy. Very distracting to me. I couldn't hear her sometimes and had to ask her to repeat a few things. I tried to move along the conversation, but no, that didn't work to well. I think at one point she got bored with me for she started talking to me about the other men she was seeing and the plans she had with them in the coming days.

3) I had this one date back in college. I showed up and things seemed to be going well. Then out of the blue two other guys showed up. I did not know at the time, but she was seeing one of them seriously. Well, they stayed -for about 2 hours. She was making dinner, so I decided to stay because I was hungry and I felt it would have been rude of me to leave. It was a long two hours.

4) ... oh yeah almost forgot this one (lol). If you laugh at this, please help yourself. I meet this one girl for a first date. I really didn't know much about her. She brought her two year old daughter, but had asked me if she could before the date (so that is cool, no biggie -yet). We were in a restaurant. She talked rather loud. There were other folks seated all around us. Well, the conversation turned to her divorce. She started venting. Being to nice, I just sat there and listened. She started to vent about her sexual relations with her ex... then started giving details -LOTS of details. I glanced around at other people and fortunately the ones I looked at were kind enough to not stare for I KNOW they could hear her. Her daughter is right there too. I know she was only two, but STILL. Then she started talking about her piercings and tattoos and where they were -again with LOTS of details in a loud voice... places people do not show in public. Finally, we are leaving and I think I am free, but noooooo...... she again wants to talk in the parking lot and try to get me to commit already to another date... I give vague answers. I think she noticed this for she started to stare deep into my eyes and told me a few times that she wanted more kids. I was so glad when that date ended.


Ok, now relationships:

1) I had one girlfriend that after awhile would use guilt trips to get me to do things for her. At first it worked, but then after awhile things got worse. It got to the point that she would tell me that I was abandoning her and betraying her and that she was thinking of committing suicide simply because I was going to my job and not spending the day with her. At that point I ended the relationship.

2) Another girlfriend was very controlling. At first just little things, but after awhile it got to the point that she had to know every night where I was, who I was with, for how long, and what we talked about. She would at times try to decide for me what to eat, what to wear, where we would go, what we would do, etc, etc, etc...

3) Another girlfriend would make fun of me. Once I got really sick and ran into the bathroom. It was funny to her to watch me scramble to the bathroom. At first, I thought no big deal. Then the time came when I burned myself. She had left her curling iron plugged in and on. It was right next to the light switch. Well, I was unaware about the iron being on and I reached without looking for the switch. I ended up with second degree burns on two of my fingers. It happened while she was standing there. She saw the whole thing. It was very painful and I will never forget the look of disgust on her face. She was "disappointed" in me for not paying attention and burning myself. She helped me, but complained while we bandaged my fingers that we *should* be doing something else with our time. I asked her to not keep her iron plugged in to avoid something like this from happening. She said she would, but never did.

She had a lot of debt from graduate school. Our relationship had progressed and it looked like we had some type of future together. Well, one day she told me out of the blue that she expected me to pay it off for her. She had enough debt for a house mortgage.

She also had the habit of telling me what she really thought of my friends and family. After meeting most of them for the first time she would be very critical of my parents and make fun of most of my friends.


***

I ended all of the above relationships. I freely admit that I do not get small talk, body language, innuendos, flirting, etc. But, I have learned a lot with all my experiences and I am happy to say that though I hope to one day find someone to share my life with, I am content with being alone.

Biggest thing for me now is if I can't be friends with a girl first, there can't be anything more.

I've never actually had a bad relationship. Oh well.

I think maybe the first time I got dumped was bad, but now that I look back on it, it wasn't that bad at all. I was like 15 or 16, and was all hurt. I can't believe I was that worked up

In all honesty, I've never had a super serious relationship, at least so I've been told. This has lead to me being called a dishonest bastard, someone who uses people for sex, etc. Mostly though, I just don't feel really attached. Maybe if I found that perfect person to get married to, I would understand where you guys are coming from.

Though, now that I read more, I'm quite happy about the decisions I've made.

Edit: Whoah Tahlagos. That last date sounds like the date from hell. Run! Run!

I've had my share of bad relationships, several of which were little BUT unpleasant memories. But there's something uniquely terrible about experiencing the most wonderful moments of your life with someone, and then losing them, that goes beyond simple pain. For at least a year afterwards, I don't think I processed real sorrow or anger - I just went about in a sense of shock - feeling like something familiar was suddenly missing. There were nights where I would just stare and rock, with no expression on my face. It was as though the thing tying me to the people in this world had come undone and I had just ... drifted away. I think it tore at those closest to me even more because I was so unreachable. Though if anyone can understand that sensation, I'm sure you kind folks can. I'll just get to the story.

Her name was Kayt. I met her in one of my later years of college, at a student club for Dance Dance Revolution players. She was a short girl in a cherry-print dress, who obviously had peculiar tastes - but was so unpredictable that I stood breathless, waiting for whatever she would say or do next. I don't know how I got the courage to go talk to her, but I somehow did. We fell madly in love with one another.

I won't say there weren't upsets here and there, but the good far outlasted the bad. In fact, we watched the relationships around us ebb and plateau and fall, but we were unreachable. On Valentine's Day, we found out we were going to be parents. We had been very careful (I thought), but we didn't consider it a tragedy... just odd timing. I dropped my second major and focused on completing my Psychology degree. We would make this work - and we would be tremendously happy.

The child's name would be Eli or Elly, had she not miscarried. We moved in together anyway - perhaps through momentum, or to console one another. I finished my degree and looked for work in a college town. Kayt started failing in school (although she had never been that spirited a student), and dropped out for a while. Over the months, we started sleeping apart, and becoming quiet and distant from one another. I found work detasseling corn for a summer, and she drove a bus. We got a hermit crab named Speed Racer. We got a chinchilla named Voodoo. And a cat named Ink. None of the pets helped. I took to playing guitar and went back to school to study Art, but those only served to distance us further. After another year, it just... ended. It was quiet - no screaming, no hysterics, no blame. The lease ended, she took Ink, I took Voodoo, and we went our seperate ways.

It is now five years after I met Kayt, and I live in a one-room economy apartment with Voodoo. I have some friends, my hobbies, and my art, and I keep a full-time job that requires little of me mentally. I tried dating once or twice here and there... but it's hard where I live. It's hard to get started again.

So there, I figured I'd contribute a sad story too. ^_^

A few years back I hooked up with a random girl at a party. Not something that's at all in my character, but I was wasted and she was quite flirty. We continued to hook up for a few weeks but right from the start I knew something wasn't right, but I figured as long as I kept my heart out of it and just enjoyed the ride I'd be fine. In the end I found out that I was the "other" guy and that she was actually engaged. I said some nasty things and walked away, thankful I had been wise enough to not become attached. In the end I feel bad for the other guy, because they got married a few months later and are still together. I'm guessing he still doesn't know, and that I wasn't the only guy she cheated on him with. Poor sap.