AS-NT relationships?

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What in the world would be the motivation for an NT to want to have an AS in his life? Maybe someone can clarify...what can they ever want....And why would an AS want a relationship with an NT?

I would guess that some people are indifferent about things like that.

Well honestly I don't rule out a relationship with a neurotypical woman, or an AS woman. I would say that a neurotypical woman is less likely to want a relationship with me, which is the only real factor there. There can be neurotypical woman capable of the depth I seek, and AS women, so i'll always look closely at them both.

It would seem that the better relationships would be AS-AS and NT-NT, because the styles of thinking, acting, and communicating match up. An AS-NT relationship could be problematic. I could imagine an AS male being dependent on an NT female, or an NT male taking advantage of an AS female.

I don't know why anyone would particularly seek out a relationship with someone on the other side of the spectrum.

Last edited by RainKing on 13 Apr 2008, 9:07 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I agree.

Not all of us are very far NT or very far AS; it's called a spectrum for a reason.

Agreed. I think it comes down to the two people, and what poses a problem for them, and if they can deal with it. labeling the problems as simply being "as and nt" is not specific enough. You can't change that you have AS, but maybe you change something that you do that is harmful to the relationship. I've never met an AS woman and based on probability will likely never date one, so I try and just manage what problems I have in a relationship. It's also 50/50 (or it should be). If someone is not willing to meet me half way, then it isn't going to work out regardless.

I'll second Jainaday's comment and add that there are some very happy and successful AS-NT relationships even right here on Wrong Planet.

uh. . .because there was no other choices?

I have met 7 other AS people in my life and that was in the last two years. I had no other choices before that, not knowing any AS people

Fear of loneliness?
Sex?

that, too.. .

Some NTs go for intellectual that aspies have to offer. But I guess there is fear of being alone. Aspie will face more NT who will want to start up relationships because of loneliness as they get older. It gets complicated. It isn’t a good thing sometimes because when they do find someone more compatible they are off.

I have been with my NT wife for nearly 15 years going back to high school, married for nearly 10. We have a great relationship and have since day 1. It is possible.

Awe.

It's so good to hear that these things actually happen, ever. .

Attraction?

The fact that the person complements the other.

Lots of reasons.

If an NT person can handle living with an ND then there's no problem.

Relationships are primitive - people make them complex. Be simple. The bedrock of a good relationship is the same for everyone.

Don't lie.
Treat her with respect.
Keep yourself in good health/condition with good hygiene.
Make a reasonable living.

There are so many NT guys that are also complete losers that AS would be irrelevant to a lot of women if you can manage those four reasonable things. It just so happens that those four things are cornerstones of a productive life anyway.

Look at it from her point of view - you can have a quirky and sometimes weird husband who is a good man or you can have an NT who is a drunk that beats her. Which do you think she'd rather have?