I dont understand why no one will date me....

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ive often wondered why women are repulsed by me... i am upbeat (mostly), im funny, intelligent, and im a decent guy...

these things are confirmed by female friends and family members, but for some reason when i ask someone out or a person thinks i am interested that person runs a mile and/or call me ugly and repulsive...


so.... i am posting some pics of me from last year and hopefully i can find out why... all those with weak hearts or of a nervious disposition please dont look.... i dont want the guilt of causing trauma (or pay for your phycologist bill )

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ok, here goes: -

this one is from last year...





Also from last year, me trying to smile ...




final one from last year, me trying to look serious...



Scary one of me trying to look evil......LOL.....



umm.... a close up of my eye....




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ive been told thay i look like Toby Macguire quite a bit, but i dont see it...

also a group of girls at Uni said i look like a non-sexy Obi-wan Kenobi.... (i have a Beard now)


sorry for putting you all through this display, but i am wondering if there is anything i can do to solve my dilemma, i know its not a personality thing, i can make friends and people think im a great guy, so it must be a looks thing, maybe if i find out why no one will date me i will be able to sort it out...

P.S.

i dont suffer from B/O

any ideas?

where do you get your hair done?

maybe try something new with it and get someone young and stylish to do it.

hair can really impact your appearance.

maybe let it grow out some 1st? then if you can afford to, dont go somewhere cheap
it may sound like a waste to pay $50 for a haircut but often you will see that there is a difference in quality.

after the 1st one, if you like what you get, you can go to the cheap places and see if they can pull it off.


also do you work? and do you drive?

Well have already let it grow out some.. and grown a stylish Beard... although it has had a mixed response.. (as usually happens when people know you before having one)

im a University Student, i dont work, but i do alot of community outreach to those in need amd those two things take up quite a bit of my time.. i have enough money to survive

i dont drive, but i havent had the need to so far, i can get places either by walking or public transport, im not the only guy, and i cannot believe its the reason why no one is interested...

i am thinking to learning after University anyway, when i have more time.

i may post a new pic of me here as i am now... but that will have to wait until after a trip to Wales i have organised for this weekend for a group of guys in Bristol.

anyone else got any comments?

Also i have noticed quite a number of people viewing this thread... why arnt you replying? is it because you dont want to hurt my feelings or what? i can take critisism... even if its 'look, you're just ugly, dnthing you can do mate....' at least i can get closure on this problem...

Your appearance is not repulsive. You look like a fairly regular guy to me. Maybe some of the women can give you a better analysis.

i have wondered why no women have commented yet myself... im trying not to be cynical about it, but maybe its the old saying 'if you dont have anyting good to say... dont say anything'...

im not asking any women on here out on a date.... i just want to know why women find me repulsive...

I'm female. I think you look fine. Not wildly attractive, but fairly good looking and certainly not ugly.

AFTL,

Why do *you* think people find you repulsive? You seem to have all the qualities a woman would want.

I worry about the same thing, too. I also worry it's because I don't make enough money.

Well, the problem you have seems to be your attitude about yourself. Not anything pertaining to your looks.

Let me tell you a story of a guy Rob I used to play cards with years ago. Rob, at only 20 years old, was on blood pressure medication due to his weight, & had dry skin patches all over his face. Basically, anything but physically attractive. However, Rob seemed to have no trouble with the ladies. In fact, he was more successful that about 90% of men, all better looking than him, with the ladies.

Well, what Rob did have going for him was that he was cocky as hell. He could say anything he wanted to anybody as naturally as taking a breath. Imagine someone weighing 300 lbs telling a girl weighing half that she could trim a little baby fat. Sounds like the biggest jerk in the world, I know, but it worked for him. What made it work, I think, was the apparent fact that at any point, anybody within as earshot could call Rob out on his much greater shortcomings & be completely right. However, Rob wasn't afraid of that. In fact, it was like whatever he said would be taken so much more lightly coming from him than anyone else, that it was all acceptable & even charming. He was the perfect balance of substance & attitude.

Now, back to you. I'm not saying be overly cocky like Rob was; you look way too good for that. People will actually take you too seriously. lol. It's about having the right balance between substance & attitude. If you're too humble or arrogant, people can interpret that as weakness or insecurity, & those traits are probably more repulsive to women that a toe growing out of your forehead.

I'm guessing you're more on the too humble side.

I'll have to agree with deadeye; I can't remember what movie it's from, but the line "desperation is a stinky cologne" comes to mind. It seems trite to say stop trying so hard, but give a girl a chance to get interested in you on her own, before you challenge her with a "what about me don't you like?"-type line.