I crushed on her for almost a year and went spent a little time together very little. She liked me I know but we are both severely nervous so neither of us could make a move. I've sent her a message on face book after the last time I saw her she stared at me, I think I gave her the wrong e-mail, but later I saw her and she tried to get me to say something the same way she always has by just being there and standing near by and looking straight at me waiting for me to talk. I just walked by to nervous again after I sent her the message about three months ago and I have only seen her once since then in her car as she drove by..... I barely noticed but she kept looking back at me over and over again which is how I realized it was even her at all. I know she liked me and tried to be my friend after I sent the message asking her to be my friend explaining how i felt. But I found out she had a boyfriend and she didn't send me an e-mail (b/c I gave the wrong one....) but I thought she didn't like me then she shows up in front of me again..... I wanna send another message but I know she would think I'm crazy, which I am I can't get over her I can't stop looking at her facebook every few weeks thinking how I f'ed it up b/c I'm so socially insecure and scared. I can try to move on but it's so hard to know what I missed and how much I keep missing b/c I can't handle the normal everyday interactions with girls that would let me find one that I get along with. Whats worst of all I know what has to be done and can physically do it and even mentally do it if I try hard enough but emotionally I'm so scared that I just go to my dorm and hide until the next day I really hate it b/c I think she still likes me or well I dunno anymore I just want to try b/c it's offered and then I screw up anyway.
Sorry I imagine few will read that rant.
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Tacos (optional)
13 Apr 2008, 9:33 pm
