How do u tell if ur just obsessed or in love with someone?

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(The title is self expaintry) as an aspie, do we confuse obession with love?
etc

Thats a mystery to me too

If I don't feel the need to be with the person every second and worry that they will leave you the first chance they get...then it is less likely to be obsession. I didn't fall in love until I was 39,prior relationships were all obsessions for me,I think. Maybe I just grew-up? but I don't think I was capable of love before then.

i think i am confusing obsession with love with my ex.


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Well, I can't tell you what YOU are feeling...you asked how I could tell the difference and for me that is it.

My obsessions are "things" that I can't get enough of and can't stand them to ever end...So for me,most my BF's were more obsession then love.(Though i also did like them a lot as people...just to further confuse the issue)


Now I feel like I love the person I am with but I don't feel like I would cease to exist if he wasn't in my life any more...He is what makes my life more interesting and sweeter but not what defines it. Don't know if that made any more sense? I think even love can feel like that when you fist meet the person but it mellows with time...(Hey, I'm just guessing here)What I do know is different is that I would end up not feeling obsessive about someone after 6mths or a year and that is not love....that is obsession that changed to a different obsession. There were a few guys I stayed "obsessed with for years but I think it is because they pushed me away and I never got to know "every part of them" like do with most obsessions...so the obsesions was incomplete and I stayed obsessed until I got to know them better...then the same thing happened.

Anyway...I'm weird,so this may not apply to you at all

I don't understand it either. If it lasts years, doesn't go away and you have seen it reciprocated at times then must it be love?

This is all rather a fascinating issue.
Myself, I feel neither love nor have obsessive impulses to be mistaken for such.
Truth be told, I hate everyone. Don't get me wrong - I can like someone, rather their personality or traits thereof; but, at the core, I simply hate people.
Brief word of advice: never put me in charge of The Button.
This might still seem confusing.
I'll try to explain a bit better - I can get along with people at a basic level, a few drinks or jokes, etc. but after the fact I'd rather have nothing to do with them.
I hate the presence, the existence, the very idea of other people - not necessarily the person.
Such as somone may hate a nation but not a person from that nation.
So saying - the only way I'd "get laid", as all the cool kids say, is the whole "friends with benefits" notion.
But love? Obsession? Any way to define relationships - bollocks, that's impossible.

Obsession is one direction only. Love is in both directions...

What makes you think there is such a big difference? Have you ever heard especially young girls (but anyone else newly in love as well, men are typically less vocal) talking about someone they are in love with? Where is the difference with someone talking about an obsession? And isn't there a saying that love is blind? That is a lot like an obsession as well. Most people have the idea being in love is something almost holy, but it is no more than a surge of feeling.

BUT... I was now talking about being IN love. There is a major difference with loving someone. Loving someone is far from an obsession because a lot of the time it isn't even fun or stimulating. It is a great thing however...

In love, your own well being is connected to that of the other person.

In a romantic obsession, or limerence, that usually isn't the case. Sure, you can be empathetic towards them, maybe you'd die for them--but there's something missing. It's hard to explain.

Love doesn't have to be mutual to be love, nor does it have to be romantic. But you do need to have your own well being tied to the other person.

Id say obsession is when it consumes my every thought. A little like infatuation.

I find the only times I would become obsessed with a girl is when she rejected me.

Now I just don't worry. Love is powerful but does not require any words.

Where as Obsessions requires a lot of one sided talking from me...

I've always worried that when my time came I would become obsessive. I hope I can keep from doing that.

i once asked someone how you can tell when you're truly in love with someone...she said that for her, it was when she realized she couldn't imagine the rest of her life without him in it.

if that's the case...i'm in trouble. lol...

I'm not sure what "being in love" exactly means, but the kind of obsession you're talking about may be a sort of self-absorbed thing. Do you know this person very well? Do you think about her or what you would like to think she could be?