Putting my relationship to the test

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what you describe sounds like a typical relationship pattern, ant. the first bit is a honeymoon period, where you see the other in a rosy light. then you get to know them better, you see them as they are (not as who you think they are), and then you can decide whether or not you really get on/like them/want to be with them.

sounds perfectly reasonable to me. good luck, and keep us posted.

Hi,

Try to get rid of her. She´s a very dump person.
Well, I would tell you more about my opinion but I´m from Germany and my english is´nt good enough to describe what I think but I´m sure I will learn it here.

Good luck

You should definitely make it absolutely, 110%, crystal clear that you have no problem with her being afro-american and that that was just a miscommunication.

What I have noticed about a lot of Christians is that while a lot of them don't follow the teachings of Jesus as closely as I think one should in order to call oneself a Christian (I myself decided that it wasn't for me because in my experience "turning the other cheek" simply doesn't work and only led to more verbal, emotional and occasionally physical abuse), some of them use the religion to hold themselves to a higher standard than they would otherwise. If it seems strange to you that someone could be a trained killer in the army and still worship a God that is supposed to love all things, it might well be the case that an army-life was the only means open to them due to financial reasons and they use Christianity as a way to keep themselves from degenerating into really horrible scum (off-topic for a sec: this is something I can respect... what I have no sympathy for are the people who feel like they can do whatever they want because "...I can just get it all forgiven on Sunday"). Anyway, if it seems hypocritical to you, it might be a good idea to really determine what God means for your gf and how He figures into her life. I mean it has to be a very cautious and carefully-worded discussion on your part, but it would probably be very helpful to clear up some misconceptions for both parties.

I go along with what vetivert said, Ante. I'd also say that as far as her not understanding the problems AS cause you, I wouldn't hold that against her. To be honest, that's how most people think; there's no getting around it, and it's not a function of their lack of intelligence. Unfortunately, it's you who will have to be the most accommodating if you want a relationship (though I realise there's obviously a limit to how far you can take that). Maybe it's best to let her accept how you are, without you justifying it within an AS context.

Anyway, I hope things work out for you.

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You must remember that with Christianity, it is based on Judiasm. Just because Jesus says so does not mean you can simply ignore the original teachings from the 'father'. The original Jewish version of God is that of a powerful fellow who backed one side in war and did not necessarily condemn the act itself. Christianity is based completely on Judiasm and therefore cannot completely ignore the past when the two doctrines come into full conflict. You must also remember the golden rule: Treat others how you would want to be treated. While it may be true you wish for peace, it is also true that if others do you harm you must protect yourself. This is the difference that most Christians recognize. Pacifism leads to death - we must protect the less able from the vicious just as we would desire to be protected when we are weaker and incapable of defending ourselves.

So which wars did the big fellow back one side in? What if the 'bad' side where his followers and the good side werent or are all non-Christians/ Jew's automatically the 'bad' side by default?