Is it common....

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For an aspie to get obsessed with a romantic interest, to an <b>extreme</b> degree?

I don't usually feel strongly, but when I do, as in this case, the feelings take me by storm and I don't have any idea what to do with them, how to control them, and so on. People have told me to simply not think about the person in question. The only way for me to do this is to get obsessed with something else, which hasn't happened.

I have no tact when I fall for someone, I do not know how to hide my feelings or play 'hard to get', or to pretend that I do not care for the person. It scares them away, and then I have to deal with the pain of seeing them and still not being able to hide the way I feel.

This is all compounded by the fact that I am clueless when it comes to 'reading' another person's interest or lack of it. Unless they come right out and tell me- directly- or do something very unmistakable, I have no idea whether they feel the same way or not.

i thought i was the only one like that! i've done it three times already, so i guess it's not too uncommon. i'm glad to know that someone does the same thing.

i know exactly what you're talking about.

It's possible for an autistic to get obsessed with a crush. I know a boy (who's also autistic) who is obsessed with me and was for quite a while, so yes.

Mich

Yup, that's my problem all over.
I've gotten much better at hiding it though.
But my friends still say i'm as transperant as glass.

Don't worry, even NTs act pretty stupid when they're on that inital high (in terms of the socially correct things to do)
But once it passes things might be better.

I tend to try and avoid the person until it kind of sinks in a bit.
Then i have a reasonable chance of not acting like an idiot around him or her.

I'm still pretty bad tho. Just ask one of my friends i've had a thing for ages.
and I still like this straight girl who hates me. I just avoid her and ignore it tho.

Sometimes I think we should just not like people.

I have loved this guy for two years now and he's really mad about it. I think that part of the problem was that I didn't even realize how I felt, for some time, I just had the oddest feeling when I was around him, like I wanted him to stay around. He is the ONLY person I've found that I never, ever get tired of, even after hours on end or seeing him on a constant, daily basis. By the time I figured out that I was crazy over him, it was too late...

This sounds really ret*d, but that is the way I am, often unaware of my feelings, or there is just a sense of discomfort (or satisfaction or contentment) that I can't put a finger on.

Anyway, having realized it, I now cannot turn it off. At least I won't have to worry about feeling this way about anyone else!

This has happened to me too. I become very focused on one relationship and shut out any possibility for any other relationships to form.
It is especially bad when it is a friend and you can not determine wether they feel the same way.

ahh!
yeah, this has happened to me many a time.
maybe i should add certain girls to the obsession list topic we had on here ages ago lol
so yeah, i think aspies get addicted to some sorts of people the same way we do to..stamps or whatever.

Yes I can say too that I've had strangely intense obsessions with other people over the years. 1992, 1996, and 1998 to be exact. In fact, I almost got into BIG trouble and expelled from school back in 1992 for an obession I had with one person.

I dunno. Its quite common for guys to be obessed with females. Most stalkers infact or males. I guess hormones play a role in why more males then females become obsessed with people. Females tend to be more mature, and can control their emotions better. As for being obsessed I had a teacher 4 years ago when I was a junior in HS. She was about 25, great smile, and very sexy. All the kids thought she was hot and some even hitted on her including me of course. I mean I tried flirting with her like saying stuff I wanted to be in her class, or she looked nice today (which btw when I told her she looked nice she would chuckle and say thanks) I was always suprised how she handled it. Im sure she knew that she was young and pretty and it's common for guys to flirt. Anyways I took it too far. I used to hit on her all the time, and one time just joking to see what she would say since another kid did this and got yelled at I asked her "so can I have your phone number" She told me to get out of the room lol. I knew that made her mad so the next day I did the right thing and told her sorry for acting like that which she said thanks, and that she said she was going to call my mom I'm sooooo glad I told her sorry or else I would have been so embarrased at home.

not everyone is as obsessed as some people i could mention, letsgo.

is there the slightest chance that you will NOT reply to a post with something about hot chicks, letsogoblues?

it's getting more dreary and offensive by the minute.

V

hot chicks anyone?

http://www.kfc.com/

enough already

dunc

Sometimes its hard to let go of those that don't want you yet at the same time you wish to be a part of their lives, then its really hard for those you find next in your life to deal with these things when your still stuck in the past with wistful thinking.

Last edited by aspergian_mutant on 22 Feb 2005, 6:18 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Well I think kathleen England is cute. They say I post about her too much.

why do you keep posting her?

Anyway, I've been obsessed with a few crushes in my life, I think it's more about growing up than having AS.

A few years later I relised these people were losers anyway. All part of growing up.

part of growing up, hale bopp? oh dear - i'm destined to be peter pan, then.

i ALWAYS get obsessed with whoever is the man of the moment. always. it's horrible. i wish i could be more balanced about it, but i don't know how. i'm sure it's been the death knell for most if not all of my relationships (had lots of them, never last).

they seem to be able to cope with my obsession when it's...erm...how do i put this? ah. when it's manifested hormonally, shall we say. funny, that.

V

Vivi,

I tend to be the same way with women I feel strongly about, and I would be surprised if this didn't have something to do with Asperger's Syndrome. I have managed to avoid such obsessions recently, however, as I have become increasingly cautious in allowing myself to have feelings for women.

One of the things that I find the most attractive in a woman is knowing that she has strong feelings for me or admires some aspect of my personality. Since I have recently dealt with a string of women who thought I was "perfect" until meeting me in person, I tend not to take a potential relationship too seriously until I have a very clear indication from the woman that her feelings are genuine.

It seriously distresses me to find how much emphasis most women place on something as superficial as social poise, but I suppose it is merely the instinctual counterpart to most men's fixation on physical attraction. In any event, it all serves to reinforce the notion that my perpetual feeling of alienation is justified.