Need advice with Phase II

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I gave some advice on http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt63808.html

unfortunately, Phase II is a bit more troublesome.

For those not familiar with the metaphor, here's my outline.
For those who don't play video games where boss battle strats are commonplace, bear with me.

Boss: Love Interest

Phase I: Friendship
Phase II: Romance
Phase III: ...Maintainance? Dunno, perhaps it's just a two phase predicament.


So I have a really really really big crush on a girl at my school. I used my own advice about 2 months ago, got lucky, and now have my first friend of the opposite sex / first friend who hasn't taken advantage of me.

I now AIM with her every night, we talk every day, and go to social gatherings every now and again with a bunch of other friends. I love spending time with her, we make eachother laugh, and for once I've felt completely normal on this otherwise godforsaken earth.

...But now I'm lost. I didn't need anyone to tell me before or after the diagnosis that I have trouble with social cues. Is it too soon to hint that I'm interested in something a little more serious? ...I don't even have good questions to ask. I'm just lost for words and looking for suggestions.

Of additional complication: she's Bi. I'm fully supportive of this, and it doesn't make me think any less of her, but I'm often lost in internal conflict over whether the addition of her "attraction to women too" changes the rules of the game.

And the other complication is of course that I havent told her that I have AS. I'm certain that I should eventually, as a friend and/or something more in the future. But yet again, I have no idea how that would work out.

I'm going crazy, and can't get the image of my beautiful Dulcinea out of my head!


PS. That is not her name, that is a literary reference which I would like to assume some of you know.

PPS. The above poll is my continued way of trying to introduce myself to the community. It's less about attention seeking as much as it is just trying to establish myself as more than a faceless plank of wood. (Super kudos to whoever can name the source.)

No advice from me and no kudoes for me (do you enjoy Plank on Ed, Edd, and Eddy?). Just know that I enjoy your posts and wish you well.

Unless you suspect that this female is aspie...google nonverbal communication and see if you can recognise any of the "I am attracted to you" signs from her behavior. Some of the big ones are supposed to be....

1)Touching you in anyway...the more private the area of the stronger the attraction but even the arm counts and can be very casual brushing up against you,etc.(However, just to make it more complicated...sometimes they flirt just because they like attention and could careless about the guy)

2)mimicking your body movements...crossing her arms when you do, playing with the straw in her glass when you do,etc

3)NOt talking much about other guys she finds attractive....if she only thinks of you as a BFF(male girl friend), she wont hesitate to go all gushy over some cute guy but if she likes you as a possible boyfriend, she wont want to scare you away(this i=does not apply if she just talks about other guys to try and make you jealous...dang, people are complicated)


Here is the really messed up thing....some times a female wont want to date you because she likes you TO Much as a friend
It is easier for some to find a "date" then a true friend and she maybe afraid that if the BF thing doesn't work out, she will lose her best friend in you. I know guys don't believe this when we tell them, but it is true. Even bringing up the attraction can mess things up.

I wish I could help more but you picked a tough situation.

Well, I'm still in the dark. I guess the easiest way to figure this out is the same easy way to find out whether your ticking package is a time bomb: just see how things turn out. This thursday, (I'm doing something I never thought I would ever hear myself say,) I'm accepting her invitation to a thursday night dance lesson.

Swing... seems complicated... but I'll take my chances if it raises my chances.

Worst Scenario: I'll look like an idiot to someone that matters to me, and a room full of strangers.

Best Scenario: I tread water, get to dance with her, possibly ask her to Prom (whole nother battle, but it should be easier than dancing.)

It seems win-win in the long run, embarassment being the only thing I'm risking.

Well, perhaps your clummsines will just indear you to her....some of us girls are suckers for vulnerable guys. Make it work for you

Good luck and get swinging