Problem attracting/repeling the right/wrong types of women

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I am unsure why I seem to get attention from certain types of women. These types tend to the less than clean cut and/or promiscuous. I state/act/present myself as a non-recreational substance user and highly monogamous, yet most messages I receive seem to come from them. Conversely, the types of women I talk to that would appear to be a good match for me tend to not want to put much effort into forming/maintaining a relationship because they take such actions as disappearing for a week or more at a time simply because they did not feel like it (if they had important business to take care of, I would not take issue, but this is purely from apathy.) This is even more puzzling, because they openly state that they find me to be attractive and charismatic and that they are interested in a loving relationship. If anyone more experienced has any tips on things I can change, I would appreciate the advice. I would also like to add that every one of the girls I have liked have had relationship issues (which I suppose is normal) which seem to have caused them to want a relationship but not feel like it is worth the effort.

hmn. .

I don't know whether I'd be considered clean cut or promiscuous--or less than either of those--but I do know that I would have no problem not seeing someone I was attracted to and specifically interested in a romantic relationship with, for long chunks of time. . . as long as I was not actually in a relationship with them.

And I'm pretty monogamous, as they go.

Maybe the real problem is clarity in type and degree of relationship?

What do you mean by "non-recreational substance user?"

Does that mean you're doing hard drugs?

No, it is my way of including the use of drinking alcohol and smoking along with drug users. I can tolerate someone who drinks small amounts of alcohol occasionally, because alcohol is a normal substance to consume (like in ice cream or ripe bananas, for instance,) so it is a gray area. If any women have ever experienced a loss of interest in forming a relationship, despite it being something you would like to have and having someone you really like and who is compatible with you available, please state your reasons.

Totally know what you mean. >.< I seem to attract girls I often don't like much, or only like as friends....

As for your problem attracting sluts: promiscuous girls are "friendly" in that they tend to hit on tons of people so I wouldn't take it personally.

If you put "non-recreational substance abuser" on your profile, people will automatically assume that you either:

smoke weed every day because you have to
are into hard drugs like E, amphetamines, methamphetamine, cocaine, crack, heroin, etc.

So if you have something that suggests those things, you're gonna have a hell of a time trying to attract a girl who is clean and monogomous.

Surprisingly enough, most people don't think that alcohol and cigarettes are drugs, because they are legal. By substance abuser, they mean illegal drugs.

I don't say it like that, I specifically say I don't smoke or drink or uses drugs.

ok then.

Attracting women is still a lot better than attracting no women.

If you experience a loss of interest, it is no longer something you would like to have.

There are plenty of reasons for that status to change, the most obvious ones having to do with learning something new about the guy or learning something new about one's self.

She may not wish to explain these reasons to you, or have to defend them logically; defending emotionally based decisions logically is often very hard to do, especially without hurting a friend. . . and being in a position where one is expected to explain them can feel a lot like being pressured to change them.

That seems reasonable, but how does that factor in inconsistent interest? Your explanation makes sense if you have interest and then it is gone, but not when you lose interest for days or weeks at a time and then pick it back up again in at least semi-regular intervals. I have friends that do this with other things, like games or learning something, but this is because they are bored and are willing to do anything to alleviate their boredom, even if what they try to do is not very interesting and they know they will get bored again in a short amount of time.

In my situation though, it seems to happen at random, because there can be no real substance to prior conversation or even a very successful one (based on how they say they feel, which is pleased, generally due to being happy/smiling/laughing.) When a girl does something that I find to be extremely offensive (like cruelty and demeaning behavior) though, I tell them directly and confirm that there should be no further discussions between us, so I guess that is why I have trouble grasping being so inconsistent and indirect.