Is it really tru....

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Lately Ive been approached by women who at first act somewhat interested but THEN make it clear to me that an actual
relationship is not an option and that all they can offer me is frienship. Honestly though, Im really just not interested in platonic friendships with women right now. I have a few (platonic)female friends but Im NOT desiring of any more friends likethat. I suppose its given that I want a gf(and I want it NOW TBPH ); and while there are multiple reasons for me wanting a relationship(like somebody to share a Living space with)the main reason Im feeling slight desperation is that I want somebody to f*ck(and NO, a ho/escort/stripper will NOt do it for me). So this is the point: Ive read anecdotes suggesting that actively looking for a relationship is in itself a barrier to it actually happening AND having the attitude of not settling for anything Less than a romantic relationship is somehow offputting and makes it impossible for a relationship to happen. Can someone enlighten me on WHY this is so-that is, IF its actually true or not. The nice thing about online dating is that it makes it MUCH, much easier to coneal ones true motives-unlike face to face where body language is a dead giveaway. TRouble is, when it comes to (my)online dating/profiles, th fish arent biting so-to-speak .

Well, how about linking your dating profiles, lots of females here to give you an opinion.
Can't hurt, right?

Maybe because they guess you're desperate? I like person to person interaction better because it improves person-to-person skills, and lets you 'appraise the package'. Words are the powertools of romance (or so I read somewhere). If you can adapt to talking face-to-face, you'll likely be able to acquire the skills inherently lacking in us ASers. That's what I think anyway.

Well, the thing is, desperation in men is Very obvious to women in person because they pick up on body language.
But nonetheless I was hoping for an answer to my original question about whether its a bad idea to have the attitude of not settling for anything less than a (sexual/romantic)relationship with women and if platonic is all they offer than decline and keep lookin'...........

Sounds strange that your approached by females who, in other words mean, I want us to be friends but there is no chance of us dating.

You shouldn't conceal your true motives. And it's an oversimplification to say that some women are looking for relationships and some aren't. Most women wouldn't be able to tell you what it is that they want, because they don't know whether they want a relationship until they actually meet a guy they want to be with. You just have to be that guy. That means you can't be desperate. Desperation is caused by a lack of confidence. I also don't have a relationship, and I want one. But I'm not desperate, because I know that I deserve to be with someone, because I'm a good person. All I have to do is meet her (and in the case of a current situation, she needs to not already have a boyfriend ).

edit: to add, with the girl who has a boyfriend, I'm trying to be her friend. Not just because I want to get my foot in the door in case she dumps her boyfriend, but because I'm interested in her. She's smart and someone I'm comfortable being around. After all it will look better for me if she knows that I was willing to be her friend, instead of forgetting about her because I couldn't have her right away.

Wellll, the reason for my feelings of desperation at the moment have to do with the fact that I have exerted Considerable effort for the last 2 months to try and meet someone to start a relationship. Unfortunately my efforts have NOT paid off so Im feeling frustrated(theres also the sexual frustration mind you ). Thats what has led me to feel desperate in the past-trying VERY hard and not succeeding-as though nothing I do seems to work . I honestly dont think there's anything that can be done because No Matter HOW many times you or anyone else tells me that I should not feel the way I do, telling me such does NOTHING to actually change how I feel. What Im saying is that when initial condfidence does not pay off, and doesnt result in getting what you want, such experiences can errode ones confidence you see.

I know what you mean. I've been at it for a lot longer than two months. I get frustrated and lonely, but the reason that I haven't lost my confidence is that I try to counteract my failures with self-improvement. I've been slowly learning how women respond to me--when they like what they see and when they don't. I've learned some about how not to dress, and what body language not to use. I've learned about aggressive and submissive body language, and what it feels like. I exercise to keep getting in better shape. There's a lot more too.

I couldnt agree more. In fact here's my take on the Dating/Mating game: Lookin' for Man is like going shopping, lookin' for a Woman is like going fishing

I am probably in this situation as well.

Well, its somewhat comforting to know Im not the only one .

Yet, it still isn't a good idea to mention sex on a dating site...unless it's a sex finder site. I mention liberalism, South Park, etc., to cover up the fact that premarital sex is a big issue for me.

If one puts on an ad "I'm looking for someone who will have premarital sex with me", and little else, nobody will answer it.

Well OF COURSE NOT! Im not That clueless . I wasnt really talk ing about *sex* per se as much as the expectation that a romantic relationship is NOT out of the question(initally).