Are you ever afraid to tell someone you love them?

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I have been... general social anxiety makes me seize up before I can say it...

Yeah. Especially after my dream.

I can't believe I'm seeing this thread!

I just went through this less than an hour ago.

The mastery of words was bequeathed
to me the first day I did speakthed.
But when it comes to a girl,
my mind goes awhirl,
so rather than sonnets, I squeekthed.

...Oh, and then it turned out she was bisexual. So although I have decent odds when I one day manage to confess my love, I'll have to contend with some pretty hot women too.

Cheer up, if you really love her, you'll conquer your fear when the moment is right. What do they say? True love... conquers something. I don't know. But you will when the time is right.

NTs think they have reason to fuss,
but they've never heard about us.
We dont get girls with our quirks.
They get girls and they're jerks!
...At least AS is considered to = genius.

Yep. I CANNOT be the first to say it.

Yes. I struggled to tell my ex-girlfriend the first time. Also struggled to give her the first kiss.

Not really, neither have I ever told someone that (in "that way"). But I've experienced similar, and my advice is to do it and get it over with. There's no use wasting time, and she'll at least appreciate (honestly) that you spoke your thoughts/feelings instead of keeping quiet.

It's difficult, but I don't struggle too hard with it.

That is I'm not afraid to--not in the least--it's just that it's literally difficult for me to say those words in her presence.

But, oh, how I do love her...

(She may love me too--I don't actually know for sure--but that's another post for another time.)

The bipolar person who I was just dating said that to me first and I was thrilled. I told him later that I loved him (or thought I did). Then he broke up with me over the phone after telling me the night before that I might be The One. We said it way too early and it blew up in our faces.

I am the opposite here. I will tell them the minute I feel that I am compatible and that I connect with them. Sure, they might be caught off-guard at first, but it's one of those things that is rather said sooner than later.

It's a risky thing because it raises the stakes so much. If you break up soon afterward, the other person is hurt so much more and will be less likely to want to have anything to do with you afterward. I know other people who did this. I'm more worried about hurting others this way than being hurt. Also, if you say it too soon and the other person doesn't feel that way, it will chase them off.

don't say "I love you" unless she says it first.

nope, I can come out and say it as soon as the feelings are there and known to me

Of all things, don't take a policy of waiting for the other person to say it. If he plays the same game it'll obviously never get said.

My rule is to wait until the other person knows me just well enough to realize that my feelings for her are an highly personal expression of value and not a claim on her body or her time or anything else.

This is the key.

I think that's the key. The first time... For me it's always the first time doing something that gives me trouble (wether it be in love, or general life). After that it's smooth sailing.

Also, I grew up in a very non-verbal, non-contact household. While I crave the contact and the chatter, I'm no good at it, and if I get put on the spot I freeze up. Girls always take this the wrong way and assume it means I don't reciprocate even if I do. So now there's the fear of being misunderstood to pile on top of all the other fears.

I guess I've never been in the position to say it (if your meaning romantically at least). For those words to come out of my mouth though, we have to have a hell of a lot of trust, a very good connection, and I have to see that we have a definite future together - to me, "I love you" is a contract and a way of expressing everything that it means in terms of your commitment to them. And, if that makes me antiquated or if women will leave me after a couple months because I refuse to say it unless I mean it - I'm fine with that. There are plenty of other ways to make someone feel special anyway.