So here is my personal situation...

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I met this girl in one of my college clasees about 5 weeks ago. I don't even notice her at first; I sat in the back, she sat closer to the front.

Everything is normal until I notice her handing a form to the instructor. Lo and behold, it's the same kind of form that I give to my teachers to recieve accomodations due to my AS (extra time during tests, notetaking, etc. + info on AS).

Then I actually look at her. She's Aspie. I can tell just by looking. We talked for a bit (or tried to; I thought she was someone else I met from school; that was a sucky experience). Didn't really get much that first week, but I was intrigued. After all, I'd never met another Aspie before, let alone a girl.

Second week, I sit next to her in class, try to determine her interests. First thing she says is "reading". Awesome. Same here (I am a person who defines himself through his ability to read; reading is my single greatest pride and joy, my appetite for the written word is what made me the person I am. Aside over.) I ask what kind of books. She likes historical fiction. Awesome. I've read Romance of the Three Kingdoms (Chinese historical fiction) cover to cover countless times in two years, and flipped through it randomly countless times more. History geek in general. Same with her too.

So we share a lot of interests.

Great sense of humor too; she laughs at a lot of random stuff.

So it goes for a few more weeks; we exchange numbers, I call her every few days (at first, not really, mainly because she kept her phone off most of the time...now I can get through most of the time (as in the phone rings at the very least)

Er...um...

Actually went to her 19th b-day party, met her mother and father, had a pretty good time. (They knew ALL about me, or at least my name and that I was talking to this girl). Awesome people, awesome family (if they're not ALL aspie, they might as well be - the oldest brother is a philosophy geek, the youngest brother is a gamer geek, and the whole family is intellectual in general)

So...now what?

Basically, is there any sort of behaviors, etc, that would signify a reciprocation of interest? She sometimes seems indifferent, but that's usually when she's having that "own little world" moment (which happens to me a lot too)

Eh, not feeling like such a great strategist right now

a date? good start, and you can always see where it goes from there. Just don't force it, act comfortably, and see how she reacts. Good luck...

That's pretty much what I had in mind too, I just want to know what to look for I guess.

Let me ask though - when it's reached a certain "tipping point", what would that point be? Again, I'm not sure what sort of "signs" I can look for, other than the fact that she generally seems to enjoy talking to me. (of course, that's a good sign in itself!)

It's really hard to find that "tipping point" moment sometimes. You should definitely ask her out on a date - dinner and a movie or whatever. You seem to enjoy talking to her, so dinner and something else afterwards is a good bet. A lot of NT chicks make it really obvious if they are into you on the first date. This girl might not, but hopefully you'll be able to tell somehow.

I am a great conversationalist one-on-one, assuming I like the girl and we have something in common, but my problem has always been taking it to the physical level. This is where AS rears its ugly head. We aren't good at non-verbal communication. Sex is non-verbal communication, but it is straightforward, unlike INITIATING sexual activity which is very subtle. If the date seems like it's going well, put your arm around her or hold her hand. If she likes it, you're golden. As far as the kiss goes, there are two basic strategies as I see it... you can either wait for or manufacture the perfect moment and kiss her then, which can be really smooth and a beautiful memory for both of you, or you can take the "just do it" approach, and while it might feel a little forced, if you both want the kiss to happen, you'll forget that it was forced as soon as you start kissing. One time I was having so much trouble taking it to the physical level with this girl, and one of my friends gave me the best advice, which was the "just do it" advice. Making the first move is very hard for just about everyone, and sometimes you have to "just do it." Our first kiss was awkward, but as soon as we kissed, we were off to the races, so it didn't really matter.

Hey, awesome to hear!

Just remember, regardless if she's on the spectrum or not, don't see her as an aspie female, see her as an intresting person

Also..a date! hmm.. how about browsing a 2nd hand book store together?

You've already taken the hardest step, which is to say hi, and you've already even met her parents (also hard)

The fact that her parents already knew who you were probably meant that she's been talking about you. If they were friendly, then probably the talking was about good things

So go for it, you might as well

I commend you for making such an effort to get to know this girl. And I say just go for it. You're already halfway there.

Keep in mind, though, if she is Aspie she might not understand that you want to be a little more serious about her. I had an NT guy ask me out on a date once, but I didn't pick up on the fact that it was a "real date". I thought it was just dinner...I guess I tend to think that every guy only wants to be " just friends".

Don't overthink things, and just have fun.

My best to you.

I've found I can tell when people are AS.

Maybe it's because I'm very mildly affected--so little as to be able to pass for an eccentric, but so much as to be able to recognize the traits in others. I remember playing a card game with some friends a few months back in the common area of our dormitory, and this random girl who nobody seemed to know just walked in and asked if she could join. I could tell by her mannerisms, by the way she walked, by her movements...I've also studied the voice patterns common to many Aspies and I knew immediately that she had the condition.

Sure enough, when I mentioned the girl's odd behavior to one of my friends later on, she confirmed that the girl was an "out and proud" Aspie.