I Think I Like Her TOO MUCH (please help)

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jamesohgoodie
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30 Apr 2008, 11:08 pm

so okay, some advice.

i got burned really bad in my last relationship, and while i wasn't ready again for something serious i didn't want to be alone feeling sorry for myself. so for the last year i've been casually dating, and it's gone surprisingly well for me. i have one regular "bene-friend" and have had a fling or two here and there. everything's been laid out on the table, everyone's had fun, and at this point in my life i'm rather enjoying myself.

so the prospect of a "bene-friend" relationship has come up with a gal pal of mine who i've been flirting with hardcore for a while but didn't realize was really interested in me. she's never casually dated and she's rather gung-ho about the idea. we agreed to see where it went when i took her out for her birthday later this week.

...well we both got so excited we kinda jumped the gun and had sex already. granted we'd both really wanted to up to that point but i was planning to make my move during the birthday.

now i'm in a weird position. we have the same circle of friends and they know we've been attracted to each other for a while now (none of them were surprised we arranged a date), so i'm wondering if there's gonna be outside pressure. also i REALLY like this girl. i mean i REALLY REALLY like this girl. i dunno if i want to be exclusive but i do know i haven't had this much fun with a person in god knows how long. but despite my liking her i'm pretty sure i'm not ready for another serious relationship, and she liked the ideal of casually dating so much i'm not sure i should whip out seriously dating in front of her so soon.

i know it's a tricky tightrope i'm walking here, but i was wondering if anybody has any general advice.


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Pobodys_Nerfect
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01 May 2008, 1:40 am

I'd say just have fun with her and if she sticks around then "great" otherwise you'll get burnt like the last one.



MR_BOGAN
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01 May 2008, 4:36 am

Go for it, you only live once. :thumleft:

It sounds like you have genuine feelings for her, so follow your heart.

I'm the same I can get really hung up on woman, can't help it.


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MastaVR6
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18 May 2008, 9:19 pm

I would say you should impart you are enjoying your time together, it's the most fun you've had in a while and like where it is. You have plenty of time for both of you to find out for yourselves if this is what you both want. :wink:



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18 May 2008, 10:54 pm

Just remember that the hotter the star burns, the faster it dies...



Veresae
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19 May 2008, 12:58 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Just remember that the hotter the star burns, the faster it dies...


Not true if you're an aspie with limerence. That can last a looong time....



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19 May 2008, 11:09 pm

I think I may have had this problem in the past. When I fall for someone, I fall hard. I wonder if it's an aspie thing. :?


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jamesohgoodie
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20 May 2008, 12:08 am

Social_Fantom wrote:
I think I may have had this problem in the past. When I fall for someone, I fall hard. I wonder if it's an aspie thing. :?


i think it might be. while in this relationship i've had to fight every instinct i normally have cause i know i'd be moving way too fast. last week i came THIS CLOSE to asking her to move in with me and we've been going out a month. granted she's having apartment trouble and i wanted to help, but that's still way too soon. so constantly in the back of my head i'm like "shut up!"


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Social_Fantom
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20 May 2008, 12:19 am

I always had a problem with knowing how fast too fast was and not giving them enough space and I think those were the reasons I blew every chance I've ever had of being in a relationship. If I were to have another chance to be in a relationship, I'm afraid I would blow it again. :(


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jamesohgoodie
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20 May 2008, 2:52 am

Social_Fantom wrote:
I always had a problem with knowing how fast too fast was and not giving them enough space and I think those were the reasons I blew every chance I've ever had of being in a relationship. If I were to have another chance to be in a relationship, I'm afraid I would blow it again. :(


yea, but you run that risk every time. doesn't mean you should stop.

i kinda got the voice to shut up by just being open and honest. instead of saying "hey, would you move in with me?" and put a bunch of un-needed pressure on the relationship in it's early stages, i instead said "hey, wanna hear a REALLY BAD idea that i couldn't get out of my head?". i seriously told her my thoughts and she said "yea that'd be a bad idea" and i went "i know right?". in the end it brought us closer cause she was glad i was being so open with her. no pressure, you laugh it off, out of sight, out of mind.


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