Obsessive Crushes

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I think understand almost completely what you are dealing with. In my case it's happens alot. When i dont have something else to completely consume my life, i find my self falling into obssesive crushes one after another. I can even tell when one begins. After it gets full blown its so hard to stop. I guess it would be ok if i didn't try to act on my feelings, unfortuneatly im not so inclined. I become a complete and total fool for the object of my obsession and everyone knows it too. Its easy to say control yourself but its really not as easy as it sounds. My problem is that I keep giving myself this false hope that maybe just maybe they harbor feelings towards me, when in reality anything they felt for me was either just friendliness or crushed by my enthusiasm. I feel like times like these ruin my life, it throws me into a hyper sensative bipolar state, depressed or elated by the smallest things. I honestly hate it. I really just want to know how to stop myself from getting into obsessive crushes in the first place. Ive been thinking alot about it, and i gathered 3 ways to crash me crushes.
Consummation- which is the fulfillment of the obsession, or reciprocation of feelings and the start of a relationship.
Starvation- which is destroying all hopes of reciprocation, its usually the harder route because you either have to convince yourself that they cant or will never reciprocate, or they must do something or become someone that disappoints your obsession, and causes you to become disillusioned.
Transferal- Transferring the obsession and its intensity on something or someone else
:-/ Good Luck!

I rekon that the false hope and continual renewal of you're thoughts that you actually might have a chance this time is the worst thing about those situations. Especially if they start hinting that something might happen - or at least that's how you interpret their actions.

I know exactly what you're talking about, Flaxibon. I've had obsessive crushes on people that last for nine months or more, since I was 12. There's one girl friend of mine I've liked for three years, and I've had a crush on Angelina Jolie for almost five years now.

I have the same exact probem but I can't make mine go away, and I',m not sure if I even want it to go away. Never know, that "transferrel" bit might happen.

I never had a crush of any kind in my entire life. Sure, there were girls I liked, but none of them ever liked me back. So when I'd find out that a girl didn't like me, I'd tell myself: "She doesn't like you; get over it!" And I always did. So basically, and crush I did have lasted less than a day.

I've had crushes on people before and every time I develop a crush on someone I hate it as I automatically convince myself that nothing will happen. This is probably a good thing though in a way cos then I get over them quickly, its just the going through them in the first place that I can't deal with.

I have crushes with people that I think we have stuff in common. Kara @ my work is a prime example. She likes the same things I do, yet she doesnt like me. I've had crushes on lots of people.

If any girl is intrested in me go to myspace.com/kinghunter or call me @ (number removed for saftey reasons)

I just wish there was a Aspie dating site.

Hunterton.

There is! Check http://www.wrongplanet.net/romance

I wouldn't post my phone number if I were you. Someone can Google it, and find you on this site. But it's up to you, I guess.

It's a great idea, but you may wish to change this FAQ answer.


P.S. I see now that this is in beta; that makes such a hilariously blatant lie forgivable and indeed excusable. Still, you might consider changing it before you're out of beta, at least until you have more than twenty-six members.

I have had an obsessive crush before. I am not good at picking the right women either.

Flaxibon, I understand EXACTLY what you are going through because I have suffered from the same problem my whole life. I don't call them crushes, though, I call them people fixations, or people obsessions, because I am not always romantically interested in the people I fixate on. These fixations will consume my whole life and my every waking thought. It's maddening!

The only way I have been able to help myself is to try to have several fixations going at once, that way you don't fixate too much on any one person (and scare them to death), and also try to fixate on "things" rather than "people." I have found it impossible to try to stop myself from fixating, it's like there's a certain amount of fixating I must do every day and if I don't fixate that amount I start to get agitated and end up fixating even more intensely.

here is a thread I started about it:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/asperger.htm ... ic&t=10010

Oh, gawd, every crush I have that's at all serious is obsessive. It's terrible because I'm so picky. If the girls I like don't have boyfriends then they're super busy with school, work, homework, and college apps. And the girls that do like me (there are plenty), I usually don't like. GAAAA! There's actually a girl right now who I really, really wish would call me.

Blah. I sound like a 14-year old emo girl on her livejournal.... >.<

I agree 105% with you on this! In fact, I'm in the middle of such a situation ATM. I like her and she gives off some kind of hints that I unfortunately cannot interpret. It may be interest in a relationship or it may just be my imagination messing with reason.
Whatever she means by them, I believe I have to figure it out before she loses interest.

Sometimes being an aspie really sucks...

Hunterton Im going to remove the phone number from your post it's not safe to post your phone number in a public forum.