obviously they didn't post this before

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Hey, I get the feeling I'm not wanted here anymore... I've offended someone, and I'm sorry. I haven't been doing so great the last few days. I did not mean to offend anyone but from my experiences it's best to leave.... But at the same time I'm hoping you can please forgive me, I really don't have many friends who can understand me or who I can relate to on alot of these subjects. I also get the intention the moderator hates me because I think theyr cancelling half my posts on here. But I could be wrong about that. If I'm not wanted here could someone please lemme know something?

Yeah, your right. Look, I wasn't thinking clearly. I just found out friday my ex was kidnapped, beaten, raped, and murdered. I found out because, I had left her about 2 and a half yrs ago, and she had broken contact with me... I thought she was mad for the longest time, but I figured out that the reason she broke contact was because she couldn't deal with being just a friend.... I thought I did the right thing when I left her at first, but eventually I came to realise I made a mistake, I feel I gave up too soon, gave into the pressure of being in those bible belt mountains where I felt like I was dangerously out of place. But it wasn't as bad as I made it out in my head, sure alot of crazy rednecks wanted to hang me. But I had my friends, I had my girl, I did have people who cared about me, and I was about to get back with her when all this happened. I dunno who did this, I can only hope the blue suits find the sob before I do..... I feel like no woman can ever mean to me what Kayla did *sigh*.... If I hadn't left I could have been there, to protect her. But I wasn't, and it was my fault.

no, me and the mod haven't gotten into any arguments. It's just that I got a vibe from her that she was really annoyed with me in her last post to me, and lotsa my post haven't gotten through.

Look,..... I never wanted to talk about this here..... I seriously doubt any of you are feeling what I've been feeling like the past few days. But I really need some friends. Honestly, I still have doubts I'll ever meet another woman like Kayla. She was truely one in a billion..... I can't even hold a straight face and talk about this without wanting to break down.... I'd prefer not to talk about this right now.

I assume I'm the mod you are talking about? I'm sorry if I did something that made you think I was upset with you. I'm not at all. I hope you will accept my appoligy.

I'm so sorry to hear of what happened to you ex too. How horrible!

BeeBee

What happened to Kayla was horrible, but it was not your fault. The same thing could have happened to her even if the two of you were together. I hope they find the guy who did it and hang him.

Ok, I got it, I made a mistake. Are you gonna bring this up every time you write me?

Thanx for your support.......... I honestly dunno if I'll ever get lucky a 2nd time, but I feel like even if I did so what? It's not gonna be the same if I'm with someone else..... I do feel guilty, I hurt her feelings...... I dunno, I'll deal with it.

Don't blame yourself about what happened to your ex.

I understand how hard it must be for you, if that happened to me I don't know if I would be able to keep on going. It's absolutley awful. If you need someone to talk to, there are heaps of people here that will lend an ear.

I'm so sorry to hear what happened to your ex, I can't even begin to understand what you must be feeling about it. Thats an awful tragic thing to happen to somebody, I've been the victim of sexual abuse and the 'r' word in the past but at least my life was spared. I'm sure there are lots of us here who are willing to listen to you should you need to talk.