Telling a date you have AS, ADD etc..

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I believe I'm lower down on the AS spectrim and my ADD makes me hypoactive (makes me slow) so I can cover it well.

But also I believe in honesty and I might get given a bit of slack and understanding for some odd ball behavior.

The type of girl that would dump me for those reasons I don't think I would like her anyway. In a way a bit of a filter system.

Yea, but you have to be careful how you do it. Coming on to strong with the DX could make even the sweetest girl a little wary.

Just let it wander into conversation. If she mentions something weird you do, explain that its because of AS/ADD. Let her know exactly what it is, what it means for you, and with any luck, a great girl will see past the DX and accept it.

That trick works exceptionally well if the girl thinks a quirk of yours is cute.

You should probably wait for the second date. It may not be that she doesnt like you if she gets wary, but that she doesnt know what AS is or what the dx means.

I'd say just be yourself, but don't come out right away with the diagnosis. The first few dates (I'd say even the first month) are very touchy, and if the other person sees a potential problem it could be the end of it, not because they are shallow, but because they don't know you. Once they know you well enough, there will be some patience and understanding there.. hopefully anyway.

It's not dishonest if you're not faking yourself. You're being you, and you can go into the details of why you are how you are later, when she knows you better. It can even be made into a funny story or something, like "hey remember that time I did (insert thing here)... yeah, that was the AS talking right there."

I wouldn't say anything at first.

I can only say two things. One, I agree with everyone above - don't pretend to be someone you aren't, just don't out and lie about it.

And also, if anyone comes in here and says 'if s/he can't accent your asperger's, s/he's not worth your time,' ignore them. We're talking the first date here. You want them to know you and like you before you drop that on them.

I let my girlfriend know first thing...before we even started dating...so she would know what to expect. I agree that it can be a filter system, but it is also not really fair to the other person if you keep it from them.

say nothing, even in 100th date.

In my honest opinion? Don't tell her. Ever. Being successful at dating is all about honesty. That is, honesty about your good points. As a rule of thumb, never brag, and never point out your own flaws. Women like to tell you what's good and bad about you, rather than be told.

People also respect other people who admit their flaws...and I think AS is only a flaw if you make it one.

Well, I would say that it would be misinforming to not tell, but. . . Well. I tell when I'm having a hard time? Like explaining stimming when that happens, or answering questions.

For example, my Boyfriend is an Education/French major and he recently had to take a course on special Education. I took that chance to try to explain some things about my own issues, and how I experienced our educational system (we went to the same High School)

(on the other hand, I tend only to date people I have a friendship with first, and that makes things easier. )

On the first date? That's what I call "dumping a load". It's like your date saying her mother had been just diagnosed with cancer on the same day as your date and expecting some sympathy. Surely you can feel sympathy, but you're also thinking that it was definitely not the right time.

When is the right time? When she's actually looking in your medicine cabinet.

I think a caring person would accept you no matter what. That's the type of person that most people need anyway. I know with me I would find it helpful to know if a person had Aspergers or not, because I would understand more things about them if I knew they had it. Example: If I knew a person had Aspergers and they didn't make a lot of eye contact I would understand, but if they didn't have it I would think they didn't like me.

But why? When she finds out, you wont be a different person. If she's already attracted to the way you act, why explain the way you act?

Holding back the truth can be seen as being dishonest.

That's fair, but what truth are you holding back? If someone's attracted to your sense of humour, it's not dishonest to not say "I'm a funny guy". So if she's attracted to you and she's already comfortable with the way you act, why say "I have Aspergers"?