I am a literal thinker. I have trouble with the mere mis-wordings of phrases from some people even though I should instinctively know what they really mean..My literal mind has to take it seriously, and then there is another mental factory that must process what was really meant by a statement...sometimes if the two sides are not connecting there can be a big glitch in the way that I think.
My ASish boyfriend has many ASish traits, but he is not as literal a thinker as I am.
A trait he has that only developed in me over time is his tendency to be brutally honest with me, and that means telling me how attracted he feels to almost every female he sees as well as his...um...tastes as far as what he finds to be physically attractive...which means extremely high standards and a good deal different from how I look. I am not Asian, I never in a million years could be a super model...We were friends for years and I guess he was attracted to me when he did not have me..but because of the way he talks, I kinda have a complex about the fact that according to his standards, he must inevitably find me physically repulsive, and perhaps the only reason he is with me is because we both have ASish traits, and despite his extremely high standards, he is also extremely shy and has extreme difficulty talking to other females.
Anywhoo...although we have been good friends for years, and have been dating for 2 years, I am under the perilous impression that the minute a "legitimately attractive by his standards" girl comes along who pays the remotest bit of attention to her regardless of her personality, he will immediately ditch me for the female who lives more up to his physical standards...as at least 90% of all females are more attractive than I am...(I am moderately photogenic with proper lightingm but I am a "little brown wren" type with a sloppy figure.
It is one of the reasons I have a lot of anxiety when we have to be away from each other...because I feel like this person could easily come along at any moment...
So this contributes to my "anxious" attachment to him...and it kinda sucks...I don't want to lose him as a friend or a boyfriend...and I cannot automatically take for granted that he has feelings for me that could not instantaneously
be wiped out, even though we have been friends for years....
Anyone else in an AS/AS relationship where differing mental hangups cause problems?