Any males 40ish and above looking for possible LTR?

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Upon perusing the forums, it appears that a lot of people here are younger than my targeted age range which is 40ish and above.

So I figured, what the heck, take a leap of faith and start a new thread to discern if there are any males seeking what I seek.

I fully realize the best you can expect is a shot at a relationship - as it depends on the overall compatibility and synergy between two people which can only be determined by actually meeting and interacting in person (safely of course) over a period of time. In short, I do not have fairy tale unrealistic expectations.

My name is Leslie, and I am 46 year old NT woman. Here is a link to my profile on Aspie Affection. http://www.aspieaffection.com/showprofile.php?id=3529. The profile write up I used is from my Match.com account. I have found mainstream dating sites to be meat market. I prefer highly intelligent, sensitive men (the more intelligent, the more attractive they are to me) who are loyal and trustworthy. Although I wrote in my profile write up that my ideal match would be naturally affectionate and expressive, I am savvy enough to know that shy guys can be marvelous.

Moreover, I have the uncanny ability to break through to people and bring them out of their shell as I am extroverted. Personally I think shy, intelligent guys can be very sweet sometimes because they are not haughty, conceited Neanderthals who think they are God's gift to women. It has been my personal experience that still waters run deep.

Have you ever noticed how men (and women for that matter) who are pleased as punch with themselves are really not all that they purport to be?

End of the day, if you only judge a book by its cover - you might just miss a good read!

As Ever,
Leslie Lee - a Hopeful Romantic

Hi

I hope you find who you seek.

Good luck/fortune.

Yes we are here and you look like a nice person.

Autism is a disorder of neural development characterized by impaired social interaction and communication

People with Autism have an impaired ability to empathize with others - that is to say, we have little ability to comprehend how the people around us are feeling, or what their needs and expectations are, therefore we tend to respond inappropriately or not at all. Our internal world is dominated by a select and limited group of obsessive personal interests, which vary between individuals, but tend to be the only things we can focus on for more than brief periods - those interests however, tend to dominate our thoughts to the exclusion of all else and we become irritable and agitated when our focus on them is interrupted, for any reason whatsoever.

For this reason, personal relationships are almost always tenuous, fraught with stress and tragically short-lived. However 'normal' we might seem in the early stages of a romantic relationship, that normalcy will break down over time as the act becomes too much to sustain. Eventually you will be left with a partner who largely ignores you and resents being asked to tear themselves away from their own interests to feign enthusiasm for yours.

Oh, yes - the routines - because we suffer from impaired processing abilities, socializing is a tremendous strain which leaves us drained and surly after even fairly brief periods (many of us also have hypersensitivities to stimuli such as light and noise). As a result of all this we tend to live in a state of hyper-anxiety (thus the rocking and hand flapping) and create personal rituals and routines, so that as much of our daily lives as possible can be controlled, contained and predicted, cutting down on the number of unexpected encounters and events we are required to mentally process in the course of a day. When these routines are altered or interrupted we may become extremely upset as it can send us spinning into an anxiety attack.

Also because of these social disabilities and processing issues, conversation itself can be somewhat overwhelming, especially if it involves personal probing or hostility or pressure of any kind. The likely result of argument or interrogation is either an emotional and physical outburst, or a complete shutdown into silence. Open communication is a very tricky prospect and once another party is perceived as likely to become hostile, further communication is very nearly impossible, for the duration of what will thereafter be a very unhappy relationship.

Willard, I loved your post! Although you were borderline harsh, it was also right on the money for an aspie male. Very clever.

What you may not have considered, however, is that some women are more than willing to dry their entire load of laundry with a blow dryer, if it means that they have somebody to love and to trust.

Well said Willard.

I still missed exactly why she has a specific interest in aspies. If all she wants is a shy guy, why not crack a shy NT's shell instead?

I read her AA profile-or tried to. It was so LONG that I clicked out of it at the first opportunity. It appears she lives in Charlotte, North Carolina, and is a SOx auditor. SOx isn't on your feet, it's the onerous Sarbanes-Oxley Act that threw additional burdens of "reporting" on publicly traded corporations in the wake of Enron. The corporations had to hire legions of accountants to comply. She's one of them.

From what I read, she overestimates her ability to find a job "anywhere". Charlotte is a BIG banking/finance center, it's largely supplanted San Francisco as the "other New York", it's home to that quintessentially San Francisco company, Bank of America, which got purchased ages ago. Unless you are in San Francisco, Silicon Valley, or New York, it's likely that she won't find employment where you live.

I'm betting she has a "geek fetish", since she works around socially maladroit men (which accountants tend to be) all day everyday. However, I'm betting that her co-workers are NOT autistic. We tend to have a difficult time in huge corporations, unless it's Silicon Valley where we can program code all day.

So, she's got crossed signals. She thinks "autistic" equals "the shy guy down the hall I want to date", when that's not the case. He's just shy. WE, OTOH, are socially impaired, our brains can't handle social interaction. A shy guy will eventually love you. Most aspies can't, literally. The best we're good for is a screw buddy. And some of us can't even do THAT.

See what autistics are up against when we DO try and reach out? "Oh, he's SHY, how cute!" Women have totally unrealistic romance fantasies sometimes. I've been thinking of advertising for a brokenhearted woman on Craigslist, since they're the ones who usually just want sex.

Willard, Can I copy and paste your post to use as a screening process for potential suitors who all think I'm refreshingly intelligent, independent and qurkily shy? I wish I had a dollar for every delusional dude who thought I was his ideal woman just 'cus I think like a man, only to have his delusions of ideal blown apart of the reality of AS. I'm not quite the robot you describe when it comes to affection, but everything else is right on the money.

I sense a tactful jab or two.