Horrible break up has caused me to be more lost and confused

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I am really at a loss for words after a recent break up and I feel betrayed, hurt, and depressed and hopeless about any relationship in the near future. It was basically a long distance relationship she lives in Kentucky and I live 900 miles away in Rhode Island. I have learned now that this is probably my first mistake. We seemed to be extremely into each other. Then I guess there were some situations where I made some insensitive comments as us aspies tend to do. She tried to break up with me about three different times based on my angry behavior and yelling which I am currently trying to work on. I know I was not the best at the relationship probably not even close. This is really my first real girlfriend and I am 33 years old. She always took me back after I told her not to leave me. Now she claims she kept trying to show lack of interest to get me to go away. I cannot understand why people cannot be forward with me. This is not love when they do this to you and they are not your friend either.
She knew I had Aspergers and that I struggle with many things. She had virtually no understanding of me or AS traits.

I have dealt with depression, anxiety, and substance abuse problems mainly alcohol (sober 11 years). I have serious problems frustration and rage I guess. I am trying to get the help I need. I know my behavior is wrong and needs to change.

Here is the thing I had serious issues trusting this person. She had multiple facebook accounts with false last names. She messed with other people online while I was on the phone with her. Mainly tricking guys into thinking she was interested and stuff like that. She bashed on pretty much every recent boyfriend reading me messages from them. She claimed her mother was a crazy sociopath who conned people and sold prescription drugs, She told me she had been in relationships with 100 guys in her life at 33 years old. But she only had sex with one person who is the father of her child.

Now to top all this off she broke up with me last night and now she says she just got engaged today and she says she put a picture up on facebook showing the ring (which I think is the ring she told me she bought for $29). Needless to say I think she is lying. Another thing last night I made a joke that I might have a ghost (long story) and apparently she claims that she saw ghosts when she was a kid. She is deathly afraid of even hearing about this topic. She went all crazy on me and said she had to hang up and nothing was alright and she had to cry. Huh?! I know I should of not made a joke about this but come on I don't believe she ever saw any ghosts she made it up. It sounds like a good story. Creative I'll give it that. I thought aspies were more honest and did not manipulate and make up stories she does not seem AS as far as this goes. I am very forward and up-front and honest and do not manipulate.

I guess at this point I just cannot understand why I get people like this. It is like I have a target on me that says mess with me. Maybe it is because meeting people online for an LDR is not a good idea.

I just feel so lost and deperessed and confused that true love continues to elude me. I have become dissilusioned to my life. And I am just becoming too desperate to even be attractive. I am just more confused about the love I thought I had for this woman who I feel has betrayed me in every way. I wanted to marry this woman which is odd because of all the red flags I was getting. I should of been more careful and called the whole thing off when I realized she was avoiding me and playing games with me. Now I am in an emotional mess with nowhere to turn really. A bottle of Jack Daniels sounds good right now but I am not going to open up that mess again either. I tried calling and that was a bad idea she is getting off on seeing me suffer it seems.

oh my gosh, story of my life. sorry man I know what it feels like.

It's very easy to play with people through text message and e-mail communications, especially with someone who lives that far away from you. I don't do this long distance stuff for a very good reason, unless I have met that person first and know I will see them again when they come to town, or I visit their town. I would at least have something to do in my spare time.

If you two have never met, it will be much harder to gauge their actions and get a sense of what is going on. I have met some people who think that just because I am diagnosed with Aspergers, means I am completely incapable of understanding their personality traits. This is the biggest mistake people can make in their attempts to betray me. They seem to think that I cannot pick up on details and actions. The only way one could possibly succeed in betraying me (in dating and relationships) is if I grow attached before they do.

You are definitely much smarter and stronger than you give yourself credit for punkguy. You observed this well.

As far as her phone number and contact information goes... I believe you know what to do.

I might as well have made bullet points and notations of everything questionable she said. I mean those were all red flags to me. I have a good memory and I have dealt with a few other women and learned a few things about seeing their behavior and trying gauge whether they are telling the truth, I mean I think there was some feeling there you would have to be really good at conning someone for that long and no one who is not interested would talk to you for 8 hours a night on the phone for the first month.

Her behavior seemed genuine as far as her feelings but she lost those feelings as did I. But again you do not want to overly trust people you meet on the internet. Not a smart thing to do. I was definitely weary the whole time. I tend to trust people less and be less gullable than some aspies. It is a skill that must be learned to some degree. Of course many of my traits are mild and most people who know me do not think i am all that odd really. It is an unfortunate because most my issues come across like i am just an insensitive jerk. It was one reason she claimed she lost interest. I got pretty bad sometimes and I tried to fix it and treat her better but it was hard. She was totally aspie and got cold at times and seemed to only see things in black and white. She had the typical I need space thing that aspies do at times. i mean I did that a few times with her.

Nice to know I am not the only but I am sure there many on here who can relate. it stinks sometimes. I honestly believe I can only date aspies. Although as I found out sometimes Aspies are just as difficult to deal with in a different way. She was very touchy and was prone to having to hang up and cry when I said something a little insensitive. Or was over the top. She could not deal with me getting upset without her having a meltdown. Hers being more about freaking out and crying. Mine more abrasive and angry sounding. And then its "I have to hang up bye" very abrupt with her at times.

Thanks though for saying what you said.