no one seems to want to date me anymore

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Haven't been in a relationship for over 4 years now.

Ok, I don't try hard, but I never have anyone approach me in public trying to chat me up but I have seen people look at me and flirt, but thats it. Even in pubs, clubs etc.
Mostly people say nothing about me, occasionally I get very rude comments from people calling me fugly and worse.

When I try approaching people who flirt at me, I find it extremely hard to chat them up. As from bad experiences in the past when they have laughed at me, called me names. Sometimes girls liked to use/tease me even. They would flirt and say give me really naughty comments to fool me into thinking they fancy me. And when I tried to talk to them normally, not in a chatting up kind of way they weren't interested.

So I've kind of given up on girls. But I prefer guys anyway being bisexual.

But I have no luck with guys in real life either....

Online, a few guys and girls really fancy me, but are really really far away from me. Otherwise they said they would meet and date.

It sucks, I really miss not having a bf or gf, and starting to forget what it's like now. So the only thing that gives me a sexual thrill at the moment is my fetishes.
But my fetishes don't give me any love, caring, understanding, companionship. They are just purely extremely sexual and also a comfort and stress reliever for me.

So to be honest, I am lonely, as no one cares about me except my mum, and online people,lol.
But none of my real life friends care about me if I feel hurt.

So yes I'm pretty desperate now, but only if I like how they look and they are understanding, caring and have a nice personality.

make an effort to Uniate with more girls. Also, when they flirt it's an invitation to take things further.

Ditch the emo look and go more mainstream. Also, try to not act so desperate - clingy, needful people are a real turn-off.

Not changing how I look, as I'm very happy like that.

And I don't act desperate in real life, but I do feel desperate inside.

Then deal with it.

That is not any help..... I guess I'll just have to keep looking online and in real life and hope I find someone.

There is one guy I know online whos from essex whos sort of goth looking and is gay, and really fancies me, but I won't know what hes really like unlike I meet up with him in oct 2008.
But won't know if he wants to date me or not, until we meet.

So, you don't want to change, AND you don't like things the way things are. It seems that you want the world to change instead.

It isn't going to happen.

Deal with it.

well, hey, there is a chance with that. i think the most important thing to do when you meet him is not have the thought in your head that there is a chance he will totally reject you. i don't mean that in a bad way. if you get along great online then more likely than not you will get along great in person. good luck.

Thanks, I hope that works out for me.

I'm all for unique expression, dragonninja, but you have to regard what's attractive and what's not. You have to be willing to change things about yourself if they aren't acting as a magnet to the other gender... or your own.

So keep the emo fashion if you really want to; but you deserve to know it may very well be the reason you aren't getting much social interaction.

Unfortunately I agree. Emo/Goth look thing died years ago.

Go at least with prep, girls dig that.

I'm prep.

Be yourself, whatever that is. Anyone who'd want you to be what they want you to be at the expense of what you want to be, inside and out, isn't your true friend or lover, and doesn't deserve the time of day. They're in love with what they imagine you might've been, not what you are, and that's never going to work. A scene or look isn't everything, but then again, if you're comfortable looking one way, or alternately not comfortable looking another way, no one who honestly liked you would go out of their way to change that.

I'm not too good at remembering this myself, believe you me, but the most successful connections I've had with other people is when I've gone in and talked to them, or responded to their talking to me, with no expectations put on them or any relationship I might have with them. If you don't expect too much, and mind you that means not expecting it to fail as well as not expecting it to become the best most wonderful relationship ever, it takes a lot of the awkwardness out of the situation, and allows you to be yourself, your best self, and let someone take you or leave you on that basis. Might give it a try.

Good luck!

I second what BokeKaeru said. If the whole emo look is genuinely what you want to go for, then there's no point in trying to look 'prep' or whatever. Although without a doubt it is going to limit the people who you date, being honest and comfortable with who you are is far more important than dating anybody and everybody. And keep in mind that 'what's attractive and what's not' are pretty subjective. I mean look at Pete Wenz, the lead singer of Fallout Boy - he's hooked up with Ashlee Simpson, and she's like a total pop queen and he's emo as f***!
Eitherway, I know it's not the best advice, but I say just stick to your guns and keep trying, but don't force anything. If you've got people flirting with you, that's a good first step Just because they're not all over you straight afterwards doesn't mean anything. Oh, and don't bother with the chatting-up. That's the most overrated and just generally crap way to initiate things ever. Especially if you have AS.

The emo look is an affectation; and as such, it is mere vanity. Not many women are attracted to men whose vanity exceeds their own.

Well thats one way to look at it, but there actually Are plenty of em0grrls out there who really like that look on guys.
Not every (young)woman wants a macho *dude* with a goatee and bulging biceps ya know.




Now THAT definitely is true. But Im really sick and tired of modern young womens narcissism and self-indulgence!
Vanity is an affront to narcissism AFAIC. I personally will have NONE of it and do not date narcissists or egoists, since my
ego is big enough that there's no room for anyone elses big ego .

Hmm.....Well I'll say this. If he wants to look Emo/Goth then so be it. However, and this is from what I've seen is that most who are, are either gay or bi. no straight smart person would be.....unless as a joke, but that's a joke that's too stupid to begin with.