Dating and Religion (or lack thereof)

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Okay, this is a three-part question. To preface this, while I'm quite shy and introverted, I do have enough social skill to force myself to do the hard things like asking girls out and opening up to people. As such, I don't have any particular problems with women aside from the social faux pas and taking things far too literally... but I just need input on three specific questions.

--Let's assume I'm an atheist. The negative stigma attached to the word repells most semi-religious people, even though pretty much all agnostics are atheists and non-practicing religious people are atheists in practice. Not to digress, would I be justified in just calling myself agnostic (since technically I don't claim to hold knowledge of gods), or even irrelgious (or inactive)? It's not that I want to lie, I'd just rather they knew me before they judged me - and you can be damn sure that using the "atheist" label for myself does repel alot of decent girls.

--To complicate matters, what if I were interested in a religious girl who would shut me out if I called myself atheist, or even non-religious. Would I be justified in just avoiding the question or even going so far as to bend the truth to get to know this girl. Bending the truth would mean saying that I was "raised" christian and that I am "interested" in going to church - sure that's true and there's good information to glean from the religious folks, but I think that I'm, in a way, setting up the expectation that I'm well... not a god-hating atheist

--And a general question to my friends in WP - does religion even matter that much? I've heard of jews marrying christians, christians marrying buddhists, pagans marrying feminists (j/k ) - is it completely individual or is there some sort of general popular consensus on how much religion plays into love and dating.

Church is a great place to pick up women.

"What was it like when you first experienced God's presence?"

Lots of stuff about feeling a power opening her up and inserting itself deep within.

|-o-| V4der |-o-|

I think religion matters, if it matters to one of the people in the relationship. They may prefer to have someone that has the same belief system as them if their faith is important to them.
For me personally it would not matter because I do not hold any strong religious beliefs, although I consider myself a spiritual person in some sense. I think it's a very individual thing.

See that's the thing though, religion matters a lot to me - even being an atheist. The last thing I want is to be with someone that thinks I'm going to burn in hell for eternity, or for someone to teach my kids that God's existence is 100% certain.

But I'm willing to completely ignore religion and just date\get to know someone better before I make any decision about them - even if they're Christian Fundies or Devout Mormons and I think I already know their responses to these religious questions. I'd rather not prejudge. I'd rather spend time with you first.

But in a society (Utah) where even the mention of being irreligious can screw me out of the opportunity of meeting so many potentially great significant others, am I justified in hiding my atheism?

Anyway, thanks for the reply, Saffy.

we had an 8 page lengthy topic before on religion and relationships, but it has been locked ...

To me personally it would not matter. I have been fancying both Christian girls and a Muslim girl before. I respect anyones believes and dont see it as something of core importance so that I would set it as criteria for whom I would date or not. I do think for atheists it may be easier, while religious people may be faster to prefer dating within their own religious circle. Us atheists feel like we are not attached to any side of the religious spectrum, unless we set it as criteria to only date other atheists but personally I would find this stupid. If I respect any religion, then why would I mind if my girlfriend were religious? Within religious circles, only the more devote ones may care, I have friends from different faiths and several ones of them married someone from a different faith (to be more precise: one of my ex colleagues married a Muslim woman, and one of my atheist friends is dating a jew for several years now). Moderate or semi-secular believers will usually not care that much.

You expressed the sentiment I want to have crackedpleasures, but I think the line would be drawn when my girl thinks I'm going to hell and wants to convert me. So long as she's okay with my atheism, I'd be okay with her religiosity (I think...) - however I'm very outspoken and opinionated when it comes to philosophy or politics and I don't know if I could control my commentary .

A person who believes that you are a hell material while he/she is a heaven material will never see you as an equal human.

Before being fully atheist I was agnostic and there was a Grec Catholic girl , I didn't told her directly that I was agnostic atheist then because she wasn't ready yet for that , she was already shocked once she knew that I am from a Muslim Shiite family , let alone if she knows I am atheist (or agnostic then).
But just in a short while she started seeing me as a "Muslim with unusual ideas" , since my general behavior and interaction toward others doesn't coincide with typical Muslims' behavior. I tried to avoid religious topics as much as I could but , helas, she was too religious.

We had once a serious discussion developed into serious quarrel when she mentioned that she believes that every non-christian wouldn't have a chance in entering the heaven. I told her that I don't really believe the hell/heaven concept anyways but I also asked her if she see me as an inferior human as the same level of a murderer since I am a hell material by default. She tried too much to re-explain to me that this not exactly what she meant and that every human is sinner and can be reborn .....bla bla bla.

Ironically, she went for another Muslim Sunnite guy months later , her parents rejected him and forbid her to date him anymore.

Good that she didn't pick me after all , she and her fundie family would be a source of headache to me anyways.

Not a good idea to build a potential relationship off a lie, especially a lie regarding something so personal and essential as one's beliefs.

I am a Lutheran, but haven't attended services in over two years. I am also a hipster, except I eat meat and don't drink fancy European beers. In fact, I don't drink at all.

I am considered an outcast by the ultra-liberals because I eat meat and plan to drive an SUV. I am considered an outcast by the evangelicals (but still accepted by fellow Lutherans and Episcopalians) because I watch animated sitcoms and feel it's ok to have sex outside of marriage.

Beware of the concept of Missionary Dating.

This is where a Religionist will date a person just long enough to get them to go to church (mosque, temple, et cetera), then lose interest in the person they've been dating once a conversion is made, only to go back out into the 'Dating Pool' to bring in another gullible fool.


(... and some people wonder why I'm so down on Religion...)